i have been friends with her for 3 years now. and yes, we were friends with benefits. several months ago we had a "falling out" i told her that i do not want to talk to her anymore. she stopped calling as frequently and i thought she had finally moved on and lo and behold last week she calls me "private" and starts rambling about how great her new guy is, blah, blah... in my opionin she was calling me to try to make me jealous and in actual fact is really in love with me otherwise, if the new guy was so great, why is she still calling? what do you guys think? remember, i told her never to call me again long before this as i said the friendship was over... let me know your thoughts.. is she just crazy, or possesive or just .....
2007-02-07 05:59:13 · 11 answers · asked by the doc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is excited about her new love, and when love is new...most of us...just wants to tell anyone and everyone who will listen...yes she has moved on.
2007-02-07 06:05:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didnt quite understand when you say freinds with 'benefits', is that like you were just best of freinds with her, helping each other, or...I dont know whatever. I dont know about guys, but I'll tell you what...you said she does not call you frequently, which I assume means that she does call you anyway, if not frequently, so that is not like she did not call you at all and she just suddenly calls you out of the blue, when you are still not on good terms with her, right ? Her call to you need not be necessarily to make you jealous, or taunt you in anyway, but it also sounds like she feels comfortable telling you, cos' you were her freind anyway, or perhaps telling you that her life is going on as usual, cos' if she was crazy, possessive and all in love, she wouldnt have stopped calling you at all, she would have pursued you, tried to patch up things, and feel awful and hurt, and probably even whine to you to come back....but she didnt. She was just calling, not as frequently, and finally when she found someone, she wanted to share it with you, though I agree with you that obviously she had some intentions, I dont think it could be for the sake of making you jealous or cos' she is crazy or possessive...
Be the way you are, see if her calls come in again, and the nature of conversations...if you are right, she may go on bragging about it, at a point where you could tell her that you really are busy and you have loads of things to do, and if she could please not have anything to do with you at the moment......And do not react badly cos' that would indicate that you are jealous, and if that is her purpose of this, she would have done what she needed to see in you, so keep aloof, and say you are happy for her, but then, not righ tnow, and u'll get in touch once you finish up your own sorting out...whatever..
Unless....unless ofcourse if you arent in love with her, or feeling bad that she called you to tell you that she has a great boyfreind. You arent upset over it, are you ? Be sure of your own feelings too....perhaps you are missing out on messages from your own mind...
2007-02-07 06:12:54 · answer #2 · answered by arya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, she was not your friend she was your lover. Friend with benefits -- no. And yes, she called to make you jealous, an action of a spurned lover. The main problem here is not so much that she is calling you, you are taking the calls. What you should have and should be doing is saying, I ask you not to call me. Good-bye and hang up. Saying no more but saying this firm and without harshness or anger.
Is she crazy, possessive... no she just sounds adolescent and that means she has not matured enough to act adult.
2007-02-07 06:10:58 · answer #3 · answered by cnc_13023 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's her way of trying to reach out to you and yes, she is trying to make you jealous. If she didn't care about you at all, you would have never crossed her mind long enough to pick up the phone and purposefully block her number so you couldn't tell who was calling. She doesn't want to put herself out there to get hurt by calling to say "hey im sorry, and i really do like you and want to try to be with you" so instead she is trying to make you jealous enough so you will do it. call her on this, and see what happens. She isn't crazy or possessive, shes vulnerable and unsure of herself. If you do like her say "why did you call me to tell me about that guy when you know how i feel about you?" if you dont like her, dont call her and just let it go.
2007-02-07 06:04:50 · answer #4 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just wants to be friends, without benefits, and wants you to be happy for her. What did you say to her when she called? Did you tell her you still didn't want her friendship, or did you read the jealousy thing in there and are giving yourself a pat on the back? Examine your own motives. If you truly do not want this girl to be your friend be big and tell her, wish her a happy life, forgive her for past wrongs and go on.
2007-02-07 06:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by jnjsnana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she wanted you to know that she is fine with out you and yes she is trying to make you jealous
2007-02-07 06:08:47 · answer #6 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about what she's saying and focus on what she's not saying. you pretty much already figured it out. she's just looking for closure. guys can easily lose feelings for a girl if it was just physical because we enjoy the hunt. just let her down easy and be a bigger man about it. imagine if she was your daughter, how would you feel if her ex was treating her like that? do the right thing.
2007-02-07 06:07:55 · answer #7 · answered by WreckinShop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not want to talk to her, stand firm and do not take her calls. It seems that she has always viewed you as a buddy, though, and wants to share her life with you in that way. You have a choice; do you want a female buddy or do you want to close this chapter of your life?
2007-02-07 06:04:33 · answer #8 · answered by Bob T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be because she still has feelings for you or it could be revenge - to make you feel bad because she has moved on and found a new partner before you have.
2007-02-07 06:05:56 · answer #9 · answered by clairelou_lane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if she called to tell you about her new boyfriend after you told her not to, chances are she likes you. and just has the boyfriend to make you jealous, whether it works or not. so talk to her about it. otherwise...things could get frusterating.
2007-02-07 06:05:35 · answer #10 · answered by .:xXx:. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋