How much should you tell a sixth grade boy about the "birds and bees"?

Question

I've been asked to lead the small group sessions for the sixth grade boys at a church's student discipleship weekend. The theme is 'pure love.' How much info do you think is too much at that age?

Answer 1

What a wonderful undertaking you are about to have. You will be surprised and maybe shocked by how much a 6th grader already knows about sex. You will be equally shocked and dismayed by how much of it is inaccurate. I would start out by asking the group what they think the words "Pure Love" mean to them. Allow them to have the discussion with you instead of the other way around. If they ask direct questions, answer them with honesty and very basic terms.

Love and Sex are two very different things, I would make sure they know that. Adolescents need to understand that love is something they can feel for many different people but sex is only for marriage, especially if this is a Church function. These kids need to know they can ask you anything and won't be laughed at or judged harshly by their peers. I have 2 children in 6th grade and they both know "the birds and the bees" straight forward and thoroughly.

I think your focus should be on "Love" and what it means to them and only turn to sex if it is brought into the discussion by the boys. If you focus then on the difference in the two, you will have a very successful weekend.

Good Luck to you and have fun!!

Answer 2

Sixth grade boys know more than we think they do, sometimes. My kids knew where babies came from by the time they were three, they knew the correct names for body parts, and I always answered their questions honestly. Eleven and twelve year old boys should be long past the basics of biology and into ethics, such as not sleeping around.

If I were you, I'd meet with or call the parents first. Consult with them on how much information they want their sons given. I hope you don't run into too many overprotective fussbudgets who think their little darlings shouldn't even hear the word sex. This question reminds me of the thirteen year old Tennessee boy who fathered a child. Two years later he fathered another one with a different girl. When asked whether he'd ever talked to the boy about the facts of life, the dad said, "I'm afraid if I did, he might get the idea I'm in favor of it." Honestly!

Answer 3

Just because the theme is "Pure Love" doesn't mean you can't educate these kids about sex. It's important for kids that age to know about it so they understand not only the mechanics but the consequences of sex. Be candid and honest and answer their questions directly. Given that it's a church event, go ahead and express the pros of waiting until marriage. You may find that some know, or at least think they do, more about it than you do, but it seems to me that lack of sexual education is kind of an epidemic around here, especially when you go through some of the questions these kids are asking on Y!A. While we, in my school, had our SECOND sex ed course in 6th grade, some areas don't teach it at all.

Answer 4

Both religious children and non-religious children have disadvantages in this area. Religious kids are not informed or misinformed so by the time they are confronted with sexual situations, they don't know the good, the bad, and what they are comfortable with is contorted. Whereas children who are rushed into these situation are burned on the experience. I think you should answer every single question that is asked as honestly as you possibley can. If you approach a subject that you're uncomfortable talking about, you can tell them to ask their parents or look it up in a library (NOT THE INTERNET) so that they are informed properly but not overexposed.

Answer 5

I have a now 6-yr old daughter, and while I haven't touched upon anything specific, I have read her a book that is about babies and childbirth. A very simple, tasteful book. I consider myself to be someone prudent on the subject so approaching it is tough. However, I do know that it is important to do so, because I do not want my daughter to be pregnant at 16 years old. I want to make sure I follow guidelines on talking to her about it each step of growth, even if it means including my own life (later down the road). I want to be honest, sincere and make sure she knows how babies are made and WHY and what you should and should not do. It is very hard to discuss, I know, but that's why I've decided to start young, and keep going so that we have open lines of communication. Good luck.

Answer 6

You might not want to lead the conversation but ask what they already know... Then go from there. I remember in 6th grade I and everyone else already knew about sex, holding hands, kissing...we even knew what it meant to get to each "base". I think you are in for a shocker during this adventure....
The main thing is not to act shocked, children especailly that age just want to know the facts...so that is all you should provide.

Answer 7

As a Baptist we are to say nothing but as you are to speak you all must be progressive thinkers. At 6th grade I had already experienced the birds and the bees so warn then of the dangers and the hurt that can occur and tell them all that there is to natural sex

Answer 8

Oh man thats hard telling your own child the whole and unvarnished truth may be one thing but telling all the 6th grade boys the birds and bees is quite another story. I would tread very carefully on that subject.

Answer 9

Sad thing you may discover is they know more than you do now a days thats the theme but I would only tell them that when a man and a woman fall inlove and get married God gives them a gift to share together of intimacy and being together I would not go into lots of detail another thing you may wanna do is ask their parents what they have told them and what they would appreciate you sharing and not sharing.

Answer 10

This is not a subject that should be handled by a church. A trained teacher with not familial connection to the boy is far more appropriate in a school setting. Churches with their moral limitations caused by religion may do the very wrong thing.