I'm 24 years old and my family comes to me with everything. I'm planning to move to Europe later this year but it will never happen with all the demands my family has for me. How can I help certain members of the family become more independent and self-reliant?
2007-02-07 08:54:48 · 10 answers · asked by OhKatie! 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They will become independent and self-reliant when you move to Europe and they have to be independent and self-reliant; and they will. Meanwhile, don't figure out their problems for them...when they ask you, turn it around and ask them what they think they should do.
2007-02-07 09:19:33 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When they ask you how to handle a given situation, turn the question back to them "What do you think you should do?"
If it is a financial problem, just tell them that you are not able to help them out anymore --and offer to help them think of ways to deal with it themselves.
If it a lot of little things that you do for them --- transportation, fixing things around the house, making appointments for them,etc ----just say "no"!!! Tell them that you just are not able to help them with it anymore.
Family members get used to the idea that you are "always there for them" and forget that you have a life of your own. You need to remind them that you have some things that YOU need to do for YOU.
In most cases, I think they will just find someone else to do things for them and advise them.
Don't miss an opportunity to move to Europe because your family thinks they "need " you. In time, they will realize that they don't need you to do everything for them.
2007-02-07 10:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, this type of situation is called co-dependence. You have been allowing them to come to you to fix and manage everything, and this has gotten out of control. Google "co-dependence" and check out what the signs of this are, and how to disengage yourself from your family's reliance on you for everything. Moving to Europe will be a good start, but you must be vigilant and not let them suck you back into this pattern.
2007-02-07 10:31:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting your first job will help you a whole lot to become independent. You will be out of the house,earning your own money and making your own decisions as to how you spend it. When you have a good income, you may feel different about moving out. You are still quite young, so don't rush it. Just keep yourself moving toward that goal.
2016-05-24 04:07:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every time you help them, they will become more attached to you, and they will ask for more.
By keep being there every time they need you, you are enhancing this pattern in them.
Move to Europe as you planned and they will learn how to manage their life and take control.
2007-02-07 09:41:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them know how you are feeling. Tell them that you are feeling extremely pressured and tell them you would like them to slowly ease off of you because it will be extremely different for them when you move away. Have fun in Europe!:)
2007-02-07 09:00:02 · answer #6 · answered by iluvmyself676 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them they are big people and have done things for them self for a long time before you came of age.. tell them to grow up and that you'll support them and love them but you cant handle every aspect of their life your whole life.. good luck being open and honest will go along way who knows you'll earn their respect too...
2007-02-07 09:00:42 · answer #7 · answered by tlcoufan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the move to europe that way they will have to fend for themselves.
2007-02-07 12:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to tell them no when they start making demands, make it clear you have your life to live and you're going to do just that.
2007-02-07 09:42:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let them no
2007-02-07 09:59:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋