When I was 14, (I'm 25 now) I was raped in school. I never saw his face and was so ashamed and embarrassed, I never reported it. I also never told my family. I've suffered through depression and finally saw a counselor for the trauma. I'm often accused of being a drama queen when reacting strongly to stories of rape on the news or implied rape in movies or t.v. shows. So, basically, how do I tell them now? Should I even tell them?
2007-02-07 08:38:36 · 13 answers · asked by arwen1081 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I told them! I brought my counselor to the house and told them. They were upset that I didn't tell them, but I do feel better having said something. I want to thank ya'll who gave me support.
2007-02-09 01:18:34 · update #1
It surprises me that they haven't figured it out by now. There's one very specific trigger for your drama- rape story themes- and they haven't picked up on this?
I don't know what that means in the real world, because I was a psych major and all, and certainly most peole don't see things through my periscope... but that sounds like they'd rather have you comply with their ideals of behavior than notice who you really are. Maybe that's why you never told them to begin with- they want as close to picture-perfect as possible.
Or maybe I'm TOTALLY off-base.
But, it's food for thought.
Good luck, dear.
I'm so glad you took care of yourself, and are continuing to do so.
2007-02-07 08:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have told them before. There is and WAS no reason for you to feel ashamed. You have been through something that most people only hear about. I don't think you are a drama queen at all. It makes perfect sense why you would react like that. I suggest that you first tell the person you are closest to in your family. Then maybe you will be able to tell everyone else, or not. It's your choice who you want to tell. Good luck.
2007-02-07 17:30:38 · answer #2 · answered by Yay me!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit down with your parents and explain to them what happened. Use the way that people call you a drama queen for the way you react ot stories of rape as a way to open up the topic and just let them know you have a reason for the way you act that way. It will be tough, but you'll feel better to have it out in the open and then you can begin the healing process. Remember that you have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of and stay strong.
2007-02-07 16:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Just D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is you never told anyone what happened because you were ashamed, confused, embarassed, and thought you did something wrong, You probably feel like your family will look at you differently. You did nothing wrong. You are a victim and reacting strongly to rape images probably brings you right back to your incident, which can lead to post traumatic stress disorder. Have you considered talking this over with a counselor? Telling your family is going to be hard because they are going to feel badly that you were hurt and they couldn't have helped you. They are going to wonder if you trust them. I think you should tell them when you are ready, but it sounds like you are not sure yet how to do that. Consider talking it over with someone who is not related to you, perhaps a counselor, clergy member, nurse, doctor, etc.
2007-02-07 16:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by tepjoule 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be asking your counselor about this. He/she may not think it's the right thing to do. Sometimes, telling people things like this--when there is nothing anyone can do---is just going to upset them. You need to work with your therapist so that you don't get all dramatic over things--even other women being raped. It is a horrible thing and I hope all rapists get what they deserve. I was molested when I was 9 and I never told anyone. I have learned that I can only blame HIM for that and it cannot control my life. He died a horrible death a few years later. See---God took care of that for me.
2007-02-07 16:46:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really tough. If I were in your shoes I think I would want my family to know. Even though it was a long time ago it's obviously still affecting you. They will understand and be supportive and that's what you need. Keep in mind they may also be angry for you not telling them when it happened. Just sit them down, talk to them and answer their questions. You may want to have a therapist/counselor there with you. Good luck.
2007-02-07 16:48:56 · answer #6 · answered by lonestar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit them down and tell them. You'll feel so much better! Of course you know I'm going to say you should of told someone, but that's the past. Continue with the present and seek help. You'll be glad you did.
2007-02-07 16:42:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. What a terrible secret to keep all these years. But now you are older and you can put this into context as an adult. Keep getting counseling. Perhaps tell one person first and then others. You will be fine. I will pray for you.
2007-02-07 18:21:50 · answer #8 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arwen, tell your family. You should not have to keep this secret from them anymore -- and it sounds like you want to tell them and have already been to a counselor. At the very least, tell your mother and father.
2007-02-07 18:41:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow..That's some secret to keep. I really think if your already thinking about telling your family then you should. I don't know anything about your relationship with them or anything but you seem to be think ing about it so much that maybe if you tell them you'll stop worrying about it....
Good Luck and Stay Strong
2007-02-07 16:49:29 · answer #10 · answered by TD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋