My boyfriend is 31 and still living at home with momma. We have been going out for almost 3yrs., he stays home all the time. Never comes over. When he is sick or hurt...who takes care of him? Huh need not ask, MOMMA. He recently feel and broke his arm, when his mother arrived, I was told to get out of the ambulance and let her ride, no he didn't stand up for me. The other day when he had his doctor appt. she took off work to take him, I did too thinking I would be the one, I was instead asked to ride along with them...NOT. I passed. He has even missed a Valentines Day to go spend it watching Nascar with his family instead. I have two kids and He Never does anything with us. He acts like a big ol' baby about everthing. My daughter poked him in the eye one time and he held it and nursed it for a intire day and night, no blood spot was there either. I could go on forever. But you all would really be questioning my inteligance. My Question is " Do Momma's Boys EVER GROW UP?????? Is there anyone out there that has seen the miracle of a mommas boy getting off the nip?
2007-02-07 11:17:34 · 14 answers · asked by Desperate to get out of it? 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I would like to add a few things. I have been sooo independent for so many years, raising my kids alone was no problem, paying my own bills, doing my own lawn care, repairing my vehicle when needed, and the list goes on. However, since I have been with this 31yr.old baby, I have become so down that I feel like I have lost all the qualities about myself, why is that? I can't help but ask myself what has happened to me. I have always been so strong and would not walk but run away from a looser boyfriend in a heartbeat before, I can't believe I am still with this guy. I am 34 and way deserving of a great man in my life, why do women stay with someone like this? I always looked at women in my own situation and said Quote"What is wrong with her?" "Is she that desperate to stay with someone like that", and Here I Am! I feel like I am losing my mind on this deal, I am going crazy, wanting to end it......but haven't! I don't understand myself right now! He truely DOESNOT deserve me!
2007-02-07 14:35:45 · update #1
My fiance was a big mommas boy... but your boyfriend is in way deeper than mine was. It only took a few months of dating for my fiance to start shedding his momma boy ways and a year later he still does things like let his mom open all his mail and call him tell him what it is and what he needs to do (That will end as soon as we move into together cuz all mail is being forwarded to our home) but you've been dating this guy for 3 years and he seems as bad as he was when you started dating him. Your a single mom: you need a man who you feel protected with and you feel that your kids will be protected by (a guy who nurses a bogus wound all day doesn't seem like the protective type) plus he should be doing stuff with your kids by now... From one single mom to another....
Talk to him about this. See what he says. Tell him what you need and if he cant provide what you need or isn't willing to try than its time to move on for your sake and your children.
Take Care Honey!
I just read your additional details:
I was in an abusive relationship for a couple years and even while I was in it - I couldnt believe I didnt just run. I always said if a guy hit me I would be gone but I didnt with that guy. I think it was a combination of lowered self esteem, dependancy, pity of the guy (why I would pity a guy who beat me up I dont know but a part of me did at the time)... no one knows exactly why we stay in relationships that arent healthy for us but thats not even important.. the important part is that you get out and move on with your life.
2007-02-07 11:29:21 · answer #1 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need a man in your life not another child. My advice is send him back to mommy and be happy in your life and your kids. Keep him and have another child to take care of. You all ready know the answer you need a partner to love you and your kids. There are men out there you just have to find the right one for you and your kids good luck and lose the big toddler.
2007-02-08 06:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by RANDALL 5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I think you've answered your own question!! The fact that you feel like you've changed (and not for the good) is a big red flag that you need to leave him. The way you've described him, I doubt it'll kill him. He'll probably just go running to mommy. Get out now- find a real man that can take care of himself!!!
2007-02-07 15:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by JustMyOpinion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run while you can. He will NEVERchange and if it turned into you all getting married he will side with his mother on everything. She will become worse at time goes on too! I am married to a MaMa's boy. We lived 2 hours from his family while we were dating so I didn't know he was a mamas boy, just thought he loved his mom. His mom can do or say anything to me and he sides with her! it has taken me 5 years to get him to stick up for me when she pulled her last load of $hit!!! so run. i put up with it because we have kids together. Run! easier said then done, but you deserve someone that loves you and wants to be with you and your kids!
2007-02-07 11:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by Tracie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 110% correct... he doesn't deserve you... Be honest with him and tell him if he wants to be with you, both he and his mother need to cut the apron strings or you are leaving ASAP! You are too good to be with someone who doesn't stand up for you and needs constant mothering. You have been independent for so many years... a couple more on your own with your kids won't do you any harm. Your prince charming is waiting out there somewhere...
Good luck!!
2007-02-08 03:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by Me! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't grown up at age 31, I would not count on him ever growing up, but you do say this is your boyfriend, if this is the way he acts you need to let him go, and find someone else, you have two children you don't need an adult one.
Also I would question the relationship between he and his mother, its time he was weaned away from her.
2007-02-07 11:31:17 · answer #6 · answered by brown.gloria@yahoo.com 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
momma's boys never NEVER NEVER grow up! i have met a few and they never change. If i were you i would find a better male role model for my kids. And a better boyfriend for you. It sounds like him and his mom should be married by the way they act! get out of the relationship before she dies and he tries to replace her with you. Do you want to be taking care of a grown "baby" for the rest of his life?
2007-02-07 11:28:38 · answer #7 · answered by Katie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your right! He doesnt deserve you! He will never change. Is this really the kind of role model you want for your children? Think about what it will do to them and don't settle for second best like you have been! You deserve better!
2007-02-08 05:11:56 · answer #8 · answered by Punky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will never change so u better tell him that he either shape up and be a good partner or ship out. If he chooses to ship out tell him to marry his momma becos he will never change even if you try your best.
Move on girl, you deserve better go for it.....put your rod out for another male fish to catch the line.
this move will be helpful for your kids and for yourself as well.
Stop the running after him. he is not worth it.
2007-02-07 13:33:52 · answer #9 · answered by Lornaz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was you I would have been quit him. I am sorry but anyone that i am going to be with is going to have a job and take care of his children. Also he will not be that old and still be living with his mom. What kind of stuff is that?
2007-02-07 11:33:56 · answer #10 · answered by T0p N0tc# Gl@m0ur C#iick!!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋