Why do we keep arguing?

Question

Ive been with my fiancee 2 year this july, when in fact the 2nd anniversary is when we are getting married.

On the odd occasion we argue about silly things, today because I was busy at work I snapped at him by accident and he did not talk to me all day, I got home this evening, and apologies for it.....

He wont forgive me and when I have tried to talk to him he tells me to go away and does not want me to speak to him. I have spoken to one of his friends from work who just says to leave him be, but Im getting myself really upset and crying all the time....

Help!

Answer 1

Ignore him men are stubborn and immature.
I normally just ignore my fiance and he is the one who talks to me first lol he hates the silent treatment
act as if him ignoring you doesn't bother you.
Good luck with MR MOODY PANTS lol

Answer 2

I have been in a relationship for over three years and no matter what there are always times when there are arguments no matter how dumb they are. Although you say you just snapped at him and apologised (which is good on your part) there is probably more to the situation, which is why he hasn't forgiven you. I know guys and they aren't ones to hold a grudge. One thing I don't suggest though is talking to his friends or family members about it. Keep it between you and your fiancee because it is your problem, no one else's. I'm not one that has all the answers but one thing I do suggest is reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriages by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I have read it and it is a fantastic book and easy to read (if you hate reading like I do). There are tons of testimonials in the book that have showed how her advice has helped many relationships even if you aren't married yet. To help in the meantime don't bring up the situation, just do random things to make him happy: give him a back rub, tell him how much you love him, or make him a nice dinner. Any good thing you do always seems to come back around in the end. The best of luck with you!

Answer 3

It is stress of the wedding, my boyfriend said he'll stay well away from me the week before :))

But you should be concerned about the forgiveness thing: marriage is about forgiving and loving and it seems there's not much of that going on! If he's being that insensitive about a minor issue like this, do you really want that to happen every time something similar happens?? What sort of marriage are you expecting? It's probably a wise idea to discuss that before you get married.

You should maybe also ask yourself whether there's something he's unsure of or freaking out about. To react that way just because you were stressed and snapped, doesn't ring right to be honest.

Hope you can get it sorted! Good luck :)

Answer 4

You both need to time out. It sounds to me like stress is putting strain on your relationship.
This may not seem like a good idea, but try spending some time apart.
My Fiance (at the time) and I broke up a few years ago. We stayed friends and saw each other all the time. Eventually, it became weird that we weren't together anymore and we became a couple again. We are now more in love than ever.
This may not be the best thing for you. But you should really have a good long talk with him and get everything out in the open, you never know, a break could be just what you need.

Answer 5

Maybe I might be wrong, but perhaps there's been too many times that he has longed to talk to you - his soulmate; and you have snapped at him for no apparent reason other than lack of control. Perhaps he's worn down by apologies when the behaviour is repeated.
Men are very sensitive - if he's decided that you are the one for the rest of his life and the little niggles are already emerging; he might just be confused and hurt that are you both making the right decision. Marriage is continual respect for one another.
He'll come back; do things that he wants for a while and show him loads of affection - and take a breath before you say the wrong thing!

Answer 6

You need to wait until things have calmed down again before you can talk and try to understand each other. We set triggers in people and vice versa and this is obviously happening between you 2. One other option would be to go to Relate and sort this out before you get married. You need to understand each others reactions and have empathy and care for each other. If his behaviour is upsetting you that much and he is not caring then you need to ask yourself what is really going on. It works the other way too, why is he not talking to you after that you say was something quite minor? The only way is to talk and tell each other how these things make you feel. How you both react might not necessarily change but you need to learn to live with each other, assuming you do want to really be together, and understand each other. That is hard work and can take time and it is what makes relationships strong - to be able to get past this and care for each other.

Answer 7

Getting married is a very stressful time. I picked arguments and snapped at my husband without realising and i still do it when i am worried about something. Its a way of getting your anger out without having to deal with the real issues. Wait untill you are both in a good mood and tell him he needs to stop taking everything to heart when you snap or argue. Explain that his sulking doesnt get anything sorted. For now let him sulk, he will come round. Maybe there is something bothering him so he is hiding behind this mood. It will all be ok x

Answer 8

You know what??? Men are big babies, emotional, sensitive and ohh sooo cute. You may have hurt his feelings, my b/f is just like him, but the best make up for us is when i have his favorite pizza ordered and delivered to his office and enough for his coworkers, he loves to dwell on the attention, especially now that Valentines is around the corner, send him a bouquet of blue tulips.
I have been in our relationship 6 1/2 years now and the first 2 were the hardest but now that we know each others good and bad side we know how to handle it or just lay off. I got better after 2 years, Key word: Attention, give him lots of attention, I do allot of baby talk and it works even better when we're upset and i give in with a little baby talk and a soft unexpected rub from behind. its great... I love my lover,,,,,,,,,

Answer 9

I think men tend to shy away from acting desperate. It will more annoy him than make him feel bad. Try to be a little stronger about it. He probably will come around.
It's true that when you act like you don't care as much, you get the other's attention. If he is witnessing you hysterical all the time, he may feel like oh god, stop blubbering already.
Try to be calmer, and not as emotional, and he may not need as much time alone b/c he'll know you're calmer and he won't have to deal with a hysterical female.

Answer 10

ok..watever it is that ur uncomfortable wid...u gotta tell him calmly & try to let him know how much it matters to you. Guys can be insensitive so it's how you tell him. Don't start out in a tone that seems like ur gonna start an argument..TALK to him. If he still gets mad or thinks that whatever it is that ur telling him is stupid, then tell him that it's not stupid to you & that it's important. Tell him if that if he's not willing to talk then the both of u r obviously gonna continue arguing unless you two truly sort things out.

Answer 11

Don't make a big deal of this if you two love each other you will get past the petty stuff. Just give him his space and let him get over his little hurt feelings it's nothing to cry over for love conquers all. Thank God you two aren't arguing over another woman or man, think about that and you will see the positive.