I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, but we are having to cut (for the third time) our guest list. Some of these people probably just assume they are invited and that it is going to be a big wedding. However, we just can't afford to invite as many people as we were hoping because we are paying for everything ourselves (which we've known all along) and the cash just isn't there.
Any suggestions for letting people down easy when they ask where their invitation is?
thanks.
2007-02-07 05:44:09 · 13 answers · asked by ☼ lovethesun11 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
WOW! Someone would actually ASK where their invitation was?
Ok, I feel like I'm missing something here - were any of these people ever told they were invited at any point in time? That could be a really sticky situation.
Did you invite any of them to your shower? I hate to say it, but if you've invited them to your shower, you need to invite them to your wedding.
Otherwise, if you've not already indicated to any of these people that they were invited, the best thing you can do is to be very honest with them - the big reception of your dreams is simply not in your budget, and you had to trim the guest list to family only...Apologize, tell them how you wish they could be there.
If it's feasible for you, you may want to consider inviting some of these friends over for drinks & appetizers when you return from your honeymoon so they can see pictures, or to watch your wedding video. Just a thought.
2007-02-07 05:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by sylvia 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say:
" I would love to invite you to my wedding but I am not in the condition to pay too much for my wedding,but don't feel bad because you're not the only ones missing out."
I would have a dinner party at my house if I were you so the uninvited guests won't feel bad and invite them and give them a little gift like a picture frame or candle. Don't buy things expensive for the little gift,just something from the dollar store or something for $1-$4. Good luck!!!
2007-02-07 17:50:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just tell them you decided to have a smaller, more intimate gathering with just a few friends a family. Then say you hope you can get together with them after you're back from your honeymoon and have settled in... that way they know they aren't being snubbed or forgotten, just that you had to keep the list small.
DO NOT get into a lengthy explanation of your money troubles. This is rude and it may be seen as an attempt to get money gifts from people.
2007-02-07 16:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How 'bout this?
"I'm sorry, but it's been really tough. Because we're footing the bill on our own, we've had to pare down and keep things smaller than we wish, and we just can't have as many people to the wedding as we wish we could. Thank you for asking me, I really am grateful for your good wishes, and for understanding how hard it is for us to try to keep to our budget. And now, on another subject..." (introduce some other subject here: preferably an inquiry about something you know the person will want to talk about, that takes the subject away from the wedding.)
People who are good friends will understand. People who don't understand, and want to make you feel bad, are just rude and shouldn't be indulged.
2007-02-07 13:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
dont forget that the wedding will pay for itself, people will give u money in the envolpees that will cover there food and they will give a little more. And when u have more people the banqute will give u a better deal, Also having ur wedding on Sunday will cut cost's.....
This is ur wedding, u should invite everyone u know!!!!
2007-02-07 16:40:23 · answer #5 · answered by elena 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just tell them that due to budget restrictions you had to keep the guest list to a minimum.
2007-02-07 17:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by FlyChicc420 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say, sorry we are having a small wedding because of budget constraints, so only close relatives are invited.
2007-02-08 01:39:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them seating is limited.
Tell them you devised a fair way to determine who should attend using a random process of elimination.
Explain how you painstakingly etched each person's name onto a marble and then fed them to your dog Luck (you may need to purchase a dog named Luck).
Put a hand on their shoulders and gently explain....
you're sh#t out of luck.
2007-02-07 14:12:05 · answer #8 · answered by Michael E 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think what you just wrote should explain it pretty well. One possible solution is to limit it to close family only. That will elimate the "she must love bob better" nonsense.
2007-02-07 13:52:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe adjust the wedding so everyone can come? What's a few bouquets of flowers. Sacrifice a little for those who love you.
2007-02-07 13:52:57 · answer #10 · answered by guy o 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋