I'm really really shy!?

Question

I know this sounds stupid but I hate being so shy. It's my school prom soon and it will involve dancing but when dancing is involved, I'm just too shy to get up and actually dance. It's not just that, I have trouble talking to new people, and I'm kind of clumsey and blonde, and I suppose a bit ditzy and when I'm ditzy and shy together I just look a fool. I really want a career in the police force but my mum thinks I'm way too shy for that, but it's my ambition. I get shy over any little thing, and it really drains my confidence! How can I overcome this? Any advice is greatly appreciated. =]

Answer 1

It's all confidence, nothing more. You are shy because you lack confidence, and your lack of confidence makes you even more shy. You need to realize that most people don't judge you by what you look like, and don't remember every time you've said or done something stupid or silly. Deep down inside (or maybe not so deep) you probably look up to people who aren't as shy, because they aren't so shy! This probably makes talking to them all that much more intimidating.

Most importantly, BE YOURSELF. Not everyone is going to get along with you and like you, but many will. Don't be shy to show your personality because you think someone will judge you negatively. Do you like saying dorky things? Well, go ahead and say them.

Practice dancing, or get help from someone you know (even if you think you sound like an idiot asking for help, do it anyways). You're probably going to make a fool out of yourself until you practice dancing more, especially in public... but that's OKAY. Anyone who is going to truly judge you based on your ability to dance is probably not someone you should befriend anyways. You can also buy some dance music and practice dancing in your room.

For me, eventually I realized that a lot of my shyness was because I JUDGE PEOPLE, and was afraid that someone would judge me as much as I judge others.

As for your problems talking to new people, well, there aren't many people out there who are good at relating to people they know nothing about. Get a hobby or start doing something that you can discuss with others. The key is to have some of the same interests, watch the same TV shows, movies etc. Most importantly, DON'T WORRY ABOUT OTHERS JUDGING YOU, because they probably aren't judging you as much as you think.

It's a lot better to make an idiot of yourself than to make nothing of yourself.

GOODLUCK!! Not that you'll need it!

Answer 2

When I was in high school I was the same way... I didn't "know" how to dance so I never did... Now, my husband is a DJ and sometimes he hosts 16+ clubs, proms, etc. I'll go with him sometimes to help him out, and I realize now that I wasn't the only one out there that doesn't "know" how to dance. Watching these kids now that I've been out of school for years, they're not great dancers, either!!! They're just having fun.

Your first step to getting over your shyness should be going to the dance and do whatever feels good! I guarantee you that your peers are not watching you and they're not making fun of your dancing skills! Just have fun and that's all that matters.

After that, work on being more outgoing. Something as simple as being the first to say "hello" when passing by someone.

Just work towards your goal and you will do fine. Remember your ambition of being in the police force, and don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it!!!

Answer 3

I am also really shy. Here are a few things that I have found have helped me get over parts of it.

Put yourself in situations where you have to not be shy. I get really shy around lots of people so I have them over, I go to parties, I put my self in situations that make me have to be social.

I left home when I went to college. I moved 12 hours away and had to "re-invent" myself where no one knew me. This was really painful for the first 6 months though. So if this is nerve wracking for you then try something less drastic first! :)

Something that I have learned though is not to let anyone tell you what to do. If you want to be a police...you can. It will be good to put yourself out of that "rut" and try something new. I know that often police forces will take on students for the summer. Look into it with you school's guidance/career counsellor and see if that is what you really want to do.

Hope that helps.

Answer 4

Try doing an activity that you enjoy, that way you will meet other people and will slowly gain confidence.
For instance when you go to the shops and buy something for yourself, when you pay at the counter, start by saying has it been busy today or how has your day been. This will help you alot in the long run.
Dont lose all your shyness, because i have a soft spot for shy people and they can be very sweet!
Good luck

Answer 5

Shyness is not as easy to overcome as many would make you believe. Try this and see if it helps. As corny as this sounds, try talking to yourself in the mirror and make small conversation with yourself. The purpose of this is to talk with ease to somebody you already know....yourself. Next, try to engage in more frequent conversation with your family at home like mom dad, siblings, what ever. Then, take it 1 person at a time with new people at school. Remember try to take it 1 person at a time. When I tried getting over my shyness, especially with girls, I just jumped into crowds of people and failed miserably. Trust me it was not a good experience. Take a few weeks to experiment with this and lemme know how it works!

Answer 6

Try getting a makeover... if you think you look better you'll wanna show it off and your confidence will rise

also try speaking in front of a group of people- maybe family and friends... or take a Communications class at your school

Answer 7

Practicing some breathing exercises help a lot for depression, worry, stress, fears, insecurities, anger, anxieties, loneliness, & for all unwanted emotional states, etc.
Mindfulness of Breathing exercises:
1) Be in a comfortable position, whether sitting
or lying down.
2) Have someone watch your other children for
about 10 or 15 min. [Increase in time, after practicing for a month].
Then close your eyes, and concentrate
totally on your breathing.
3) At the end of your first inhalation of oxygen,
count one. Keep doing this until you get to
ten. Remain patient with yourself.
4) Then focus your attention on breathing only
through your nostrils, which filter out all
the things, which are not healthy to breath
into your lungs. Be aware of the various
sensations through your nostrils, while you
continue the counting. When you get to
ten, start again at one.
5) When a distracting thoughts enters your mind
allow them to pass through {your mind], w/out
analyzing them, or judging them, or trying to fix them.
And then gently, patiently bring your full
attention back to your breath. Every time,
a distracting thought {any thought which
would take your attention of your breath),
comes to your mind, you need to use this
skillful, disciplinary method of bring it back.
Thoughts do come into our minds, especially
worrisome , or pressing thoughts
which dictate to us that we have an anxious mind.
Just be patient w/yourself, and keep practicing.
**"There is already proven evidence of the
Success of The Mindfulness of Breathing
exercises Proven by Dr. Jon Kabat-ZinnPhD
and by many other Dr.s and Scientists as
well. Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD. has a book
out called, "Coming to Our Senses' which
teaches this. *There is also a book called, " The
Beginner's Guide to Insight Meditation"
by: Arinna Weisman & Jean Smith is most
Excellent also.*” Insight meditation is a higher
form of The Mindfulness of Breathing exercises, which
greatly help us to accurately, & clearly see things as they really are!! It's really helpful.
For some it may be necessary to take a mild anti-depressant, or to pray to a god for strength, or confidence, or comfort. If this helps you deal with stress, anxiety, depression, etc. Then practice this also. Use whatever methods which help you or combine them, to receive Most help.
I practice mindfulness of breathing to reduce stress, providing insight into life. It is Great !
P.S. - the mindfulness of breathing helps with anger a lot too. Reading the book: "Working with Anger.” by: Thubten Chodron will help if you experience occasional anger/are under the influenceof anger or hatred often. I use to get impatient, intolerant, and angry toward those who criticize, harshly judge, or condemn other people for having different beliefs. I found that
Working with anger – helped a great deal. Be very Patient with Yourself, and continue the practice of the Mindfulness of Breathing daily. Even if your at first, only able to commit to 10 min. a day. "This meditative practice, the mindfulness of breathing exercises are what Medical Doctors, Psychiatrists, most Psychologists and especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapists teach their patients to help them intelligently to control symptoms of depression, anxieties, insecurities, bipolar, adhd, worries, loneliness, And for many people who are pessimistic in life, as well as many other unwanted mental and emotional states. Check out the books I have suggested to you. I have full confidence in you as you practice The Mindfulness of Breathing daily.

Answer 8

pretend you're not. if you're embarassed by your shyness just pretend you're not. go out and talk to people, if you mess up, make fun of yourself and don't let the little things get to you. if you get nervous, laugh it off. you'll be fine. you're in control of you. if you don't want to be shy anymore you have to train yourself not to be anymore. and the sooner the better because if you're going off to college soon you're going to want to get rid of your shyness right quick.

i used to be shy, in fact sometimes in certain situations i still am. then i found somebody who made me break out of my shell. once you accept who you are and stop caring about what other people think the better off you'll be. take chances, live your life. i missed out on some important moments because i was so shy. never again.
good luck

Answer 9

The dancing thing first! If you take lessons you will be more confident about your dancing.

Answer 10

Just drink a jigger of rye whiskey before the dance starts. Continue as needed.