When selecting your maid of honor and bridesmaids should you send an email to officially announce who they will be, or should you ask everyone individually via telephone first? And once you decide who they will be, are you supposed to let anyone else know before the wedding??? I have a lot of friends, but I know the 5 people I want to have in my bridal party. I need them to help me do some things, but haven't officially asked them yet to be my bridesmaids. Any advice on how to handle this properly? Also, one of my three younger sisters keeps calling me asking can she be my maid of honor... I don't want a huge bridal party but I don't want them to feel left out. Is there another role my sisters (13 and 14 years old) can play thats important in the wedding?
2007-02-07 09:59:58 · 9 answers · asked by ladymai21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You can send them a formal card asking them to be part of your bridal party
invite all of your bridal party over to dinner and ask them all together, that way they can get to know each otehr while celebrating
Younger girls can play "junior bridesmaids" or candle lighters roles where they are still involved in the wedding but dont have all the responsibility of the maid of honor. Explain to her gently that it tends to cost alot of money to be a maid of honor and you know that may be difficult for her and that you would love to have her in your wedding but ina differnt role. im sure she would understand.
2007-02-07 10:05:57 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask in person if you can. If they are too far away I'd say a telephone call over an email would be more personal. However you do it, try to ask everyone on the same day. I waited till I could see each person IN person to ask...and well, word got out about 5 minutes after I asked the first girl, and then I had hard feelings from one of the other ones. In other words, she wanted to know why she wasn't asked yet. You could ask your sisters to do a reading if it will be in the church, or to handle handing out programs, introducing people at the wedding, there are all kinds of things they could do. I wouldn't recommend having a 13 or 14 year old as maid of honor...that's a lot of responsibility.
2007-02-07 10:15:08 · answer #2 · answered by MelB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You NEED to ask each one individually. You should do it in person if you can (ie. distance). I think it is cute if you gave them a small gift to open that had something to do with being a bridesmaid. This way it is much more special than just asking. After all they are going to be your backbone through the whole process. I would then set up a website page (ie. the knot) that tells all about your wedding and wedding party. You can then send that to your friends without it being rude or having to have the akward conversation of you not wanting them in your bridal party.
As for your sisters....you can do one of two things. You can give them a role such as being in charge of the guest book or cake cutting, etc. or you can have them be special guests. They can walk down (not in a bridesmaid dress), something they want to wear with a single flower and sit in the front row. This way they are singled out. I had a friend do this and it was very sweet.
2007-02-07 10:20:55 · answer #3 · answered by myview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just call them up and ask them....
don't feel obligated to ask your family. Ask who is the closest to you.
You can have your younger sisters monitor the guestbook and gift table etc and have other roles in the background work. Even be hostesses at your showers.
You don't have to tell everyone who you have chosen... that is between you and those people and if they want to know who you asked they will ask you or they can just see at the wedding.
Congrats and good luck.
I have a few family friends that my mom wants me to include that are freshmen in college so to old for flower girls and not close enough for bridesmaids so we are having them do guest book, gift table, usherettes, something......
You can also have them as "Junior Bridesmaids" if you would like instead of having flowergirls....
its all up to you
2007-02-07 10:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by Jenna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am getting married in Apr and I notified each person individually. ALSO, I had a guy that I chose to be in my wedding party that is unreliable. I told my backup guy that I was waiting on my soon to be wife's number in her wedding party before I made any announcements. (Even though every one else knew). Well, when the fourth guy got arrested for stealing my checkbook and cashing a bunch of checks, I threw him out and now number 4 doesn't even know that he was a backup. DEFINITELY talk to each person individually because if you have someone who declines, then the backup doesn't know they weren't your first choice. GOOD LUCK!
2007-02-07 10:09:30 · answer #5 · answered by gin and juice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be nice to take the five friends to lunch and bring it up over lunch. Remember, this is an honor you're bestowing upon them, and likewise, an honor they'll be doing you. While you have them all present, it would be a good idea to discuss what you need their help with and set times to get together to look for dresses, shoe shop, etc. Let them know how you'll want them to wear their hair (unless you're willing to leave it up to them).
I take my girls to lunch every 4-6 weeks. We chit-chat and discuss details, set dates to get together for wedding errands. It's a lot of fun.
Congratulations
2007-02-07 13:49:17 · answer #6 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found a really funny picture of a wedding party in really ugly poofy bridesmaids dresses and used photo shop to stick my friends heads on the bodies of the bridesmaids in the picture. I printed them out on photo paper and on the back I wrote, "Will you be my bridesmaid" with the date of my wedding. They loved it!
2007-02-07 11:45:03 · answer #7 · answered by tigeri4263 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to ask them first.....you don't need to announce it to anyone. and why are you asking by phone? take the five you want to ask, out for coffee and dessert, and ask them all at the same time.
sisters, your sisters could act as your candle-lighters, that way they are in the ceremony and they get to be centre stage for the few moments while they place their candles by the unity candle which will please them. or they could play hostess, meeting guests at the church door and directing them to the ushers who will seat them, or they could seat them.
as for your sister that wants to be maid of honor, if you dont want her to be then you are just going to have to get up the courage to
explain to her that you have someone else you want to ask.
2007-02-10 21:08:50 · answer #8 · answered by tess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should just call them and ask them informally.
2007-02-07 11:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by WORLD FAMOUS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋