My gf has met my daughters' 18 and 15. My oldest thinks she is a great person, nice character, my 15 yr old doesn't have much to say. Do you think my gf is somehow insecure about invading thier space? Should I worry about this, do not get me wrong, my girls come first. Would children be a factor for some women?
2007-02-07 09:41:05 · 17 answers · asked by Phillip M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well i think that it will always be a factor for women. it just depends on the person for whether or not they are ok with it. your oldest sounds pretty good with the situation, but make sure your 15 year old is liking this new lady and is comfortable adjusting to this big change. you also need to talk to your gf and just come right out and ask her if there is any issue with u having kids. don't push her... just tell her you really want her to be honest with you. if she says she is ok with it, and seems to be making an effort to talk to and get along with your girls, she is probably pretty comfortable with the situation and will, in time, get to know your girls better and have a relationship with them as well. the most important thing though is to talk with each person and make sure you honestly know where they stand on this. from that, you will be able to make a good decision about how to handle everything.
2007-02-07 09:53:43 · answer #1 · answered by Sweetie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OF course children would be a factor, and you are the one who sets the pace for how much or little your gf "invades their space." You have to tell your gf what you want from her, if anything. Tell her, "It would be nice if you and my girls were friends and felt comfortable around each other." OR if you are more serious you say, "I hope one day you are close to my girls, they come first in my life and anyone I'm serious about will appreciate and respect that I take my role as father so important." You sound well spoken (written) so put it to use with your gf. Just remember, people don't change, not really, so if she's not that into your girls, and you talk to her asking her to become more involved, and she doesn't, then don't think she's going to change, keep talking, talking and talking....or keep her talking so that you know what's going on instead of guessing.
2007-02-07 17:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One reason can be because shes 15 at 15 they really dont like much or really know whats going on with your life all she might know is that you have a new g/f whos not her mom and somethings that can be hard for a teenager.
2nd reason your 18 year old is at that ag where shes growing in to a young lady and is look at points of views different. And can be happy for you and your g/f.....
And your girls do come 1st more than anything, but so do you...
As long as you let time pass everthing should work in you fav.
good luck!
2007-02-07 17:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children SHOULD be a factor for all women, if they don't like kids then they are not for you...if they do then that's half the battle. You say your girls come first.....first before what? Best be careful in that, at 18 and 15, they will soon be off to college and living their own lives......you have to have your life too.....
2007-02-07 17:45:57 · answer #4 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would love to take care of someone's kids. So having them isn't a factor for me, but obviously some would find that to be a factor. If it is,you need to find yourself another person who can appreciate being around your kids because they will always come first, and if she can't accept that, then why waste another minute with her. However, I do believe that you have to put the whole family first not just those lovely children.
2007-02-07 18:24:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some women may feel like a threat to come into a family give it time let her get to know the girls more if some time down the road things don't get better its time for the gf to go focus more on your 15 year old that is such a tender age and may i give you props on saying your girls come first good for you
2007-02-07 17:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah....the children should be a factor for any woman when she's getting involved with their father.
You're making too much of this.....and they don't have to like each other at this point.
Respect and being polite on both sides is enough for now.
2007-02-07 17:44:44 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every outsider who comes into a relationship whether it be male or female, is scared because you have to be delicate with the situation. If you're thinking bout marrying her then it will be a process but if you just dating her and its only been a few months don't let her get that close to your children unless you know all you want to know.
2007-02-07 17:47:18 · answer #8 · answered by khamylthadiva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately, some women view children as "baggage" Yes, your girlfriend might feel like she is invading their space, and your 15 year old might see her as the invader, your attention is split between them and your girlfriend.
2007-02-07 17:46:01 · answer #9 · answered by Steel Magnolia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes especially daughters, just do not let your children disrespect her tell them to always be polite, and as for her tell her never to correct your daughters because that is your job. I have seen this a lot I have two nieces that hate there stepmother, because she has tried to correct there manners that’s a big no, no. there father is coming to visit them this year they have asked him not to bring her along so he is leaving her at home that is not a good thing.
2007-02-07 17:50:28 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋