It's great to forgive loved ones that have hurt us, reconcile and move on. But the best way to move on is to remove ourselves from future situations that may cause us harm again. e.g. I am hurt by someone and so I'm trying to forgive but ultimately I am trying to minimze any future interaction w/this person. This is realistically the best approach. Agree?
2007-02-07 06:50:26 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yep. If someone hurts you, you can forgive and move on. But you don't need to keep that person in your life. It would be stupid to.
2007-02-07 06:54:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel? Do you want justification for your own actions? Noone can answer this question what is right, they can only give their opinion. Can you forgive this person? Do your actions show forgiveness? what is forgiveness? try the dictionary..soul searching... and look in the mirror. How would you feel if the situation were reversed? What is realistic when it comes to a persons heart? Minimize future interaction? Is that really love? I can't see that. If you love them, then you would sympathise with their feelings as well as your own. Is there really love there? I was always taught that forgiveness meant receiving a person in spite of hurt that they have caused you. But this is a situation that we can't answer for you, only give our opinions. Look in the mirror and ask yourself.
2007-02-07 15:20:46 · answer #2 · answered by wonderwoman 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I believe you are right.
I have this notion of Forgiveness- wiat till the problem is Fixed.
Now, that doesn't mean that you can't have Forbearance when the person is in the middle of fixing things.
For instance, a man cheats on a woman. They have five kids and she's really trying to deal. He promises better.
He actually makes sure to get home and take the kids to their umpteen practices, etc...
but he's still giving the roving eye in front of her.
If she wants to work this out, she needs to give him balanced feedback- "Great that you're home. Hate te roving eye. Still, I know you're trying."
A few months later- "OK, you really have done a lot. Now I really need you to stop looking elsewhere right in front of me. I'm not stupid enough to think you're too dead to notice, but you need to censor that around me and the kids."
When the conditions are decent, then forgiveness can finally be achieved.
It's that in-between that tends to stress everybody out.
You can't play up your victimhood and not honor the right that is done you!
2007-02-07 15:01:17 · answer #3 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well- no I don't agree with that actually.
The reality of forgiveness is NOT the other person.
It is within yourself. You are okay to trust again.
It sounds like you can't trust that person, so don't waste the energy. Tell them point blank- you hurt me and it will take time for me to heal from it and you to earn back the trust again. Until that time, I will continue to live my life and things may not be the same. The honest truth for both of you.
Don't put your life on hold for anothers mistakes! Be brave live on!
2007-02-07 14:58:49 · answer #4 · answered by Denise W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus says to forgive as you want to be forgiven. Love endureth forever. love endures all things. The bible is the book of answers to ALL of life's situations. READ IT MAN!
If the Good Book scares you, try looking up forgiveness, love or reconciliation in the back of a bible. For REAL! If you don't have one, find one, or just browse through it in a bookstore.
Youwant realistic, then look it up. these people are thinking selfishly, if that's the answer you want then be selfish. if you really love them, and want to b fair look it up!
2007-02-07 15:36:06 · answer #5 · answered by peaceloveandjesus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving someone doesn't mean it's OK what they did.
It means you've decided not to let what they did cause you to be angry or vengeful or hate them.
So not having much to do with the person is perfectly OK and probably the best thing for both of you.
2007-02-07 14:54:56 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the whole point of forgiveness is too free yourself and the other person from future guilt/shame/anger etc....it does not mean you're saying whatever they have done is ok with you or that you have to instantly be pals again....
If you feel you need to remove yourself from them just set up your boundaries, they are going to have to respect your decision, and if they attempt to make you feel guilty for it, then they aren't truly sorry and you just have all the more reason to steer clear...I agree....
2007-02-07 14:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're under no contract to forgive her. If you don't want to, don't.
If you want to pull away from her, you can. Its a free country.
Just be sure that (a) you don't hold her actions against future girlfriends, and (b) that you are beyond forgiving her.
Pick a lane.
2007-02-07 15:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reconciling is a way of forgiving and moving on. saying your peace however possible. you cant minimize your hurt or the love you felt. you can try to put it in perspective...gather it all up into one neat lump and color it gone. peace
2007-02-07 15:01:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love them, then you wouldn't turn your back on them. If they did wrong and they are sorry, then they probably won't do it again. reconciliation means coming back together, and if you forgive them, then you are willing to work it out, if you don't forgive them, then walk away and spare them. Have you never done someone wrong and wanted forgiveness? how did you want for them to forgive you?
2007-02-07 15:03:45 · answer #10 · answered by Fa!thfuIIy H!s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋