funniest jokes ever?

Question

what is the funniest joke you have ever heard?

Answer 1

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so
we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me.
It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight
miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day "little" sister called
and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was
alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and
desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last
wild fling, just come
up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down
the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a
beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed
straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all
clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said,
we are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't
ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your
car........

Answer 2

1. A woman goes over to her married son's house and walks in to find her daughter-in-law sitting in a chair, entirely nude. The mother-in-law says, “What the hell are you doing?”
“I'm wearing my love dress,” responds the daughter-in-law, “We haven't made love in a long time.”

So the mother-in-law says, “Hm, maybe I should try that.”

She goes home to find her husband is not in, so she gets undressed. Two hours go by and finally she hears her husband's car. He walks in the front door and says, “What the **** are you doing?”

“I'm wearing my love dress,” says the wife.

“Well,” responds the husband, “it needs to be ironed

Annoying Boy on Bus

2. A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!''

The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''


Three Girls Go Camping

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.

Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."

Answer 3

THE COWBOY AND THE LESBIAN.

An old cowboy sat down at the Star bucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows,
going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring
calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding
my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As
soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I
think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think
about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of
women."

The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy
and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?!”
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a
lesbian."

Answer 4

I like the joke about the woman and the iron thing

Answer 5

Last time I got reported and my answer was deleted so I will go with my second funniest joke:
Scientists learned there are four kinds of orgasms that women have.
1. the positive (she yells oh yes oh yes)
2. the negative (she yells oh no oh no)
3. the religious (she yells oh God oh God)
4. the fake (she yells oh jOhAn oh jOhAn)

I know, I know, I will probably get reported again

Answer 6

womens rights

Answer 7

why do women have boobs?
so you got something to look at when youre talking to them