Death in my family?

Question

Yesterday morning my great aunt died and I need to know if how I'm feeling is acceptable.

My dad's family is close but not really close. That being said my great aunt raised my dad and helped raise me when I was very young. Because of this I have always thought of her as a grandma. When my sister and I were called yesterday to tell us she had passed away, we thought that we would be notified of things like when/if the funeral and all the doing would be held. We hadn't heard anything by late last night, so my mom called my dad today to find out what was going on. She then called me and said there wasn't going to be a funeral because she is going to be cremated but something special in the future. That was fine but then she told me that my dad's family is getting together this afternoon and pretty much we are not invited. After my mom told me that I felt really heartbroken.

How would you feel if this happened with your family?

I think I should clear some things up. You are right I don't live with my dad, but I am 21 and am married. I don't want anything of hers just want to be there for her husband, children, and grandchildren.

Thank you for the condolences. It wasn't expencted but not all that unexpected either. She was hospitalized over the weekend because she having diabetes complications.

Answer 1

Death causes three things to happen in families Greediness is one, but it brings out the worst character flaws and it can also bring out the best in our loved one. Seem to me the ones who have not invited you could be worried about what you might want of hers or even be just jealous of the relationship and love she showed to you, but not to them. You do not need to have a service to love her memory and you have all the good memories. remember that.
Move on and let it go, that would make you lost loved one so proud of your strength to do so.
Tracylyn S

Answer 2

First of all let me say I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.
Now call your Dad. Start off by telling him how much your great aunt meant to you and ask him how is he doing...then play by his reaction. If he still doesn't invite you over, politely ask him why you and your sister were not asked to be present. Remember to be the person your great aunt would want you to be. Keep her memory alive in your heart and I hope all of this is just an oversight.

Answer 3

This is one of the unfortunate things that happens when parents divorce. It fractures the whole family. Since your great aunt helped raise both your dad and you, it was thoughtless of your dad to not include you in his family's getting together. I hope your mother will take you when there is a memorial for her in the future.

Answer 4

I would feel the same way.

It seems as though you don't live with your dad. So, there may be some resentment on the side of your dad's family.

If it's not to late, call whom ever is handling her affairs and see if it would be alright for you to be at the get-together as well as a special service later.

Answer 5

I would feel hurt too. Maybe the adults are gathering to discuss some issues about finances and her estate (her stuff and any legal issues about her stuff). And sometimes, when there is a death in a family people are caught up in their own grief and overlook others. I'm sure it was nothing personal! If you feel you should be there, then go.

Answer 6

I would of felt the same as you. I would call and speak with my dad and ask him why? Let him know how hurt you are to have been left out, because you loved her and will miss her too. You can go to your own church and have a mass said there too.

Answer 7

i would feel very hurt and let down im very sorry for your loss i know what you going through my grandma died in october x x