I have lost touch with all of my high school friends years ago. Recently, we moved back to our hometown and have now lost all the friends I made in the new city. My boyfriend bought me a ring and we are getting engaged. I have since been obsessed with planning our wedding which isn't going to be for about 2 years. BUT I have no one to stand up in my wedding except my sister and I don't know what to do!! My boyfriend has his wedding party planned. I am scared that I will look like a fool...and it makes me want to just go to the courthouse and miss what is supposed to be the best day of my life... I don't really know what my question is but hopefully someone has had a similar experience. Thanks.
2007-02-07 07:15:34 · 23 answers · asked by tlm 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well, for one, you won't look like a fool, because in a worst-case scenario, your fiance will just need to reduce how many attendants he has. Naturally, he would be very happy to do this for you, as you are his one and only true love, and he would not want you to be uncomfortable.
Are you sure that you have "lost" all of the friends you made in the new city? Or have you just not called them since you moved? If any of these were close enough to you then that you would have had them stand up for you if you still lived there, then it's entirely valid to ask them to do so back in your hometown. Many people travel to attend or be a part of their close friends' weddings.
Also, don't panic! You don't have to decide everything right now. I would be VERY surprised if you didn't make new friends, or rekindle old friendships, over the next two years...More than likely, you'll be having a regular girls' night out within the next six months. Once you're re-established with some gal pals, look at the issue again, and make new plans from that spot.
I highly recommend that you don't go to the courthouse. This will be the best day of your life...unquestionably, the most enjoyable party you'll attend - EVER.
Have patience, and have faith in your fiance. You'll find a way to work it out, but you have to do it together.
2007-02-07 07:30:13 · answer #1 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to have a large wedding party to have a traditinal wedding. Since my fiance didn't have a lot of friends he wanted to ask to be groomsmen we decided to have a very small wedding party. My sister and brother's wife were my attendants and his brother and a mutual friend were his attendants. Your wedding party members should be people you feel closest to. You do not need to make an special efforts to find new friends or reconnect with new friends just to have a larger wedding party. Sit down and discuss this with your finance. Let him know that you would feel more comfortable having a smaller wedding party since there are not a lot of other people you would like to ask. Discuss ways on how he can scale down his attendants by finding other roles for his friends ( ushers, greeters, readers, candle lighters, etc.). Besides having a smaller wedding party can actual make your experience more personal. And who better to have by your side than your sister. Trust me, things will work out fine. And you never know, a year from now you may have established some new friendships or rekindled friendships and may decide to add additional members. But even if you don't, your wedding will be perfect just as it is.
2007-02-07 08:21:12 · answer #2 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's no wedding law that says you have to have more than 1 person stand up for you, you just need someone to witness and sign the marriage licence. Generally this role falls to the maid/matron of honor and best man, but there's no rule that says those 2 have to do it. My sister's getting married, and not having any attendants, she and her fiance are having their fathers sign the marriage certificate. So don't worry if you only have a maid of honor.
But...you do need friends, but you have plenty of time to get some. Try reconnecting with friends from high school, and keep in touch with friends in your former town. Also, I'm assuming you'll be working, going to school, doing something during the next 2 years other than just sitting around, so you'll make new friends. Friendship is something that changes throughout our lives, you'll be close to someone one year, and then life changes, and you're not as close to that person anymore. It happens. But just because you have new friends, doesn't mean you lose the old ones. Remember that little song from Girl Scouts "make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold."
Best of luck to you!
2007-02-07 07:38:45 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm hoping your only kidding and somehow i think you are. Well I'm bout 99% sure you are scooter, but if the 1% chance your not, you could try growing a pair of balls, cause I'm so sick of hearing about a royal wedding!! Turn on your TV and watch all the over rated so called experts on espn talk about a draft they know next to nothing about, or wait and see the highlights of your Yanks spanking the the W. Sox. Or read the paper!!
2016-05-24 03:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by Kerry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask some of the guys to be a bridesman? If you have any male friends hanging around ask them!
I think it would look cool.
That or have a maid of honor (your sister) and have the groom have a best man.
You don't need a lot of people in the wedding party.
You also have two years until your wedding. You might reunite with old friends, or make new ones you'd like to be in your wedding!
2007-02-07 08:06:50 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...do you have any female cousins or younger aunts? How about your boyfriend? How recently did you move back to your hometown - why have you lost touch already with your new friends? Try to re-establish contact with your really good friends that you just move away from...perhaps they'll understand that you've been so busy with the move and all now that you are getting engaged. What about your best friend from high school? What about close female friends of your boyfriend? Or even (and this is something I am considering) a really close male friend to act as the 'man of honor'?
2007-02-07 07:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first congratulations! second this day has to be about the two of you and not the wedding party. you can go to the courthouse but is it how you want to remember your special day? my suggestion is if you can of course still have your sister and tell your fiancee to include one one friend/family member as well. or perhaps do not have anybody at all and let it be just two of you. or you can also include your family as your wedding party. another suggestion is have a destination wedding and bring just close family with you or even let it be just you two! whatever you do, make sure you will like it and it's a day for you and your fiancee and both of you should be happy with whatever you decide.
2007-02-07 07:31:07 · answer #7 · answered by EventNewYork 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoever said you had to have the same number of attendants as the groom? have some of the guys stand on your side if you want it balanced, isn't the idea to have your closest of family and friends involved with your wedding? And I hope you don't think your wedding day is going to be the best day of your life.....there are plenty more in your future.......if you choose to make new friends, make sure they know you are interviewing for a bridesmaid's position up front....
2007-02-07 09:09:15 · answer #8 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i do have the same experiance...i lost contact with all my high school friends and just have my sister and my b/fs sister..sad.. i feel your pain! dosent it feel good to not be alone (= anywaz you have 2 years...what im hoping for is im going back to school so i plan on making plenty of friends at the college...or you can sign up for a class you like for ex. take a cooking class...or a great way to make friends fast is get a little part time job at a clothing store i met some great girls there...if all else fails try cousins or try and talk to the old high school friends..good luck
2007-02-07 07:25:36 · answer #9 · answered by CRAZY 8 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you have two years to reconnect with old friends and make some new ones. Plenty of time!
Second, you can have just a few, or even only one attendant. Ask your fiance to cut back his own list, and to definately not ask anyone now (it's always a bad idea to ask the people to stand up so far in advance, because sometimes things change).
Don't stress! You have plenty of time!
2007-02-07 07:23:27 · answer #10 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋