How to deal with an unprofessional coworker and stay professional?

Question

I have a coworker who is _extremely_ unprofessional; she is openly hostile, and reminds me of a kid on the playground. ("You BETTER be quiet (grumble)", "Talk to the hand!", "Who are you to me?"). It's not just me, but other people seem to have a half-professional, half-not way of dealing with her - that I never learned how to do. We have very different backgrounds. Additionally, she's much younger than I, barely out of high school. I am used to a professional office environment.

This is a part-time, temp job for me, and I just want to avoid any conflict and be reasonably friendly. Any advice on how to deal with her? I'm afraid she thinks I'm "uppity", but really, I'm just naturally very reserved. I've tried to be more open and friendly, but I'm just about at my wit's end.

Thanks for your input.

Answer 1

It is useless in this type of situation to try to be more "open and friendly" from what you are describing. She has apparently already made up her mind about you and I've learned long ago, that once that happens, nothing will change it. Especially in the younger ones, with their sense of "I'm the only one who knows it all" attitude. I get the same thing here, since I too am very reserved. So, I just continue to keep to myself, minimize contact, maintain my OWN professionalism so that I am true to myself -- and leave the office things at the office when I go. Hope this works for you!

Answer 2

This will only be a part answer due to time. I am keying on " I just want to avoid any conflict and be reasonably friendly".
First of all when you say that you want _to avoid any conflict_ this is a negative statement for you. It is negatively focussed and "be reasonably friendly" is positively focussed. However the energy of the second part is weak and that of the first part is likely very strong, could even be the center of gravity of your whole personality, maybe even your life.
If possible watch the film called "The Secret" as it explains these concepts much better than I can. It can be accessed online.
What you need is a change of focus to what it is that you want in order to get away from the tendency to order more negative stuff into your life. You are a powerful creator.

Answer 3

Nothing wrong with being "uppity"... I found out a few months ago from my two bfs that was one of my biggest problems in high school. I'm naturally reserved and everyone thinks I'm a snob who thinks she's better than everyone (well, that part is true, but I'm not a snob! lol!).

Just stay professional. There is no need to get to her level and there is no need to make pals with her. Perhaps the next time she tells you to "talk to the hand" (people stillsay that?) you can just sneer and say "very mature and professional response" and walk away. That might get your point across...

Answer 4

Yeah, I've been where you are too. Lots of good answers here and I might as well put my two cents worth in.

First and most important. Be yourself. If you are quiet and reserved, that's perfectly fine. It's most assuredly not a flaw and your employers most likely appreciate your professional nature.

Second, there isn't much you can do about others' behavior. You can only change the way you respond to it. I highly recommend taking the high road here. You will not feel better about your self or your situation by behaving badly. As difficult as it is, do what you can to remain professional. When she is rude to you, either ignore her and walk away or say something she totally doesn't expect. Which brings me to...

Third, one of the best ways to deal with people like this and preserve your dignity at the same time is to do something totally unexpected. Kill her with kindness or humor. Whichever suits you best. I work with a girl who used to always put her hand up when she didn't feel the need to listen to someone else. I began taking her hand and shaking it. I only had to do that a couple of times and she quit putting her hand up at me. She asked me the second time I did it what I was doing. I told her "I always shake the hand that's coming toward me. It's a nice way to say hello." She didn't get it because she's probably never shaken a person's hand upon introduction but who cares? She doesn't put her hand in my face anymore.

With your co-worker, perhaps you could come up with some funny comebacks for when she makes rude comments. If she asks "Who are you to me?" Maybe you could say something like, "Your biggest fan! Can I have your autograph?" If she tells you to be quiet, say something like, "I'd love to!" She'll be so surprised that you came back with anything much less something that doesn't make a lot of sense she'll shut up long enough for you to escape her creepy presence. Eventually, she leave you alone and bother someone else.

Good luck. And don't forget the most important thing. Be yourself and don't lower yourself to her obnoxious level.

Answer 5

Pretty much the same as the two before EXCEPT, maybe dont actually bitchslap anyone if you can avoid it. (as much as you want to and they deserve it, it just makes you look bad and get in trouble legally.)

But additionally, I would try and get evidence. Like if your phone has a camera, or through the same accessory, a video recorder... if you turn it on, it should stay on even when you close it but still record. Like the phrase talk to the hand should pointed out to her bosses. Thats idiotic even for "just barely Graduated". An MP3 player that records sounds is fine too.

Remember that you are on record when you speak with her as well.

Answer 6

I think a bitchslap is in order..

I know these types..and as an ex-temp worker all I could do is just try to avoid and watch my own butt..they can be pretty malicious and self-serving.
Also..ALWAYS point out to the boss when you have accomplished something they requested or something big..these lunatics have a way of telling bosses you aren't working..when it's really their own lazy asses they're talking about. Good luck!

Answer 7

If you're required to interact regularly with this person, speak to your supervisor. Chances are, management will fire this person if others can corroborate- if at the least for fear of a lawsuit.

In any case, its probably not useful to try and confront or reason with this person, as they'll likely snap on you. Also, document any openly abusive language. This will be useful if it comes down to a mediation.

Answer 8

If you want to remain professional the only option I see is complaining to the boss, manager, person in charge. Unless you confront this person outside of the workplace. Which may make this situation worse.

Answer 9

Speak to her manager about what is going on. Not only is this unfair to you and the other employees, but if there are customers involved in your company, they will also be subjected to this behavior. This girl needs a swift kick in the ***.

Answer 10

maybe it's time to stop being nice, and time to stop ignoring her. It sounds like it is time to take the bull by the horns. Even though she is tight with your boss i would still have a friendly chat with your boss about this situation. If that really doesnt help then there is only one thing left to do. Push the bi*ch down a flight of stairs and save the whole world from having to deal with her. There has to be a flight of stairs somewhere that you could accidently help her fall down. If that isn't do-able then catch her away from work and beat the snot out of her and tell her you are not gonna put up with her SH*T anymore.It is time to take affirmative action and stop letting this little btch make you miserable