i have to go to a wake tomarrow and a funeral the next day. I dont know if i can handle it. its for my grandmother and i feel so sad. theres a huge amount of the family i havent seen in a long time and im very nervous. I dont know how to act at the funeral. im way to scared to see my grandmothers face after shes dead and filled with embalming fluid. its just sick to look at that. and the smell in funerals is just nasty. this is going to be HARD and i need help on what i can do?
2007-02-07 11:16:35 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The first body I ever saw was my mom's. It really wasn't so bad. I was terrified to go but I felt so peaceful after I saw her that I even held her hand! As for how to act; there is no RIGHT way to act...be yourself...others will understand. My aunt even laughed at a funeral and people just gave her their condolences.
2007-02-07 11:20:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to see that going to your grandmothers funeral as a act of showing your respect to her and the rest of your family. It is a way of saying goodbye to her. Forget about the embalming fluid, or the way the funeral home smells.
The day of the funeral there will be flowers that will help make things smell nice. Wear something nice and wear a nice perfume. Just be respectful to the other people and think of it like this, even though you didnt know them, your grandmother did so you want to be friendly and kind.
When you see your grandmother, think of the good things she has told, shown or taught you. Look at the beautiful flowers people have sent out of respect for her and what a wonderful lady she was and will always be in your heart. You can touch her hand and tell her you love her and know in your heart that she loves you too. HUGS!
2007-02-07 11:34:53 · answer #2 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for the loss of your gram. Hugs to you.
As for the wake and funeral, you are there to say goodbye to your grandmother, to remember fond things about her with your family members. There is not "right or wrong" way to act. If you feel like crying, then cry. If someone mentions something funny about her, then smile, even laugh. Honestly, when my step-dad died, I thought he would look horrible in the casket (my first experience), but he didn't even really seem to be gone. They had made him look very *normal* compared to what I was expecting. It is going to be hard, but your family will be there to help you through it. If you need to take a break, you can always roam around the funeral home a little bit, or step outside for a few minutes. You can also talk to the funeral director, they are trained to assist bereaved families through this time.
2007-02-07 11:34:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is going to be hard, but you can do it. You have your family around and they have you. It's okay to cry if you're sad and even laugh at stories and memories of your grandmother. Take a rose with you to smell when the funeral scent starts to bother you. You don't have to see your grandmother if you don't want to. Your family will understand that you want to remember the way she looked in your memories not in a casket. Try to be there for your parents, see if they need anything to drink, tissues, etc. If you're busy helping them it'll make you feel better. Good Luck!
2007-02-07 11:58:39 · answer #4 · answered by Kimmi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss and sorry your so sad.
Let your mom and dad know how you feel and ask if you can sit in the back and if you feel up to it you will go up to the front. The important thing is that you go to say good bye to your grandma, if you don't you might feel you didn't get a chance as you get older.
You will be seeing cousins and friends there that will soon make you feel at ease.
At funerals I always think that somewhere in the world a baby was born at the same time as the death -- as in " the torch was passed" It makes me feel better.
Best to you and your family.
2007-02-07 11:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by Only Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would like to say I sorry to hear about you grandmother passing, I wanted to let you know I know how you feel when losing someone you come to know and love with all you heart. And in time you heart will heal, but you’ll never forget you granddad. You know I believe when someone you love is gone everything changes. I know I can’t really say anything to take away your pain deep inside right now, But I do hope it can help to remember all the many things about your grandmother? And I really do believe that someday in the future we’ll all together again with everybody we ever loved.
A funeral is time to say good bye to your grandmother to wish her will in the next life, yes it's going to be hard for you, and yes your going to cry that part of life your not going to be alone. You love her and she loves you just remember that and go say good-bye for now to her. She'll always be with you in your heart.
Sorry again you'll be fine
2007-02-07 11:25:45 · answer #6 · answered by choiceav 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sooo sorry about your loss.If it makes you feel that uncomfortable just go but if you can't handle it, walk out for a while. The same thing happened to me so i left and went ot the bathroom for a while... that way i was there for my family and my grandmother but i din't have to se the whole thing. it really also helped to talk to my sister so if you can talk to someone i would.
2007-02-07 11:22:56 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be your self. You will be okay they make people look just like they are sleeping.my first one was when I was 8 years old I couldn't understand why grandpa wouldn't wake up. (its nothing like the movies) but this will help you let her go. Don't get the should of would of's you will regret it.
2007-02-07 11:25:16 · answer #8 · answered by tishniaeq069696 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2-old
2016-05-24 04:43:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just explain to everyone how you feel.tell them you cant really stand to see the person you loved so much like that.im sure they will understand.
2007-02-07 11:26:05 · answer #10 · answered by shn_rmrz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋