My best friend is a guy. For the past 6 or 7 months, we've both had feelings for each other. But 4 months ago, I said that I'd prefer not to ruin our friendship by starting an "official" relationship. He agreed that was a good idea, and it seemed like he genuinely meant it. But since then, we've spent a ton of time together (with the occasional dating-ish thing, like going ice skating in nyc or cuddling on the sofa). My feelings for him have only gotten stronger, but I didn't think to take back what I'd said, and he never made a move, either. So I thought we were both happy with how things were.
I was away this past weekend, and when I came back, I realized he was acting distant. And, well, I can read him like a book, so the truth soon came out. He felt too "attached" to me, and there was someone else he liked as well.
2007-02-07 09:13:51 · 9 answers · asked by Andre@ L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He said that he still wanted to be best friends with me, but he didn't want people asking about us dating all the time, cause he wanted the chance to have a real relationship with someone. He wanted to end the romantic-ish aspect of what we had, and yet said he still has feelings for me. He said it was too late to progress with us now, though, because I'd "only be doing it since there was a threat"
I've been a mess for the past two days. I'm regretting what I could have done, and I'm miserable that we're going to lose what we have while we still both like each other. I can't go back to being just friends with him, even though that was the whole point in the first place.
Any suggestions...?
2007-02-07 09:16:16 · update #1
I've already told him what I feel and he says he doesn't know what to say. Real helpful.
2007-02-07 09:21:00 · update #2
I think you should tell him exactly how you feel, how you wish you were more than just BF and that you're willing to try a "real" romantic relationship with him if it's not too late. You were only away for a weekend, it's not like he has a Girlfriend - just someone else who he may be interested in that way, so doesn't seem like telling him your true feelings and asking for a chance at a romantic relationship will be breaking up any longterm thing.
Be brave, be bold - tell him with all your heart how you feel. Is it a risk? Sure. But it's worth the risk. Life is meant to be lived, and one of the best ways to live is to love. Go for it girl!
2007-02-07 09:20:05 · answer #1 · answered by Marvelissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try using make-up and doing your hair nicely again? If like you said you really can't be bothered anymore, maybe your just going through a bit of a rough patch in your life, but I'm sure your life will pick up pretty soon. And really, you are beautiful. Everybody is. And I'm sure your boyfriend thinks the absolute world of you also, and your mates? They must think your fab. Go shopping with your best mate for some new clothes, it will make you feel confident, trust me :)
2016-05-24 04:12:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the two you had a friendship. You already had an official relationship. Cut the crap with all the semantic BS. You love the guy and you need to tell him that "I am in love with you". Plain, simple and the ball is in his court. This is a win-win situation if both of you want it. It is not an issue or question that is open to negotiation or interpretation. Nor is it in any way to be construed as a marriage proposal.
2007-02-07 09:26:59 · answer #3 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to move back into a group that will support and affirm you. You are still learning how some "good ideas" can backfire. Welcome to the school of hard knocks.
You have been living in a dilemma - "I want him, but not officially", That's not a tenable position. Better to be YES or NO. He finally figured out that he did not want to be dating someone who is so uncertain as to what she does or does not want. He moved on. You were left behind. Sorry, but it happens.
2007-02-07 09:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a move on him immediately before he moves on the other girl or you will regret it forever. He is acting distant because he does have feelings for you, but you said you didn't think you should be together, he may have agreed with you, but only because you brought it up and he didn't want to look stupid.
2007-02-07 09:18:14 · answer #5 · answered by MD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, you must really be an awesome person to be that honest with yourself. this is a very though situation, but i think you did the right thing by being friends, he still likes you, alot, he just wanted a more intense relationship. i really think that you should be very good friends because trustme, he will accept that, and your relationship will last forever. he stil loves you.
2007-02-07 09:26:56 · answer #6 · answered by lcoxhorns 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he only a guy, but it will hurt for a bit. just go out, have fun and meet new people. laugh. some advise would be to confide in a girlfriend of yours, or write in a diary. but get those feelings out, because its not safe to keep them trapped inside. if your luck does turn then he might decide to ask you out, but i wouldn't count on it.
good luck!
2007-02-07 09:22:22 · answer #7 · answered by blue print 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmph have no ideal but I suggest you keep it on a friendship level or you will regret it
2007-02-07 09:17:24 · answer #8 · answered by spiritualism0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
exercise
2007-02-07 09:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by MagicalPussy V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋