How do you help your child realize and appreciate all you have done for him???

Question

Excellent restaraunts and trips for fun for 10 years..I work 27 days out of the month...but he's grown to expect it and not be thankful..:{

Answer 1

Think of this, what are you teaching him when you give and give and give? I have often had to tell my self this, " they may hate me now, but they will thank me later". What is more important? teaching them to value money or the value of money?. Those things he wants, COST!!!.So try this, think of some things that you have a hard time getting him to do ( make a list ). Than, go buy some fake money and give him about, $400.00 a month. Now the thing is, for eveytime you don't get what you want or have asked of him, you charge him a certain amount ( make another list and all the rules up a head of time ) for example: not doing chores, not reading for 20-30min, not doing homework, charge him for tissue, soap, driving to a friends house(gas) ect.... Any thing you want, and set a price list for the things you think he may want, let him know the rules include good behavior, and all the things on your list as well. Now what you do after that, is set a date like; every other Friday ( when it's good for you ) and as long as he has the money ( limit the amount of things he can buy ). That way,he would not have only had to give to get but also, "pay for it ". Now, he has to not only save his money but he get's to see what it's like to do something for you as well and at his expense! ( not really). If he does not have the money to buy what ever is for sale on your list, than you tell him " honey, I'm sorry!! maybe you can try again in two weeks " and do not give in and say " well I will just go on and do it this one time" or why complain?. But you can also think of ways he can earn extra money. Ex: if he has a good week at school, or get's in the bed on time, does something without you asking him ect... Allow him to earn like an extra $25.00 ( of the fake money ) at the end of the week. This way if he does not have the amount he needs for something he wants, you can know you have given him every chance to earn it and then he can't be upset with anyone but himself and will make better choices next time. And that allows you to not be held responsible for saying No! and only responsible for following the rules ( rules that he and you signed and agree upon before you begun, and at any time if he wants to get upset, pull out your contract ). I do something like this, but with much more to it! I have four children and we have been doing this for nine months and after about the 3rd month, it is working wonderful!!!!. My children know, I will keep my end as long as they honor theirs, and think of how much you are teaching him just by doing this? how to save, how to be responsible, the value of what it takes to make money( so he want think it means NOTHING for you to spend it) and most of all; to be thankful for anything you do! and the times that you say " hey, lets go here and do this " he will appreciate not having to " pay for it himself" and thus causeing him to be very THANKFUL!!!!! And so we reach our goal. Hope this helps. Let me know?

Answer 2

You do this stuff for your child because you love him and want to not for the appreciation. He is a child. He will not understand until he is 18 paying for his own way. There is no way for him to understand the concept of money now and trying to throw it at him is not really effective. Just give him a good childhood and do it because you want to. Someday he will thank you but most children are that way. I've met grown adults that way.

Answer 3

I don't think appreciation is something you can teach at all. Some kids begin to appreciate their parents when they get older and have to face the world on their own. Others NEVER learn to appreciate their parents' sacrifices and hard work.

That's just the nature of being a parent, you have kids (hopefully) to see them be happy, NOT because you want anything in return. (otherwise it becomes a simple transaction of goods and services. you wipe their butt when they are young, they wipe yours when you're old)

Answer 4

Sorry you don't - kids never appreciate what their parents do for them. Your best bet is to teach him to be charitable - he is old enough to donate his good used clothes, shoes, books and toys as well as work the feeding line at a shelter. Children who serve others learn gratitude quite well on their own - then they learn how good they have it at home. Good Luck!

Answer 5

He probably won't fully appreciate it until he grows up and has kids of his own. Only then will he realize just what it takes to provide all those perks he's been living with.

Answer 6

Kind of late in the game for that... Try cutting him off for a bit and see if he figures it out... Or just keep on and realize either someday he will appreciate it, or he's just thoughtless and may never let you know that it was appreciated.

Answer 7

Do less restaurants and trips.
Spend some time for yourself.
Learn to appreciate yourself and not depend on him for appreciation.

Answer 8

Stop giving him the world on a silver spoon and let him earn these treats.

Answer 9

When you kick him out the house at 18 and he has to pay his bills, rent.. etc he will appreciate how easy he had it at home. It happend to me.

Answer 10

this is verrry common. and some parents do drastic things...like send the child to bootcamp..but eventually he wont expect these things...gradually take them away and then he will appreciate you!