My Fiance's son is 18 Months old. I totally love him.. but the Mom- ughhh... She makes every little thing difficult as all hell. He has 50/50 custody, but somehow she thinks she should get special treatment with holidays... instead of switching every year. She feels like she should have him every Christmas Eve for her "family party" for 2 hours irreguardless.
She also makes it a point to call anytime there is a little problem... like running a temp of 100- because he is teething. Calling to ask how to calm him down because he wants his binki & we're in the process of winging him off. She even went as far as saying well if I can't give him his binki.. come & get him. So we agreed to go & get him.. and she changed her mind.
I just feel like we are never going to get past her.. and her lack of accountablility as an adult, and as a mother!
What to do? Any suggestions?
2007-02-07 09:50:42 · 10 answers · asked by Kelly Kaye 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
In the question I wrote above.. I forgot to mention that her having him every Christmas Eve puts a holt on our X-mas Eve events which are out of town visiting our families. Also, we all came to an agreement that it was time to take the binki away. I don't feel like I am being overly annpyed with her irrational phone calls. She told my Fiance' -well you don't even know if he is yours... and then later said she only said it as a result of him not signing the birth certificate immediately.
She calls and cries, and scream... saying she heard that my fiance' thinks I am a better Mother -which that is something he has never said. She calls when she has a break-up with a boyfriend..... etc
2007-02-07 13:18:30 · update #1
She is that baby's mom. She is going to be in your life forever. You have to get over it.
2007-02-07 09:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by sanj 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you're being insensitive. you should commend ur fiance for playing such a big role in his childs life despite the fact hes not with the mother. do u know how many single mothers wish their childs father was a phonecall away, its extremely rare. these parents need to work together on even the smallest aspects of this childs life, you will understand that when you have a child, you would want no less from your childs father wether or not you guys were in a relationship. so it's annoying, but thats what you deal with when you fall in love with a responsible man that has fathered a child with another woman. im sure hes irritated with her too, but hes doing what he thinks is necessary and i think hes right. dont you go huffing and puffing being another source of stress for your husband. suck it up. its a huge thing to ask but thats life. this baby is very young too. things will get better when the baby is older
2007-02-07 10:37:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, this is just something you have to deal with. It is a responsibility that you took on as soon as you found out he had a kid. I have been with my guy for about 7 yrs and he has a 9 yr old and things like this is what I have been dealing with. just remember that as the third wheel and not a parent of the child you have to step back and give in every once in a while. learn to pick your battles if you really love this guy.Hope everything works out for you!
2007-02-07 10:10:28 · answer #3 · answered by Leo_Woman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As hard as this may be.....you don't do anything. It's not your place. I understand that he's your fiance, but HE is the one that is going to have to get a handle on the situation. Seems to me that she is clearly threatened by your presence, especially since the two of you are getting married. She may be thinking 'why does he want to marry her and not me' & if that's the case she's probably intentionally trying to make your life miserable so that you'll leave him. DON'T LET HER WIN. Remain calm, cordial even. As the old adage goes "Kill her with kindness". Hope this helps.
2007-02-07 10:32:47 · answer #4 · answered by Lillian 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think u r the one causing the problems cause i dont think asking to have the child for 2 hours on christmas eve is asking for much at all its not like she wants him on christmas day. And as regards his binki he should be allowed to take it with him to his mothers.
2007-02-07 12:24:58 · answer #5 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell her she had a brain to make the choice to have a baby, so SHE has to take the responsibilities on having a baby, tell her to grow up and learn how to cope with what EVERY baby does....she needs to learn how to deal with consequences of having a baby, and split the holidays up EVENLY its only fair to both parents, it not right to give one parent more time with the child then the other.... just break it to her, or she will never learn or even realize that she is being immature untill somebody tells her she is being that way,,, in life, THE TRUTH HURTS... but its also good to you can change as a person.
2007-02-07 10:01:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
why get with someone with these problems it not good and she'll be ther eand he'll probaly go back to her millions of times as it sounds like that or he'll play house when and if he can when you are not around that happens alot. so honey get going and move as fast as you can in the opposite directon and find someone else.
2007-02-10 17:49:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The mother sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do.
2007-02-07 09:58:07 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
well if u love him u are going to have to deal with her...but u also can tell your b/f to set some ground rules so things can run smoothly
2007-02-07 10:20:42 · answer #9 · answered by taneshia027 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to date and marry someone with a kid, you have to learn to deal with it. She is his mom and is always going to be there. If she's call Daddy about things that are you going on with THEIR kid, then so be it. It's her right.
2007-02-07 10:26:43 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋