My gf & I have been dating for 2 ½ years. Lately she has said we spend too much time together. She has just graduated from college & is working full time. When we started dating we where seeing each other everyday, but she worked in retail & had school too. Now I'm the only one she really interacts with. I told her I don’t mind if she goes out w/friends. I know she needs space. She said she’s not really happy in the relationship; it’s gotten boring, she said she still loves me, she said sometimes it’s like we’re dating “out of habit”, & we’re not attracted to each other (I’m very attracted to her, she’s all I can think about). She said she’s thinking long term. She knows if we were to get married she would not be just marrying me but, my family. Our families come for 2 completely diffnt. social & economic bkgrnds & I think that scares her. She said she doesn't nessealy want to end it. I love her & want to be with her. i have planed a getaway next weekend. What can I do?
2007-02-07 07:51:28 · 18 answers · asked by mark j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop being a wussy and catering to her wants and needs. She needs a man who's going to act like a man. She wants a man who is a leader, not a follower... someone who decides what he's going to do and does it - who doesn't stop what he's doing to make sure she's feeling okay. Get some balls, man.
2007-02-07 07:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by LGT 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe get out and try new things more on your own or together so that she sees that you are searching for more too and aren't just complacent or stuck in old habits. keep experiencing new things and you will continue to discover new things about eachother. Maybe you can find something new to do while you are away for the weekend? A hot air balloon ride, an amusement park, a cooking class, etc.
give her space if she needs it. if she is feeling penned in she needs room to breathe and you should support her by giving it to her. if you are meant to be she will see that you are doing what she asks and also will miss you if you aren't available every single second. have confidence in yourself - and please try to remember that this is just a piece of the story, if she decides not to be with you right now, that doesn't mean you won't meet again in the future when she feels more settled and happy.
2007-02-07 08:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Great plan with the get away! When you take her with you make it perfect, make some of her fav. things, whatever she likes, get something for her that means a lot to her, you need to make her understand how much you love her and she is THE one for you... second, yeah that could be a problem taht she is scared of the family, well make it clear with her that she will be marrying YOU and only you, and your family will be part of your life but she will be your family! And try to talk to her and make her understand that your family has nothing to do with the life you two can have! ( if that is true, I dont know your situation, is your family a lot in your bussiness? do they bother you a lot or being nosy?) you need to talk to her, that is the only way to make her understand that eveything will be fine and she has nothing to wrry about! If you let her loose it might not be a good idea and she might be shifted to someone else or find another guy! Good luck, and remember the communication is the key to all the problems! she needs to be able to trust in you, and your future together! the get away is a PERFECT thing you are doing! :) best wishes and good luck.
2007-02-07 07:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by Scorpio Girl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's clear that you love her very much, and I see that the best way to 'save' this relationship from breaking up is for you to perhaps give her a little space. Now, I don't mean sitting down and telling her you are giving her space, I mean SHOW her. Start organising nights out with your friends, things like that - just don't be so available to her.
People take for granted that which is always present - that's why diamonds are so precious! So remove your availability and get out and have some fun without her - this will allow her the space she's asking for, and also allow you to find your own individual needs.
TRUST me on this!
2007-02-07 07:57:53 · answer #4 · answered by iliketorideigohago 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey man, That sucks...
But, I think you're on the right track with planning a getaway.
I know that she said she said you spend too much time together, but instead of disapearing, I'd just make sure that you are DOING ACTIVITIES together. Like instead of "hanging out at my place" go dancing, or find something that is fun for both of you, and her/your friends aswell.
Activites make life so much more exciting.
2007-02-07 07:58:52 · answer #5 · answered by ashton sanders 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is going to be harsh... sounds like she's looking to explore the world without you. She's told you flat out she's not happy, she wants her freedom and is probably more scared about the thought of being commited/married when there's so much Life left to live. Her saying 'we're not attracted to each other' is her saying SHE'S not attracted to you anymore, and is ready to move on.
Again, this is harsh, but she's said it all... time to cut your losses and find a woman who knows how to treat a man.
2007-02-07 07:58:02 · answer #6 · answered by o b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give her some space to figure out what she wants. Maybe her job is stressing her out and she's taking it out on you and doesn't mean to. My husband's family and mine came from to different backgrounds and we are married and doing good. Reinsure her that your attracted to her and your not dating out of habit. The getaway is a good idea maybe that's all you two need is sometime alone together.
2007-02-07 07:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Too much time together after 2 1/2 years? What is she going to do if she ever gets married? Sounds like she's making excuses. She sounds like she wants to end things, but doesn't have the heart to. I suggest you tell her what you told us.
2007-02-07 07:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by Groovy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's what happens when they go to college. As soon as my first husband got his masters degree basically it was all over. He just thought he new everything and that his ideas and answers were the only ones that counted and it just got fricken boring. Just try to be romantic with her and maybe this will give you guys some time to re kindle things. Good luck.
2007-02-07 07:59:32 · answer #9 · answered by Jacuzzi Lover 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she might have met someone else. If funny how for 2 1/2 years, nothing about the families mattered.
2007-02-07 07:55:07 · answer #10 · answered by marisanj 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋