Ok so heres the deal. We wanted a small wedding so we chose a chapel that only holds 30 people max. To be fair, we are only inviting 15 people each. This is fine with me except I will have toleave some people in my family out. How can I be polite about this? I really dont want to hurt anyone's feelings. How can I invite my aunt and uncle, for instance, and not invite my 7 cousins (their grown kids)?
2007-02-07 11:44:54 · 12 answers · asked by wildheart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
There's nothing wrong with limiting your guest list. We also only invited our first generation aunts and uncles and chose not to invite their adult children since we are not in contact with them regularly. And when my cousins got married, they did the same thing. My parents were invited and we weren't. None of us were offended since we don't interact that much except for occasional family get togethers for the holidays. We sent wedding announcements to all of our family and friends who we could not invite to let them know about our day. And afterwords we also shared our wedding pictures and video with them as well. Unfortunately you cannot always accommodate people and most people will understand.
2007-02-07 11:56:56 · answer #1 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to personally talk to your aunt and uncle, and others about the wedding. Explain that it's not anything personal with their kids. You just don't have the means, or the space for anyone else. I'm sure they will be okay with that.
You could also have a Pre-wedding dinner, at your home, or at a friends home, and invite the guest you could not invite to the wedding.
Give out some fairly modest party favors, this is like a mini reception, even have a cake, and have simple decorations. This way they can still enjoy this special occasion with you, and hopefuly they will be understanding.
If you do this, it shows you do care for them, and they should appreciate the thought. You could also make the wedding for Adults only. We have been invited to a wedding for adults only. We understand that this is do to the high cost of living. Most kids don't really think twice about all the things done, or have fun at weddings.
If the kids are grown up, they should be smart enough to think realistically about the cost of weddings these days, and they should not give you a hard time. If they do, they will eventually get over it, if you still treat them nicely.
2007-02-07 20:35:56 · answer #2 · answered by woman of steel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You explain to the 7 adults that you're having a very small wedding, and there simply wasn't room in the chapel for everyone you could've invited. People will understand, it's your wedding. Hopefully they won't be so crass as to call you up to have you explain this one either, but make sure your mother and aunt know the situation, so they can pass the word to the family members who won't be invited.
Congrats and best of luck.
2007-02-07 20:25:07 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the distance to the reception, you could allow as many people who would like to attend the wedding come to see. Just have reserved seats for selected guests. If you mention in the invitations that the wedding will have "limited seating reserved for honored guests" everyone knows what to expect. I would not be offended to stand at a wedding while my parents are allowed to sit.
If this seems to selective, have separate invitations inviting some to the wedding and reception and others, simply, to the reception.
All in all, this is your wedding, not theirs. I had a church that could accommodate 100 people and actually had cousins and friends that stood along the sides. It was a short wedding so no one seemed to mind, plus it kind of made me feel like a celebrity.
2007-02-07 20:55:00 · answer #4 · answered by goofyfoot 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't invite them. But don't invite any of them! You can get away with inviting your aunt and uncle and not their kids (especially if they're grown), but you can't get away with inviting some cousins but not others. Just explain that things will be small.
In all honesty, your grown cousins probably don't want to come anyway, unless you're close.
2007-02-08 13:30:53 · answer #5 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you explain this delemia to your family im sure they will inderstand and if they don't then you and your husband need to figure out if it is worth having family problems or maybe find another chapel. Good luck! I know it's tough planning a wedding and trying to make everyone happy.
2007-02-07 20:03:16 · answer #6 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you have a separate reception with more people at a later time and show a video of the wedding?
If not, just let them know. Be honest and they will understand.
2007-02-07 19:53:13 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them and be polite about it. Most people totally understand and won't make a stink about it. If they do, just say somehting like, "Well yeah I guess my new husband's mother doesn't HAVE to go."
It's cool! You have MUCH more important things to worry about girl! You have a wedding to plan!
Congrats!
2007-02-07 20:26:30 · answer #8 · answered by me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just explain that due to limited space you cannot invite everyone you want but that they will all be in your thoughts as you are sure they will be thinking of you on your special day. Also tell them you would love to get together and celebrate with them on a different date.
2007-02-07 19:57:53 · answer #9 · answered by Dawnita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my ex husband and i did a very small wedding also. the week after the wedding, we had a great backyard bbq for all of our family and friends. that was fun.
2007-02-07 20:15:54 · answer #10 · answered by Hello Kitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋