My sister in law is getting married in June, they just got engaged in November. They live about 150 miles away from her home town (where they will be getting married). Her Bridesmaid is having a bridal shower AND a bachelorettes party and her future sister in law is having a shower where they live for family that can't make it to the wedding. My mother in law has now insisted that I also have a shower for her. This seems a bit greedy to me, any thoughts on what I should tell them? It is already February and her other showers/parties are in April and May (2), which of course I have not been invited to. I feel that 3 shower/parties are already enough, please help!
2007-02-07 07:11:42 · 12 answers · asked by kate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
One bachelorette party and one shower per bride. Those are the rules. Not only that, you never send invitations to anything formal like a shower with anything less than a full 8-12 weeks notice. BTW, I wouldn't worry about what your Mother-in-Law thinks.
Oh, not invited, well, I'd say that answers your question for you.
2007-02-07 07:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
I'm assuming this is your mother in law's daughter that's getting married, and that's why she's being a semi shrew over it.
I'd tell your mother in law that since you're not a part of the wedding party, it's really not your place to plan a shower, and you really don't want to step on anyone's toes. That's the job of the wedding party. You can offer to help them, but if it's a question of people not being invited to either shower (and you should be invited to one of them, btw), then just make those guest lists a little bigger.
I agree that 3 showers/parties are more than enough. Mom in law needs to get a grip.
2007-02-07 15:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should just explain to your mother in law that you think 4 parties may be a bit much on the bride to be. I worked with a women who had 3 separate showers and by the third one she was miserable which ruins it for the attendees! She felt bad about being like that but it was just too much for her and honestly can you blame her, there is only some much of that kind of stuff a stressed out bride can take.
Whatever happened to one wedding and one bridal shower anyways?
2007-02-07 15:44:36 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes more then enough just be honest and let them know how you feel and that you feel that 2 showers are plenty and you will make sure she gets a bridal gift at the wedding. let them know as well that you haven't been invited to any of the others so why should you have to throw one? honesty goes along way......by the way i had 4 but its wasn't what i asked for, its that i had alot of family and friends who wanted to do alot for me and most of the parties wasn't about the gifts its about spending time with each others family before the wedding. getting to know each other as yo can you say. so do what you feel and let your sister know you love and support her, but to throw a party is not your thing
2007-02-07 15:43:38 · answer #4 · answered by tlcoufan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three Shower is a lot and believe me its a lot on the bride as well! You should graciously decline of hosting the shower. Cite reasons like the time constraints. Give the mother in law an opportunity to host the shower!! Stand your ground!!
2007-02-07 15:30:41 · answer #5 · answered by sexychocolatecity21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three showers is a lot, and no one should ask you to throw one -- what a financial burden. I would talk to your mother-in-law and tell her that you would be delighted to throw one: as long as she foots the bill. If she agrees, then throw a beautiful shower on her VISA. If she disagrees, then say you can't afford it. Know one can be mad at you over "money" problem.
But if she does want to foot the bill, I would still talk to your sister-in-law. Make sure she wants a third shower and make sure their are people for her to invite.
Really though, if Mom wants it so bad, then Mom should throw it herself!
2007-02-08 00:37:50 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 showers would be excessive especially since it doesn't sound like you are in the wedding party. Her maid of honor (or her mother for that matter) should arrange a shower to accomodate the bulk of invited females. Since you, her sister in law, have not even been invited it sounds like her maid of honor needs to be reminded the shower she is throwing shouldn't be exclusive.
2007-02-07 15:21:28 · answer #7 · answered by Meems 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As far as I am aware, it is the responsibility of the wedding party to throw a shower (I am the maid of honor soon, and this is what I was told). Anything she gets beyond that is gravy. How is it your responsibility to giver her a shower, and if your MIL is so hot on her having a third, she is welcome to throw one, but it sounds rediculous.
I would just tell her that the bridesmaids are supposed to throw her a shower, and they are doing that.
2007-02-07 16:07:14 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I guess you should first determine who isn't going to be invited to all the other showers- if it's a large # of people, or even a dozen...you could host a small shower. It doesn't have to be anything crazy- a few games and some lasagna or sandwhiches....
If everyone is already invited to one or more of the showers, then it would be silly to have another.
2007-02-07 15:44:35 · answer #9 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's not really greedy because your suppose to send a gift even if you live far away and can't attend.... so she would be recieving the same amount of gifts. Plus the bride is not asking for it, it's the fact people want to do it for her. It's really do you love and care about your sister inlaw enough to want to do something for her. I am not sure why your mother law is pressuring you to throw it though... unless your a bridemaids... why doesn't she do it if she wants it so bad??
2007-02-07 15:27:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋