i've got a guy i worked with and was friends with a few years ago coming to visit me. he and i were never dating - but the last day we both lived in the same city we ended up in bed. we've stayed in contact - a few conversations a year, emails, etc, and he's still the fun guy i had fun with back then. i don't have big feelings for him, don't even know how attracted to him I'd be after these past few years, but my question is - how irresponsible is it for me to have him visit without knowing what his expectations are? We joke and flirt and all that, but also talk about who we're dating,etc. I don't want him to visit if the reason he's actually buying the ticket is for some gauranteed action, but I don't know if it's worth it to mention it beforehand... since we only crossed that line once.
would you get mad if you visited and it turned out i was not going to hop into bed? or is it more likely that you too would not know what to expect?
2007-02-07 07:41:35 · 6 answers · asked by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To clarify - it's not that i worry about saying no - I can handle that. I just want to be fair. he is a friend after all! I guess i just need to bite the bullet and throw it into conversation.
2007-02-07 08:06:52 · update #1
Wow I mean I am just a kid full of chivalric ideas and all, but this is a pretty personal decision, and in the end it is you who should make the decision, not your worries about how he will feel.
Oh, and if he really is a nice guy he will wait, and will come back to catch up with an old friend because he enjoys being around you (not just sleeping with you)
2007-02-07 07:58:50 · answer #1 · answered by El Jefe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no obligation to sleep with the guy. If he suggests that you do, ask if what gave him that idea. The burden should be on him. But if you want to broach the subject beforehand you're welcome to do so.....maybe you could tell him in a joking manner that you hope he's not just visiting for a 'booty call.' He may still think that's what going to happen....but you don't have to accommodate him. Good Luck
2007-02-07 07:46:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If neither of you are in a relationship, just go with the flow. If he didn't expect a physical relationship with you in the past, it shouldn't suddenly be an issue bc of a one time event.
If you are seeing someone, I would ask him what his plans are when he is in town- it could be that he just needs a place to crash and will be spending the majority of his time with friends and family.
What do you talk about when you contact him? That should be a clue.
2007-02-07 07:47:37 · answer #3 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that there is any other way to put off sex without hurting his feelings or self confidence. I think you should just spend time with him and just tell him. He will understand.
2016-05-24 03:52:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's totally your call as to whether you want to get intimate. Who cares if you say no and he gets mad? What is he to you?! He sounds like more of an acquaintance at this point.
2007-02-07 07:46:11 · answer #5 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd love to come for a visit you no matter where you live.
2007-02-07 07:45:04 · answer #6 · answered by harvman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋