I'm married and my hubby and I decided that around the holidays we would alternate Christmas between the families(one Xmas at my moms..the next at his,etc.,etc.,) to keep things fair with the mother in laws.My mom's birthday is on Christmas and she says that she WON'T share her Christmas and if we're going to do it this way not to come for Christmas at all.Is she right for doing this?
2007-02-07 10:13:23 · 9 answers · asked by Direktor 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Both Grandma's love to see grandkids on Christmas but they live in different states.
2007-02-07 10:14:20 · update #1
She has five other kids and one other grandkid!! My siblings usually bring dates too!
2007-02-07 10:38:33 · update #2
No. Your mother is bullying you. It is your choice where to spend Christmas. Go to your in-laws next year. Your mom will probably invite you back for the following one. If not, she is just an unreasonable person who is trying to control you. (Do you see this behavior in her with other things?) Decide how much you want her to dictate your life!!
2007-02-07 10:18:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well being in this same situation. Being alternated between my Moms' and my Dads'. They alternate. So Thanksgiving time I would with my Dad and Christmas my Moms. (Vs.) Really like it that way. Usually after the holidays are through we end up going over to my Grand Ma's anyway. Though my Grand Mothers' B-Day does not fall on or near Christmas. My opinion is I like the different traditions between my Grand Parents. So I would explain to your Mom that its good for your child to experience both sides. Maybe compromise for her Birthday you will try to make plans after the holidays are over. My Mom does not like celebrating her birthday. Think Dad feels the same way too. Mom says, just want to forget shes getting older. Do not want to sound mean, but sounds like your Mom has resentments or is being too selfish? Sorry. Hope I gave some okay advice? G.L.
2007-02-07 10:33:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she is very wrong for doing this and its sad that she wants to put you in this situation and the only way around this is to stick to your guns and say well gee mom i am really sad to hear that and so i guess i will have to tell (your hubby) that until further notice his mom can count on us for x-mas which stinks for me and my kids (if you have them)because we do really want to see you but i totally understand and will honor your wish and just not come then sorry it has to be that way and leave it at that she is expecting you to bend her way once you thought she was upset and so she decided to emotionally black mail you into doing what she wanted! the truth is that your right it would not be fair to your mother-in -law or to your husband who i am sure loves his family and would like to spend a Christmas with them also and you can only explain to your mom well i don't think he (your husband) thought that when he married me he would never see his family at x-mas and i think it would be very unfair of me to ask and especially since his mother and him could have asked me the same thing but didn't i understand that your birthday is also on this holiday and so you kinda lose out on a day of the year that we get to just worry about seeing you like a birthday but i have to try and and work out the whole holiday thing because i am married and want to think of him also so i am sorry you don't understand my situation and when its your turn we will call and see if we are welcome and if not then you will know where to find us! its the only thing you can do and once she hopefully thinks about it she will realize she is being a little selfish and needs to let it go!
2007-02-07 11:07:47 · answer #3 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! You're mother needs to grow up and act like an adult. It may not be easy having a birthday on Christmas but the day is more than just her birthday. It's sad but there comes a time if life when a child needs to act like the parent when the parent is acting like a child. Sit her down and tell her how you feel. No yelling, no fighting, just rational conversation. If you don't want to give in to her ultamatum, then don't. And tell her that!
2007-02-07 10:40:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can sort of understand where she is coming from because it is her birthday and she feels like that will get left out being as though christmas is the same day. U need to make that day extra special for her. At the same time i see where your coming from too.Just tell her that it doesnt matter where we have christmas im not going to forget that it is your birthday too.
2007-02-07 12:12:40 · answer #5 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To keep the peace if one of the mother's doesn't object I guess it's all right
But in my opinion, one of them is being selfish birthday or not.
You should talk with your mom or at least arrange to have his mom present on Xmas day.
Also I would spend more time with his if Xmas day is out of the question.
No offence but sh should grow up. Does she have any other children (and I don't just mean grandchildren)
2007-02-07 10:31:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she is not right. You need to alternate and she will need to get used to it. Or you can spend CHristmas at home and let them come see you.
2007-02-07 10:35:36 · answer #7 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could be fair about it and do the alternate holiday thing as you originally planned.. if they wont agree. spend one xmas at your own home or maybe invite both to your place.. always is a compromise if you look hard enough
2007-02-07 10:34:56 · answer #8 · answered by road runner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mother should stop acting like a child and be mature!!!remind her that you're married and that you have to think about your husband's feelings also!!!
2007-02-07 10:19:24 · answer #9 · answered by ....FED UP............ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋