mum dont want me to go doctors?

Question

i hav/depression for quite few yers and now stress, been messed up for a long time, its come to a head now, i dont enjoy much, dont wanna do much, been having panic attacks. feel very low. future seems bleak, have a lot of stress on my mind due to breakup wit ex,

i dont feel like i gettin anywhere with my cousellor. she says i have a lot of anxiety.

i feel medication maybe needed but my mum does not think so and has said it not a good idea, she not a fan of the nhs, and anti depressants, etc, and is against it.

im in my 20's i dunno what to do i really shy, well i have got anxiety issues after all, i feel confused what to do.

also have that detatched feelin where nothing seems real, it all a dream

Answer 1

All I can say is your mum is an idiot not an expert on these matters. Do what you want not what your mother thinks after all you are in your 20's. Forget a counsellor see a psychiatrist for a correct diagnosis and remedy.

Answer 2

I wonder if you have spoken to your counsellor about this as a counsellor is in the best position to know what to do.

Personally I would suggest going to the doctor and talking about going on anti depressants. You might find that you are not getting anywhere with the counsellor because you are so low, once the tablets kick in you will probably get more out of your session. Also speak to the doctor about the counselling, maybe you would be better suited to a more in-depth session, for example to see a psychotherapist instead.

I'm not sure why your mum would be against the medication side, maybe if the doctor suggests them you could take your mum and the doctor can inform her about them. Anti depressants don't turn you into a zombie or anything, they just take the edge of the misery so you can work things out better in your head, they won't make you happy - just lift the dark cloud a bit.

Best of luck, it feels awful now but you will get there, but I do think you should talk to your counsellor about this and see your doctor. Best wishes x

Answer 3

Dear Jonnyjac,

your 20 years old, I will tell you now you don't need your moms approval on going to the doctor to get on the proper medication or finding a NEW counsellor if the one you are seeing is not helping. From some of the words you use I was wondering if you were living somewhere in Europe, are you? I know customs are different there as far as any medical professional is concerned because they like to believe they are above anyone else and think their "God". Despite what anyone thinks be it your mom or counsellor,you do what's best for you and don't give in to the guilt trips. I hope this helps you out and that you have the opportunity to get the help and medication you need.Good Luck!



Sincerely,

Alice H.

Answer 4

I have battled depression for many years, and I understand how you are feeling.

Depression can be treated in many ways, medication is just one of them. Your mother is smart to question the necessity of meds, since they have many negative side effects. Before you resort to meds, I encourage you to try some of the things I am about to share. By incorporating these practices into my life, I have been able to eliminate medication and live a better life. I still have down days, but they are not as severe as they used to be, and I bounce back quickly.

Here are some things you can do to feel better:

1. Get some exercise every day. Join a gym, use a home machine or DVD, go for a walk, just get your body moving. Exercise releases feel-good brain chemicals naturally, and the only side effects are possibly sore muscles (when you first begin) or slight dehydration (drinking plenty of water prevents that.) A strong, healthy body may help give you confidence and eliminate some of your anxiety issues. It helped me!

2. Light therapy. Go outside for 15 minutes a day. If climate prevents that, buy full spectrum lighting for your home and spend as much time as possible in brightly lit rooms. Light also works on brain chemistry.

3. Daily affirmations. Here is a link to get you started. http://www.inspirationpeak.com/life.html

4. If your current counselor is not working for you, find a new one! Just remember - the counselor does not "fix" the problem, it is simply a place to examine yourself and get professional feedback.

5. Examine your diet. If you eat healthy, whole foods give yourself a pat on the back. If you eat a lot of sugar or processed stuff, try to get more fresh fruit and veggies in your diet. Refined carbs are depression's worst enemies - they may be comforting while you eat them, but in the end you will feel worse because they don't have the nutrients you need.

Answer 5

Johnny, johnny, johnny. Its good that you can talk to your mum as she is probably a good support for you, but get yourself to the doctor and try the latest medication.

They are making great strides in mental health drugs these days, so at least give it a chance to see if you feel any better on them. Taking medication to re-balance your brain chemicals has got to be better than suffering like you are day in, day out not living life to the full.
Many people are on them, you are not alone and they are not addictive. Tranqilisers could become addictive but anti depressants are not addictive.

If you have tried it for 3 months and it still doesnt' work for you, then you can cross that option off your list, but at least try them to see. They work for millions of people.

Next try a nutritionalist, and then alternative therapies. You only have one life, you need to look after yourself and try all the options available. Don't waste anymore time. Your mum isn't suffering like you are, even though in her past she's had reason to distrust NHS and medicines she does not understand.

You, on the other hand are not getting quality of life so its up to you alone to make moves towards all the chances of getting yourself back to how you should be.

1. Go to the doctor.
2. See a nutritionalist for a proper diet
3. Get more active help for your low self-esteem because that will go a long way towards getting over your ex and moving on and realising there other new and exciting doors waiting to open for you, and lovely girls wanting to meet you, as soon as you can get through this and get back into the swing of things.
4. Learn ways for dealing with the panic attacks. Your counseller should be able to show you the breathing techniques and other practises that train your mind to avoid and treat anxiety. If not, change counsellers.
5. Get as much info as possible on mental health issues. Everyone goes through it, and you will also get through it. Don't be afraid to seek help. Your mum is your lovely caring, mum, but mum's dont' always know best.
You'll come out a much stronger person after this, and you will enjoy life once more. There's a whole world out there for you - take all the steps now to make it happen as soon as possible.

Answer 6

Go to your doctor. You have nothing to be worried about taking anti depressants lots of people do. They DO WORK. Everyone needs help at some time in their life you are still so young and have so much to look forward to but the doctor will help. My friend went recently with your symptoms and completed a tick chart got the pills and one month later is a different person. Go tomorrow and get it sorted the longer you put it off the longer you will feel dow. Tell your mum after you have been you are a grown up. Good Luck be brave.

Answer 7

Feel very sorry for you. I have suffered with clinical depression for years and know how you feel. My daughter feels a lot of the time like you do but she has two young children and suffers with epilepsy as well, but she has just found a very understanding doctor who is encouraging her to find the cause of her problems and I wish you could do the same. Please dont feel too sad and your mum has her reasons not to like the NHS but you need her support not her criticism. We all need a helping hand now and again and dont think you are weak seeking help, and by the way the right anti-depressants and counselling will help, trust me. Dont ever feel there is no help OK!!

Answer 8

You're over 18 now. Don't listen to your mom; you're old enough to be making your own decisions to change your life. Maybe you do or don't need medication but that's for the doctor to decide and not your mom. Your mom didn't go through 10+ years of medical training and doesn't have a Ph. D. so who are you going to listen to? Your mom or the doctor? Forgot what your mom said, go and see a doctor if you feel that will help you then all the better for you.

Answer 9

You are prob depressed but then you say that you have a withdrawn spaced out feeling - that is what happened with my friend when she was put on prozac and she says that she thinks that is the most appealing part of the medication. You are an adult and you must make your own choice, your Mum is cautious and concerned but is prob too close to you to help make the right choice for you. Give her a hug then phone the doc

Answer 10

I went to the doctors when I was at uni when I was 23, they gave me a low doseage anti-depressent and got the college counseller to see me once a week, it worked and I really came outta my shell. Been depressed since but not as bad and took stress less - over counter natural stuff, did the job to set me back on the right path again. Things that didn't work for me were going out getting drunk with my mates.... hangovers makes things worse and alcohol makes your thoughts messed up.