I am 19 years old and had a bf when i was 16 that my grandma did not aprove of because of his age but I am in love with him. Well I told him that once I was of age I would get back with him. Well when I turned 18 we did get back together but broke up because of the stupid rumors people were saying. I have recently met up with him and we talked things out and we want to be together. The only thing that is stopping us is my family and people that know my grandma. If they see us together they will go and tell her and I will more thank likely get in a lot of trouble. We do love each other the only thing is I dont want to keep on having to sneak to see him. My grandma doesnt like him because of when I was seeing him when I was 16. I dont know what to do, I love him so much but she is going to step in our way. Can someone please help me out and tell me what I could do??
2007-02-07 10:28:42 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This guy has been waiting on me, he dated but he told me that he couldnt do it because i still have his heart, and he told me when we broke up b4 he said "no matter how many times you break my heart I will always love you" I do love him our feelings are still there. Yes I live with my grandma, she doesnt like him because when I was 16 he was 23 which makes him 26 now. That is the only reason she doesnt like him is because of his age. She dont know him personally.
2007-02-07 10:50:21 · update #1
Well, if you really do love him, your family is going to have to find out eventually anyway, and it's easier to do it now than to wait forever. If your family is really crazy or really hates him for some reason, then who knows... it might eventually come down to choosing between them and him. And that'd suck a lot... umm... You need to be with the man you love, and don't worry about what other people say. And don't worry about "rumors" either.
2007-02-07 10:35:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like grandma is kind of controlling. Been there done that one, and it's not easy but if you love this guy you gotta step up. Talk to her and tell her how you feel and that you are an adult now and you will do what makes you happy. Cut the noose that is tied around your neck so to speak. Meaning, don't let your family control you, especially your heart. My family is/was the same way, you just have to step up and speak up for yourself. If he's worth it, you will. Good Luck!
2007-02-07 18:49:51 · answer #2 · answered by Yahoozula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe there is nothing wrong with your Grandma, it might be of something she knows of your Boyfriend and that is why she does not like him. Maybe the fact of the matter is that he might be much older than you, and she thinks that he is not going to make you happy. If as you say that you are now 19 yrs. old your Grandmother should not dictate as to who you are going to marry, because it is your future and if for some reason you made a mistake with him, well, it is you not your Grandma, that is going to suffer. I know that you are going to Marry him and I hope you and him will be Happy.
2007-02-07 19:35:10 · answer #3 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what you think is right. If you "love" him and you want to be with him than that is your choice. Life is about choices and your grandma will not be there to make the decisions for you. You need to explain to your grandma that you are old enough to make your own decisions and that you respect her opinion but you are also entitled to her own. My parent's didn't approve of my brother's girlfriend but my brother is almost 21 and there is nothing that my parent's can do. I was not a huge fan of my brother's ex-girlfriend, but you have to do what you feel is best. Explain to your boyfriend that your grandma doesn't think it is right but tell him how you feel. If he loves you the same he will stay with you. Good Luck.
2007-02-07 18:37:53 · answer #4 · answered by ittybittywhitty07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult now. You can make your own decisions. If you love this man then it is your choice to be with him...no matter what grandma's opinion of him was at one time. It is sad that she cannot let go of something that happened years ago. It is also sad that they make you decide between family or the man you love. i do not envy you at all. Have you thought about getting your own place...or do you have your own place already? If your family sees that you love this man, they need to mind their own business and welcome him as your boyfriend or i am afraid they will be losing you. i hope that things work out for you. You have my sympathy. Best wishes.
2007-02-07 18:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by fair blue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have learned neaver keep that kind of a sereat.Be honest and remanber your grandma loves you and just wants the best for you.Love is funny you think you found the love of your life and than you get to be fifty years olds you dont know at all.Be honest with your grandma brang it out.Its better than a lie.
2007-02-07 19:00:50 · answer #6 · answered by deborah b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to your grandmother about the situation. Ask her to explain exactly why she does not approve of the two of you dating now. Explain to her that you respect her feelings on the matter, but that you are your own person and that you have feelings for him. Let her know that you respect her enough to not sneak around, but you have to live your own life. Hopefully, she can show you the same respect.
2007-02-07 18:38:47 · answer #7 · answered by fly guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your grandma can't hold you back on this one. You're 19, you are a legal adult. You shouldn't have to sneak in to see anyone you want to see, and if anyone tries to stop you, tough!! Tell your grandma you will see this boy whether she wants you to or not, and she will just have to deal, and trust your good judgment of character. Good luck babe :)
2007-02-07 18:37:37 · answer #8 · answered by Penelope L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are over 18 so I would say see him anyways. But what did he do to make your grandmother disapprove so greatly? Was he acting like a jerk then? It seems your grandmother may feel she has a right to direct you but its your life. Stand up and say its my life and I want to see him. Only then will you see if its worth it or if your grandmother was right he is a jerk. but Stand up and act 19 you are no longer a child. If we all listened to everything our parents told us well we would be in trouble. So are her feelings valid? You need to find that out for yourself. There is nothing more irratating then feeling like Romeo and Juliet.
2007-02-07 18:36:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what makes you happy. Would you let your grandmother choose your future spouse? No. Tell grams you are a big girl and can make your own decisions. He may not be right for you, but you should still be allowed to have fun with him while it makes you happy. Tell your Grandmother that you respect her opinion, but you're old enough to date who you want to. Period.
2007-02-07 18:34:36 · answer #10 · answered by Jelly B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋