i dont know what to do about haveing sex with my bf?

Question

ok so im a virgin, and the only think that a have done is making out. but since its almost valentines day i ask all my friends what i should get my bf, they say i should give him a bj. but i dont really know if i want to. but we have been together for along time now and i think im ready to have sex with him. we talk about it alot but im not sure if i should or not since i havent really done anything else, and since im kinda unexperenced??? im so confused!!

Answer 1

I am 36 father (with a young daughter)...I hope you don't mind listening to an old fart. Please read on cause the answer might surprise you...

I am sure people are going to tell you to not have sex until your married. That isn't statisitically realistic in this day and age so I am not going to quote chapter and verse from the bible or lecture you on the principle of abstence. I am going to treat you as a young adult with a serious question.

Its okay to be confused, my recommendation isn't to stop (like most people) and not to do it, but rather to do what I always do when I am unsure...SLOW DOWN. It has worked for me all my life. If you don't know the answer take your time with it, absorb more information, get more facts (sort of like what you are doing right now). Feel free to take days, weeks, months or years...you have nothing but time.

Valentines is just another day on the calendar, he will be happy whenever it happens and you need to think it through so ignore that date and take the pressure off your back and take the time you need.

I have been the guy on the other end of the coin (when I was a young kid). Feel free to take your time, all guys are SUPER horny at that age so you can pretty much expect pressure from him to a certain degree. I waited a long time to have sex with the girl I eventually married. If he is quality he will wait....so then it all comes back to YOU.

It is YOUR body and if YOU feel ready do what YOU feel comfortable with. There is no confusion there and you can't get that answer from the internet. YOU are in the driver seat and control the vehicle (pardon the expression) so YOU are deciding where it is going.


The first time I had sex the condom came off and I didn't know it cause I didn't know what I was doing!!! She wasn't the girl I eventually married and thank the lord for that (I can hardly stand her now). But I don't regret it either.

If YOU decide to have sex with your boyfriend here are somethings to think about...

Please read this carefully...

#1. Condoms break, slip off or leak (make sure you know the proper way to use a condom) and the pill isn't 100% either. I strongly suggest you use both. When using a condom, make sure your boyfriend holds it when he comes out of your body. DO NOT and I stress this DO NOT just use condoms without being prepared for the chance of pregenancy.

#2. Are you prepared for any consequence of having sex? Such as your family/friends finding out, you getting an STD or pregenant, etc. I say that not to scare you away from having sex (cause if it is done right can be wonderful), but to make sure you plan and think about all of the possibilities.

#3. Understand that first time sex is rarely as beutiful as you might think it might be. Its typically two people who are pretty clueless fumbling around with something new...practice makes perfect. Long term it is a whole lot of fun. Don't let people make you feel dirty for sharing your love with another human being.

#4. If and when you do have sex he will likely want to do it often and it will become a big part of the relationship, so be prepared for that.

Best Wishes.

Answer 2

Hey, First piece of advice, take your time on finding love, because when you rush you will eventually fall. But here is the thing, you'll never know if the guys has something until he tells you, so first get into a serious relationship, try talking to him about your sex needs and get both of you tested, when u feel its time. The one thing you can't change is how many girls he has slept with in his past, because you didn't know him at the time, so have him just get tested. Another thing is, your are 22, you are so young, trust me a guy will come into your life and love you for who are. Its seems like when you are not looking for someone they come along and when you are looking for someone you seems to never find anyone. Also trying talking to him openly about sex, when you feel comfortable, and get a little history of his past sex life, I did that with my Bf and I do feel more confident about my sex life with him. Hope this answers your question :)

Answer 3

OK good for you - still a virgin. Remember when you lose your virginity to a man you will give him something you can never give anyone else so it is best to wait till you are married before sex. It also doesn't sound as if you are ready to give him oral sex. Once you do it will expected each time you go out and perhaps he will not think of you as being his nice girl. I suggest doing something nice such as making him dinner or taking him out - enjoy the evening and being together. There are lots of other Valentines Days ahead.

Answer 4

Don't do it for Valentine's Day. Do it when it feels right. If you're not sure you want to do other things, don't. It's not a matter of only thinking you're ready, the want has to be there. Work your way up to sex - fondling, oral, then sex. Have fun with the other bases first!

Answer 5

You must really know if you are ready to take this step. If there is any doubt then the answer should be no. Don't pay any attention to what friends say. It is about you and what you want, think about it if you can come to a definite answer then fine but if you are still undecided don't do it.

Answer 6

I think a lot of it depends on your age and life experiences. Since you haven't given those details, it's hard for me to answer. The fact that you're questioning it means that you probably aren't ready. Don't let your friends or even your boyfriend pressure you. Plus, if he's slept with other people, he can trasmit the HPV virus and STD's to you, even by oral to genital contact. You have to think about the health risks these days.

Answer 7

Why are you friends so liberal about their mouths. I do not know how old you are but, I think that you should remain abstinent until your wedding day. I know that you said that you are ready for sex and quite frankly a BJ is sex.... So, if you are thinking of doing that please be safe and do not perform this with any cold sores, ulcers, do not brush your teeth just before sex, and please do not swallow. Protect yourself with condoms. Don't use his, buy your own. Good luck. Make your wise choices now.

Answer 8

Choose from 1-3 whichever seems right.
1. If it's covered up by underwear don't expose it or touch it.
2. If you want to do it whether it's Valentine's or not stick to oral.
3. If you definitely feel oral isn't enough, Valentines or not, do it (and use a condom).

Answer 9

DON'T DO IT!

This is how I feel about it ...

You should stay a virgin till you're married.
God intended it to be that way.
But many, MANY people abuse that.
And God looks down on those people.

You don't just give your virginity to just anybody.
It is the best present you can give your future husband.
It is you... it is all of you.

If you become pregnant, you can handle it better when you're married.
You'll have that person beside you who promised to always be by your side.
It won't be some random guy or some guy who you THOUGHT loved you.

Sex makes many things complicated in an unmarried relationship.
It takes two very mature people.
You do not want to get yourself lost in everything that comes with sex.
Most people nowadays tend to just BASE their relationship on sex.

I am a virgin myself. I have a boyfriend of a year that I am completely in love with. We talk about marriage and how I want to wait till our wedding day to have sex. He truly does love me... he respects me. That's when you KNOW you have a great guy. That's when you KNOW he's in love with you... when he has absolutely no problem in waiting. Actions speak louder than words...

♥♥♥

Answer 10

if you arent ready then DONT! if you have been with him a while then ask him to take it slow and do other things until you feel like you are ready. you will regret it if you arent ready. just dont rush into it!