I need help with putting up with my new mother-in-law. I am engaged to her youngest son, we have been for about 14 months now. We have been together for about three years. I live with my fiance and his mother in a small apartment. Her and I don't get along and she drives me up the walls. She takes time away from me and my fiance, she doe nothing but complain about everything, and she has even gone around to people and said that I am lazy and stuck up. I just don't know what to do anymore because it's coming between me and my fiance and our relationship. I don't know whether to move out until I can find a job and we can both save up some money of our own and get a place. But she tells him that she's going to sell everything she has and jump in a lake if we move out. She puts him on guilt trips and then never spends time with him on the holidays. I don't want to hurt his feelings because she has nowhere to go, she's a widow now., but this has got to stop. We can't have a life of our own!
2007-02-07 08:16:55 · 10 answers · asked by februaryphil 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
MOVE OUT! it will only get worse if you stick around to take more abuse. you and your fiancee need to get a place on your own. she won't jump in any lake! she tries to stay in control of the last of her children, sees that she is failing and now resorts to passive-aggressive manipulation. move out! take your fiancee with you as soon as you two can afford it. good luck!
2007-02-07 08:34:12 · answer #1 · answered by gabriela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out of the relationship now, while it won't involve a divorce, because that is where your marriage is headed. Your fiance is a mama's boy, and there is nothing good in that. He should want to be a man, and have his time for the two of you. Since he has other siblings, there are obviously other places she could go, but your guy isn't really forcing the issue.
Pack your things and move on - you will be so very glad you did
2007-02-07 08:53:44 · answer #2 · answered by buggsnme2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take control away from the N-Law. She is a marter who uses guilt to get her way. I would move out and start saving for your own place. If she threatens to jump in a lake, ask her if she would need a ride to get there. LOL
I had an N-Law like this, You have to be rude and assertive to gain the control in your relationship. If you BF will not comply to assist you in this, then you may want to rethink if you really wanna Mama's boy for a husband or a man who will cleave to you and not mom/
Tracylyn S
2007-02-07 08:45:00 · answer #3 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's awfully hard to unscramble eggs. The mistake was when you moved in with her. (I assume the home is hers since she's threatening to sell everything if you move). She may be having a problem adjusting to both widowhood and the idea of her son leaving home. You and your fiance will get off to a rocky start if you don't have space of your own. However, having said that, you'll have a rocky relationship if you don't find a way to be on good terms with HIS MOTHER. He may think she's difficult but he isn't going to want to hear it from you. Where a future mother-in-law is concerned, walk very very softly!!
2007-02-07 08:43:37 · answer #4 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's see been engaged for 14 months and have been together for 3 years. I don't mean to be rude, but, why don't you have your own place already? Does you fiance work?
That being said, he has siblings, let them share the responsibility of looking after their mother.
But, it does not look good for your future. If he hasn't cut the umbilical cord yet, he probably won't any time soon.
2007-02-07 09:02:11 · answer #5 · answered by deepndswamps 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's very hard to have a relationship when mommy is under the same roof. what i would suggest you do is move out, and that way when you, and your man want to spend time together you can, under your own roof. if he does not break free from mom after about 3 months, i would say that you will have to let him go because obviously there is no room in his life for 2 women, and he has chosen who he wants to be with. sorry.
2007-02-07 08:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by lidakamo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriends mum somewhat annoys me! before i might desire to deal with it yet now it somewhat get's to me (i've got progressed an exceedingly short fuse) She consistently asks me questions, which she later repeats so before each little thing I answer them and then the 2d third 4th or 5th time she asks I only say i don't be attentive to or have not theory yet! She consistently asks me if she seems nicely and that i consistently only say "yeah you look superb why?". there is not something incorrect along with her she seems the comparable as she did as quickly as I met her 4 a million/2 years in the past! in no way asks how i'm, or the newborn! i think of it is only the being pregnant hormones yet your unquestionably not on my own.
2016-09-28 13:41:56 · answer #7 · answered by linnon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not have to put up with anything
You didnt say old you and your fiancee are?
It seems like his mom is having a hard time letting go...... and guilt trips are as bad as one lets them be.....
She need to be gently yet firmly told that he loves her....
I am assuming he does ....
And that if she still wants to be in his life then she needs to back off some...
and he needs to talk to her not you.....maybe later you all could sit down together but right now he needs to have a heart to heart with her
Having a son who will be 18 soon I know the emotional pain a mom feels letting go and seeing her "boy" become a man..... But as a man I expect him to be one and as his mom I will let go....
2007-02-07 08:30:49 · answer #8 · answered by dreamingone39 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight you live with her. You are engaged to a guy who lives with his mother and can not afford a place of his own. You have more then mother in law problems. Think you should move out and you and your fiance should support yourselves instead of mooching off of his mother and then having the nerve to bad mouth her.
2007-02-07 09:45:28 · answer #9 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should go on dr phil!! he rules at helping in these types of situations.
2007-02-07 08:45:51 · answer #10 · answered by SZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋