Hello I have a situation that I have never experienced before (personally) - but my lovely wife has had this unforunate exprience. Her mother died of lung cancer 10 years ago (mum was 63) - then her brother comittted Suicide after jumping off a multi storey car park, and now her dad has only days to live - due to liver cancer - my wife is distraught - understandably - I do all I can to reassure her of the situation, but i am at a loss to console her ?
2007-02-07 11:51:39 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
Dealing with loved ones dying, is extremely hard as I lost my first wife to breast cancer 6 years ago, after being married for 30 years. She was only 49. I could not deal with this trauma alone, so I asked my Dr. for a list of good therapists who deal with grieving , and or dying. I was not much on therapists, but when I went for my first visit with the therapist I picked, wow, all my pain came out, just simply talking to her. She got me back on the right road, to let go of all the internal pain I had, and it became easier to deal with this whole nightmare I went through. I am remarried, and very happy again, but thanks to that therapist, she helped me to become independant, and get on the road to recovery. Sometimes it takes a proffessional to help a person deal with trauma, because it becomes too much without that added help. I hope this may help your wife. God Bless.............
2007-02-07 12:08:19 · answer #1 · answered by Ron 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First I would like to say I am very sorry for your families loss. I actually have had a very similar experience. My wife has lost both of her parents to cancer in the past four years. I too was at a loss. The best advice I could give is to just be there for her. When she wants to talk, cry, yell, and even blame, just be there. It is a life changing time for her and you. Show her that you are there unconditionally and do not take anything personally during her time of grieving. When the roller coaster ends she will be grateful that you were there even when things were at their worst.
2007-02-07 12:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!! That is really unfortunate, and very distraughtful. I'm sure you have been there the best way you know how. And honestly, unless Doctor Phil could reply to your question, all i can think of is, to just be there, for her, and not get fustrated, eventhough it can be stressful on both of you. In the end, she will always remember and know in her heart that you were their through all the good and the bad, and never left her side. Even when she thought of herself as intolerable.. which is absoloutely in her right to be.
You are a great husband, i'm sure and after all the so to speak, think fog, and devastation clears, {which will probably be a very long time, if not ever}, she in her heart, deep down, will always know and appreciate the fact that you stood by her side. ;)
THE VERY BEST to you BOTH!
2007-02-07 12:09:13 · answer #3 · answered by MOON13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. That sounds awful. It seems like all the bad things here lately are happening to the good people. If you let the bad things take over your life then you will never be able to let go enough to live your life. But if you take the bad as what it is and take the good for all it's worth then what you have learned will only make you stronger. Good Luck and God Bless
2007-02-07 12:00:11 · answer #4 · answered by Hugs and Kisses 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for her, is let her lean on you. There are no magic words to fix this, and anything you try to 'script' will come out flat. Just tell her you love her, and that you're there for her. Just being by her side will mean the world to her. I'm so sorry you and your wife are going through this. I know it's so very hard.
2007-02-07 11:55:05 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is terrible! I wouldn't know what to do in the situation except just be there for her. Let her know that its ok and that you will always be there for her. There are no words in the world that are going to make her feel better .. how would you feel if you pretty much lost all of your family? You wouldn't want people telling you things all the time. Just be a shoulder for her to cry on.
2007-02-07 11:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by Jenny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not much you can do but to make her feel good by beeing there when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Just be there that is all you can do...It is hard when you loose some one that close to you words can't change anything. But actions work better love her because now is the time she needs you most.
2007-02-07 11:56:49 · answer #7 · answered by biglilone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats horrific! im so sorry for her pain and loss and also for your circumstances!
just be there for her...its difficult to find words anyway and in this situation it seems almost impossible.
be there and hold her tight, actions speak louder than words....make sure she has time to grieve and this may take longer as there as so many stages to get through in grief not to mention the number of times she has had to go through these circumstances...
you're a good man, be patient with her, love her, hold her and make sure she knows that you are always there for her....be her Rock :)
Good Luck and i'll say a little prayer for you and your wife :)
2007-02-07 11:59:39 · answer #8 · answered by Jia K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks! Just keep reminding her of how much you love her and need her. Tell her that at least her father will atlast be reunited with the love of his life. Let her know that for as sad as death is for those of us left behind that there is a better place awaiting those who have passed. Good Luck!
2007-02-07 11:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by Goddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's going to have to do this her own way. All you can do is be there for her and reassure her of that. She will be upset for a while and may even need some therapy. Hopefully, she will come around. But, please, please, don't tell her it gets better with time. You never get over the loss of a loved one.
2007-02-07 11:54:47 · answer #10 · answered by Groovy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋