Doesn't my b/f love me enough to move in with me to be proper family?

Question

i'm single parent with 4 kids, youngest 9 months is from relationship i'm in now, been with bf 2 years.I've asked him few times when hes going to move in the last 6 months hes been saying once we're bit straight paying our debts off which r nearly done but recently told me not moving in as work is really slack last few months and we won't be able to manage living , told me he won't sign on jobseekers as never bothered signing on when no work b4.. comes round every day to see me and kids but will I be waiting forever as when self employed you've periods of work and then hardly no work at all... dunno if he's not ready of commitment or he really cares for me as told me lately if I don't want relationship like this I just come round few times every week to see my son .. he lives with his dad always has done not been in serious relationship this long before . He very good with my other kids takes them out etc I've even mention to him i'll work parttime when baby year old to help

we're both in our mid 30's so surely he should know wot he wants

Answer 1

He is a rat....he wants the family and single life..give him an ultimatum..he either moves in with you or he can go to hell.

Answer 2

There is something to be said about not moving foward in the relationship until you are financially stable. the number one reason couples and marriages break up is fighting over money.

What confuses me is Where are you guys living now? If you are both living in seperate apartments or houses it would actually probably save you money to move in together and consolidate your costs of living.

He seems very commited to you and your family so you might want to give him a little slack. What i would do is ask him to sit down with you and make a pro/con list for moving in together now. That way you can see what his issues are with moving in together and you can illuminate the posatives for him. Maybe that way you can more productively move towards making him more comfortable moving in.

Answer 3

Your boyfriend sounds scared. It's one thing to have a child that you will accept responsibility for, but another to play house and take on another adult (you mentioned you aren't working) and 3 additional children. I am not being mean or judgmental as I am a divorced, single mom of 5 myself. My boyfriend, who also has a child, wants to move in with me, but there is a lot to consider besides love. We are discussing expectations on housecleaning, cooking, bills, discipline for the kids, etc.

I think your boyfriend realizes all of this is a lot to consider. I am guessing you guys are probably in your 20s, which makes it even scarier for you both. Instead of worrying about being a "proper family" discuss the good and bad about your relationship, personal and relationship goals, education goals, work goals, etc. Good luck.

Answer 4

He dosen't want to move in with you!
He isn't ready to take on another mans three kids and has told you that he will come to see his boy only a few times a week.
Hon, wake up and smell the coffee! He's virtually told you in so many different ways that this is as good as you're gonna get.
Move on baby. He is just marking time.
Good luck.

Answer 5

Dump the selfish b.astard as you'll do better on your own. This guy is a selfish scum bag and not interested in taking on the responsibility of you and yours. He just wants the best of both worlds. Do you know where he is 24 hours a day? No, because he's probably out making more babies.

Answer 6

hes probably just scared, moving in together is such a big step and maybe he just wants to be sure before he does. if you keep asking him, he will just get fed up of hearing it!

Answer 7

it is cheaper to live together, no reason to pay two rents. you can watch another child at your home to help with the money