Would you say I am betraying my bf. What should I do?

Question

I was working with my bf business(not enough to make a living).Got an offer to work somewhere else for stable salary. This would leave bf in a situation b/c he made plans with me in them. I'm in school,condo owner,living off little savings and plan to get an equity loan till I finish school. Will be done in Oct.We are planning to marry and have a baby reeeaallyy soon.Both of us have no money, just a dream. At first I thought I should take the position to play it safe for us but now I'm contemplating not taking the job at all and see how his business goes. Would I be betraying him if I took the job? Would it be unwise to pass up an oppurtunity when I have so many commitments, and we have so many near future plans? He's giving me the indication that he thinks less of me now.Part of the reason I am not working is based on advice he gave me which lead me to leave the job w/ no work back up. I feel torn

Answer 1

You might as well have this particular crisis now, while you're both young and flexible. You've gotten yourself into a love/work relationship, and those are terribly difficult to extract yourself from. The best thing a couple can do is to work for two different employers who've never heard of each other.

As it stands, he is unhappy that you wish to leave your job with him because it shows that you have no confidence in his business ability and his ability to provide for you. And, unfortunately, this is the truth: something will have to change with either him or his business, and lots of businesses fail.

But there is absolutely no reason for you to live in poverty to suit his pride, and if he doesn't realize that, he is revealing a side of his character that you ought to know about.

There ought to be a way for the two of you to work around this obstacle, and if there isn't, the two of you might not be quite as suitable for each other as perhaps you first imagined.

Answer 2

Well, if HE is not making any money, someone needs to. And if this someone is you - then do it. If I were you, I would go for the stable job. Your b/f can hire someone else to do what you do, let them not make enough to make a living. It's one thing to start a business when you have something to live on even if it fails, but it's a whole another thing to not have any money at all, AND a business that's not doing well. My advice is, look out for yourself and take the job; it would serve him well to get a real job, too. I don't really know how you guys can be making all these plans about marriage and kids when you're broke.

Answer 3

With you both having little to no money- any little bit helps. He should be happy that you want to work to get your family together before you actually start to have one. He may be a bit miffed because he may depend on you for certain things in regards to his business, but he can hire someone else to take your place. If you still feel bad, maybe you can offer to part time with him.

Either way you really have to look towards your future. With no money, you really arent ready to have the baby and get married- as both of those things cost money.

I wouldnt pass up a job opportunity one bit. Whatever you do now will help you in the future.

Answer 4

Well I tell you what, this is something that you and he need to talk about. You have to sit down and explain the reasons you think you should take the job. Then the reasons you think you should stay with your job you have. Make a list of pros and cons concerning each option. (You may want to make this list before hand so you have all the facts or reasons in front of you, this will help you remeber all the reasons for each option.) You will be able to properly think over,and be able to quickly dicuss each ofthe reasons. This way both of you can come to a decision that will not leave either feeling slighted.

Answer 5

Take the job with an eye toward your future. But is there someone else your boyfriend can employ to help in his business? Can you help him with that kind of suggestion? He needs someone in his business plans, but maybe it doesn't have to be you.

Also I'd suggest: get married as soon as you wish, but postpone the baby plans until you feel your finances are a little more stable.

Answer 6

I say you should go for the job cuz...after the baby comes there will be a lot more money needed and if you dont have enough, well do something that will get you more. In your case.. it go for the job

Answer 7

I think you need to sit down and talk to him and tell him the reasons you WANT to take the job. You two can only make it so long without money.

Answer 8

Be honest with him. If he loves you like you think he does, then talk to him about it and make the decision together.

This is exactly the type of decision you need to make together if you're going to be married. Discuss it and figure out if it really is the best for both of you.

Answer 9

nicely im no therapist yet to me it sounds like ya'll have significant have confidence themes.nicely if i've got been you i could only somewhat take a seat him down and have an exceedingly solid convo wit him related to the way you sense and if he somewhat loves you and ought to be with you he will quit all da stuff dat he doin or he will attempt to get help.he's youthful so he might desire to be jus tryin 2 hit upon wats out der bt that remains not and excuse simply by fact he might desire to've been questioning approximately that before he have been given you pregnant now its time to end that and be a guy.and that i for particular dont think of yall might desire to ruin up bt if he isnt keen to alter and he needs to maintain doin what he doin then there somewhat isnt a reason 2 be with him bt in case you spot him tryin to end or if he does end then i think of you will possibly desire to assist him and be there each step of how and if yall dont think of its meant to be only attempt and sty 2gether for 4 the newborn and specifically circumstances you jus gotta ignoire him wat you spot like him leaving open his digital mail aaddress simply by fact somtimes you spot element that u wouldn't have considered and have confidence me what is going in da darkish will come to the easy which recommend god permit you to work out each little thing that his doin in the back of yo lower back bt jus pray approximately it

Answer 10

you aren't making enough to live on working for him but he
thinks less of you for contemplating a job you can make a
living at. RED LIGHT! big fat harry red light. you are the
one doing all the giving and he is trying to control you. please
please please do not make a baby with this guy. guys who
want you to do the giving can never be pleased. you can
give until you are all used up and it will never be enough.
please listen to someone who has been there. back off.
he will show his hand.