What should I tell my parents?

Question

Here is the story, growing up my parents never belived in me in doing anything, and when I grew up my parents always said I would never amount to anything, and that I would never graduate. Here's the thing, I said **** my parents back when I was 5 when they told me I couldn't do something, and I say **** them now, next semester I'm going to be awarded my first degree, maybe it took me somewhat longer than some people but I'm going to get it.

I was thinking that once I get my degree and get a job I would buy a new car, and say **** them right to their face or something, anyway I was curious to know what would have more of an effect from the son they had that would never amount to ****.

Btw, don't bother giving advice on seeing a counselor or what not, I don't want it, and you'll probably receive a violation because of it, just answer the question or don't bother posting anything. Not everyone has good relationships with their parents.

I should probably add that I pay for my own college tuition, supplies, and gas. I refuse to ask my parents for help.

Answer 1

roll up in your new car, and hopefully its a nice one be dressed in a nice suit lookin liek a pimp and honk ur horn til ur parents come out and when they do say "Dumbass Mother *******!! look at my car my suit and you should see my house! i proved yall wrong you stupid mother ******* I think you owe me an apology!" and when they apologize, say "apology not accepted BITCHES!!!" and hop in your corvette and speed away...

Answer 2

Been there. Congrats on your degree! Your success is multiplied by the fact that you had no support or encouragement. You rock!

In my experience I couldn’t help it… I gave the “F- You, How you like me NOW?” speech. It felt great right up to the moment, and then it was extremely disappointing for me. I made the mistake of expecting them to have feelings, to show remorse, in essence, to change. But the fact that they are who they are, I should have known the “F- You” I was so looking forward to would not affect them.

So for my own sanity, I cut them out entirely. They can’t reach my by phone, they don’t know what I drive or where I work, they don’t know who’s in my life. If I do something really wonderful, I tell another relative I know will eventually tell them. But I don’t waste a second thinking of them anymore.

Also, I have a kid now. They don’t know “why I’m so angry”, and don’t understand why they’re “being denied” their grandkid. Suddenly they’re hurting, and want me around. And it ain’t happening. I’m too good for them, and my kid deserves better grandparents. Maybe they’ll figure out what they’ve done, may they won’t. Either way, f*** ‘em.

I hope your strength takes you far in life, and you find great friends who will be that support system we all need. Move far away, and don’t give them your number. They don’t deserve any credit for your success.

Answer 3

man, I hear ya loud and clear. MY parents were the same way and I did exactly the same thing. I proved tehm wrong. I was the ONLY one in my family to graduate high school and go to college. I was also the ONLY one(including my parents) to own my own home (1990) and have started my own business in 2002. Until I started my own business I had GOOD paying jobs and worked like a dog. raised my kids, never asked for ANY help from them, etc. My siblings have nothing to show for all their yrs. of work. They own nothing, still rent, etc. (We were all treated the same, but I was determined to ovecome and I did) I feel this made me all the more stronger. I didn't like that they NEVER gave 2 shites about what I did in school or anything else. BUT....And this is a big but...I overheard my mom on several occasions telling her sisiter how well I was doing and how well I had done. THIS was better than telling them to go fluck off. I SHOWED THEM. My parents are now dead, but even after I made it good did they ever tell me they were proud or give ANY encouragement.
My advice, just sit back and listen. It will be your reward. It was mine. Dunno why they couldn't tell me to my face they were proud of me for doing so well.

Answer 4

I am so proud of you.........You have overcome a great obstacle & I'm very sorry that your parents were so wounded themselves that they chose to bring you down.
Please read Conversations with God book I. No religious studd just a good explanation as to why parents can be screwy.
They need the therapy, not you.
What I would recommend is to work on your anger as it will only hurt you. You give your power away when you focus on others negatively. You are much to good for that. Be aware of yoyrself someday as a parent as these behaviors unfortunately carry over.
You are a very brave individual to have done so well & to post your question, Sent your enemies love for you are better.

Answer 5

I wouldn't even waste my time. The mature thing to do would be to just move on and enjoy the life that you've given yourself. If that is really how your parents are, no matter what you do, it's not going to be good enough for them.
If you buy a new car, they will tell you that you wasted your money or something else. It'll just be more disappointment on top of what you already have had all your life.

Answer 6

Be proud of yourself and do the most admirable thing AFTER graduation. Send them the notice with a thank you card simply stated that their lack of parenting,inspiration,and love gave you the drive to succeed. Oh and GOOD FOR YOU. If it means anything I'm proud of you. Get the last word but be the mature person you've grown to be.

Answer 7

there is a coupel things relivent here... fist, motivation has been the engin of success forever...regardless wether it is generated by revenge..hate..or love, or self-satisfaction.
second.. words spoken in anger are very often bearing on a tomorrow innocent of resentment,...once spoken, they cannot be un-sead.
third.. time and liveing and experiance will change us all..and, how we 'see' things. The 'feelings' you feel today, will not be life-long, the accomplishments you accrue are inseperable from the motives that they result from.
and 4th.. if you can...forgive them there awkwardness being parents, there are no perfect parents any where...there is no manual eather...nor any menue of methods that are universal to all.

If you refuse the groath and maturity that is going to be your
eventual future, these current emotions you feel will replay in ways you least expect...count on it.

Answer 8

Cussing at your parents isn't going to do anything helpful. Just say, "You said that I would never amount to anything! Well, your wrong now! I have a degree! You were the worst parents ever!" or something to that effect. But just don't cuss at them.

Answer 9

I think that is so great that you have accomplished so much on your own. Congrats!!!. I would mail your parents copies of the things you have accomplished. I would not call or write anything. just leave it at that. Don't go to there level. Besides of they are that mean then they might just say something to piss you off and it will never end. Cangrats again

Answer 10

My boyfriend's parents are the same way to him, and the damage is really hard to undo. I'd just make sure that they know you've done well. Be passive-agressive and send them little notes updating them on your progress every so often, rubbing in any and every accomplishment. Send pictures of you with your diploma, with your new car, at your new job, etc. They'll be ridden with guilt and constantly reminded that they were WRONG.

Answer 11

I think its awesome that you showed your parents up and you should say something to thier face. They obviously don't care enough to help you out with school and they don't believe in you so F**k them. I am proud of you and I don't even know you. Keep it up. One more thing I was thinking is that your parents might be like that because they wanted you to suceed but at this point in your life they should give it up and be proud of you! Keep up the good work and don't let them drag you down!!!