I have a friend who is a single mom. Her child is young and has been in 4 schools in the last 2 years. When the kid's behavior is bad the mom blames it on everything but him. She says they don't like him, they are prejudiced (against her single status), every excuse in the book.
This child has been around me, and he IS horrible. Does not mind, does not listen, runs wild.
Now, she is always telling me that MY kids are well-behaved b/c I have a husband at home. That may be true but MY kids know consequence. When my 9 year old (who has had As & Bs since kindergarten) brought home a "C", we told him that anymore grades like that would cause him to lose his PS2. No more Cs.
Hubby & I present a united front on punishment, we may be hard on them but we can take them anywhere w/o worrying about how they act. We get no bad reports from school etc.
Does anyone here experience this? How can you help someone like this? Do you even try?
2007-02-07 07:11:37 · 8 answers · asked by laneydoll 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
My sister & I can from "broken homes" & we never had any problems in school as a result.
I don't think it is lack of time b/c she has him playing every sport that is offered.
2007-02-07 07:25:29 · update #1
Actress, I don't think it is wrong to punish kids for bad grades. He was not "beaten" we just told him that anymore grades below a B would cause him to lose his PS2 until the grade improved. For good grades, he gets money. We treat his education as his job and (just like at my job) their are rewards for good performance & "punishment" for poor performance.
B/C he shares a room with his much younger brother, we do not expect him to clean his room. I do it for them while they help. But, we do insist that his studies are attended to.
2007-02-07 09:05:29 · update #2
I have no good advice for you. BUT two comments:
1. I've been a single parent since she was 6months old and although sometimes I don't see it, everyone she meets tells me she is very well behaved and excellent manners. It can be taught solo - YOUR FRIEND IS DEAD WRONG.
2. To Actress: The law says we must provide them with food and shelter. PS2, Barbies, TV, and all that material crap is a PRIVILEGE. They do their best, they earn privileges. When they don't, well, they've still got food and shelter. That's the way it is.
2007-02-07 09:14:49 · answer #1 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I do think that single mom's have it harder. You and your husband can me a united front, where as she cannot. However, coming from a single mom home, my brother and I both have had no behavior problems. By my aunt, single mother/2kids, lost all control over her kids and they have been in all sorts of trouble since. I think the difference it this. My mom never let the little things go. Once you start letting little things go, then bigger and bigger things start getting ignored too. This might be what is happening with your friend. She needs to get her act together and probably go into family counseling so that her child doesn't end up like my cousins who became wards of the state and lived in juvenile detention centers. You can try to help her, but she is the one who has to make the decision.
2007-02-07 07:19:15 · answer #2 · answered by mfupipoet 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have seen many kids like this, and in many cases it's when parents think that their child is completely perfect and they blame everything that goes wrong with their child on other people.
I say confront her about it in a somewhat passive way.
Also, can I add that I think it's wrong to punish a child for getting a bad grade? I mean, yeah, if the kid gets straight D's, punish them, but if a straight-A student who stresses over everything brings home one C, just make sure they do better next time.
It may be simple now, but when your son gets to middle school, he'll be stressed enough. Don't put extra stress on him.
2007-02-07 08:42:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes i have a friend like that also, and its best to not try to help her she'll suffer in the long run when he gets older. that type of person cant see beyond their own nose and has to have someone else to blame. one day someone is going to call child welfare and then she's going to have to do so much stuff that she doesnt like. and in the long run her child will suffer when he's older when mommy cant make excuses for him.
2007-02-07 07:26:34 · answer #4 · answered by themom95 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know a mom who brags that she's never read to any of her children--and then complains that the schools aren't doing their job of educating her children (her oldest has already failed the statewide exam twice).
I've found it to be a waste of breath to try to reason with her to see her involvement in the problem.
2007-02-07 07:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes we have to let go of of our thoughts about other
people or their children to ourselves. If she does not see
any problem with her son, then you can't do anything, but step
away and leave it be. I would not watch the child if he is bad
though. She will finally get it, when people start to say no at
watching her son. Getting notes and phone calls from teachers
etc... Pray for them!!!
2007-02-07 07:28:03 · answer #6 · answered by BLONDIE 1 · 4⤊ 1⤋
DEAR IT IS TIME FOR A REALLY GOOD SPANKING TO STRAITING THE CHILD UP YOU HAVE TO SPANK TO MOM NOT JUST DAD A REALLY GOOD SWAT ON THE LITTLE BOTTOM AND A REALLY STRONG VOICE WILL DO IT MOMS CAN HANDLE SPANKING TO TRUST ME OK TAKE CARE
2007-02-07 18:38:24 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my sister in law complete idiot her kid has no bed time at 7yrs old eats what and when he wants you can't do anything it just makes the parent angry their fault
2007-02-07 07:17:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋