Baptising my Son as a Catholic "unique" situation...?

Question

I have a "unique" situation. The father of my unborn son is still married (seperated, but not legally seperated) he also has two children with his wife so the marriage cannot be easily annulled. He is now saying that when our son is born (Due March 17,2007) that he wants him baptised Catholic as he was. I do not have a religion so he told me I will have to go through the steps to convert into the Catholic religion.
I do not see how there is any possible way my son can become Catholic if 1) His father is married to another woman 2) I am not Catholic 3) he was conceived and will be born out of wedlock.

Answer 1

First of all you cannot be forced to convert. RCIA classes is what you would have to join and this is an entire year of study and you would have to complete the sacraments which I would find you to be an unethical person if you did this on false pretenses. These sacraments are for those who love God and Jesus and have every intentions of living their lives in his church. Secondly, it is very hard to get a baby baptised in the Catholic church out of wedlock. I have heard of priests denying it. I know of one such couple who got married in the church but because of the timing of when their firstborn came no one was sure of the conception date and their priest said he could not baptize the babe. Secondly, if the two timer wanted to marry you, not only would both of you have to go through classes but he would have to get an anullmenet. His present situation also calls for that fact that if his priest knew all he would not be allowed to participate in ANY sacraments such as communion. Then you have the situation of God Parents. These have to be two people that are ACTIVE in the Catholic church and have to get a recommendation and be approved to be allowed to serve as such. You need to truly look at your situation and maybe just start over on your own with this new life. God gave you this gift and you have to decide for yourself how you want to raise it and continue with your life. This new life and questions of faith may be God leading you home to him. Go speak to a priest, ask for help and counseling. I will pray for your situation and your babe.

Before I go I want to make sure you do realize that baptism is your oath and PROMISE to God to raise him/her in his church and it is the oath of the God parents to make sure you live up to your oath.

Answer 2

I am very impressed with your concern for your child and his father. But you are rather quiet about what you want.

+ Baptism +

I believe that the Church will baptize your child if you, the father, and the godparents promise to bring the child up as a Catholic. Please take this promise seriously.

The Church does not hold the child responsible for the acts of the parents.

Talk to a priest in your local parish.

+ Joining the Catholic Church +

You do not have to convert. However the best way to bring a child up as a Catholic is to live as one.

If you are interested in joining or just learning more about the Catholic Church, contact your local parish and ask about information about their RCIA Inquiry group.

You can go and ask any questions you want.

This is the first step in RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) but you can stop at any time.

There is no obligation to become a Catholic.

+ Declarations of Nullility +

The Catholic Church believes that God does not recognize civil divorces.

Jesus said, "Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate." (Mark 10:9)

However there may be hope of a declaration of nullity.

The term "annulment" is a misnomer because the Church does not undo or erase a marriage bond.

Rather the Church issues a declaration of nullity when it discovers that the parties were not truly joined by God and hence a full spiritual sacramental marriage as understood by the Church was not present.

Then the parties are free to marry for the first time.

The procedure is the same whether or not there are children in the marriage. If a declarations of nullity is granted then the children are still considered legitimate and retain all legal rights (Canon 1137).

Approach the appropriate person your in your parish who has been trained in the process. If you encounter difficulties, you may go directly to the diocese.

Be prayerful, honest and patient. It takes a while.

+ With love and prayers in Christ.

Answer 3

>>I do not see how there is any possible way my son can become Catholic if 1) His father is married to another woman 2) I am not Catholic 3) he was conceived and will be born out of wedlock.<<

None of those, in and of themselves, bar him from being baptized Catholic, and you don't have to convert. What the Church does require, however, is that "there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism is to be delayed according to the prescripts of particular law after the parents have been advised about the reason." (Canon 868.1.2)

Answer 4

You are absolutely right, the father hasn't got the right to ask for your baby to be catholic, if he wants the baby christened, he can marry you, give the child his last name and divorce his wife.
He can't get an annulment, the marriage was consummated and he has children, therefore he has to make the decision for a divorce and do the right thing, marry you and then he can demand Catholicism for his son. In the meantime, you just cannot go and become a catholic, it doesn't work like that.
In the end its up to him to do what's right.

Answer 5

It's another way of saying "let it go". I believe that bitterness and non forgiveness eats us all up in the end. It provokes pain and anger within ourselves and we become trapped in a world of inner pain. By giving a situation to God, it's releasing you from the pain and hurt of that particular situation and allowing you to live more peacefully. God is supposed to take our pain and suffering away. I would say something like this needs to be accompanied by the odd prayer. Mainly for the strength to understand and have the wisdom (which is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit at confirmation) to carry out this "art" of forgiving and moving on peacefully. Sorry if I can't explain myself very well... I too am a Catholic but am struggling at present to embrace my faith. Perhaps I could do with a prayer or two thrown up for me!!! I hope this helps a little. x

Answer 6

There is really no Biblical reason to have you son baptized into the Catholic church. The Bible does not teach infant baptism. It is something that would probably be allowed nowadays in the Catholic church, but you guys have really got a messed up situation. If you really want what is best for your new son, raise him in a good God-fearing home and take him to church to learn about Christ. Then, when he is old enough to understand it all, he can make his own choice to follow Christ or not. Baptizing him as a child give him a false sense of security about his spiritual condition. Just because he is baptized into the Catholic church does not grant him access into heaven. He must have a personal relationship with Christ. From what you have told us, if your son does accept Christ into his life at a later time, I really doubt he will bump into his father on the streets of heaven, unless his father changes his ways and repents of his wrongdoing. You also need to take a deep look into your spiritual condition.

Answer 7

Hi Kassie, I see how you are troubled about this, you are under pressure, you will read a lot of other peoples opinions here but in the end to really find the proper answers to your questions you really need to talk to a Priest yourself, you can go along to the local Catholic church and ask to speak with the Parish Priest, honestly this is the safest way for your peace of mind.

Answer 8

If the father is not part of the childs life, he has no right to determine how the child will be raised.

If you yourself are not catholic, and the father is not in the child's life, the child should not be baptised catholic. If you do wish to baptise the child catholic, you should become catholic yourself.

All of the sins involved are forgiven the moment you renounce them and repent unto god. No one will make an issue of your origins nor ask large lump sums for 'forgiveness'. Forgiveness and absolution are freely dispensed to all.

Speak with the nearest Catholic church's priest for further guidance. You will find in him a non-judgemental man who will not cast you out, but will welcome you home like the prodigal son was welcomed home

Answer 9

As a Christian, I do not believe in infant baptism anyway, but I would say if he is not following his faith (he had a baby out of wedlock with a woman who is not his wife) then he really should be able to force you to be something you are not, and he shouldnt force that religion (which he obviously doesnt really care about) on his baby.

Answer 10

yeah, i wouldn't get your hopes up. the only way that you might be able to do this is by paying a large sum of money to a church for some reason which is just a front for the fact that they want money. the catholics aren't too keen on children out of wedlock, divorce, and adultery, so i wish you lots and lots of good luck if this is what you are into. however, you shouldn't just get your kid baptized because that is what you are "supposed to do" - you should believe and practice it or it will only be more difficult for you with the church.