I have been hanging out with this girl for about 3 years off and on, we have been more than friends from the physical activities point but we have never said or mention what our relationship status were. During the course of 3 years that I have known her, she has gone away here and there because she got involved in serious relationships. Anyway, Im at the point where I finally asked her if she wanted more than a friendship since we have so much in common and we have never talked about this topic. Her reponse was: I have been thinking about this too but i'm just afraid it will ruin our friendship. She did not really say yes or no, she just said: lets just leave it "open" for now and see what happens then she told me she will get intouch with me in a few days to hangout again. Keep in mind that this girl is 21 and very intelligent, she is the analytical type that thinks about everything. I just wanted to ask what you guys think and what do you think she means ? Thanks for any advice.
2007-02-07 05:41:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have a friendship with casual sex. It sounds like she likes the friendship and the casual sex. If you start a more serious relationship and it does not work out, the current situation is not likely to return.
She is not sure that she is willing to lose this situation. She may have a really good point. If the two of you really felt something strong between you the relationship would not have stayed the way it is for three years.
Take care,
Troy
2007-02-07 05:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my first question is how many "serious" relationships has she have? I hope that she is not the type that falls madly in love with every guy she dates. She maybe seriously considering the relationship, or she didn't really consider taking it to the next level before. I can't blame her for using caution regarding the friendship. I have seen friendships ruined because they took it to the next level. Even if water is under the bridge, the friendship is not the same. Whatever she decides, respect her decision. Everything happens for a reason, and if she decides to stay friends, then it is probably better off that way.
2007-02-07 13:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend basically made it very clear that she wanted to just leave it open. This doesn't mean she doesn't like you. Nor does she means that she will definitely accept you as more than friends. She means, that it is a possibility that the two of you can be together. Love has not fully developed in both of you, yet. You've to give it time. It can take another three years before she says yes, it can take less. The truth is, that there is hope, and that should make you feel a bit more comfortable now. Don't do anything to screw up this hope. Don't push it.
2007-02-07 13:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by ОГОНЬ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. You two are in the same postion that I was in a year and a half ago, so I am speaking from experience. She really is just afraid to lose what you already have. See, if there is no commitment, then there is no breaking up, and if you never break up, there is no loss. She values you deeply, and just wants to keep yopu by her side. So what you need to do is sit down and talk with her. Tell her how strongly you feel, and that no matter what happens ( save cheating a murder =] )you will always be there for her, realationship on or off.
2007-02-07 13:48:20 · answer #4 · answered by Linka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first thing is first She sounds like someone like me. And one of my close friends asked me the same thing. And i pretty much said exactly what she said to you. What i was thinking when i told my friend that was, i didnt really want to be with them, but i enjoyed what we have going on, and thats it. IF it were a serious connection there 3 yrs is a long time, she would have stepped up and said something to you if she wanted more. Thats how i felt about my friend, at the time i like them, we friends, but i dont want anything more than what it is, because at any time i know how to come to them and let them know whats up. So it seems like she just want things to be open, so let it be open, and go with the flow
2007-02-07 14:04:44 · answer #5 · answered by lefteye w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think basically what she means is that she doesn't want to lose your friendship if it didn't work out between you two I think (from a girls point of view) is she wants to work into having a relationship with you instead of just jumping into things. Maybe she wants to look at all her options before settling down with just one guy (maybe it could be you) I bet she'll come around when she's ready hope this helped ya
2007-02-07 13:49:54 · answer #6 · answered by slpandsfp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take a step back. I am a woman and this girl obviously doesn't feel the same way you do. You will only find out by talking to her about it. Ifshe "really" just wants to be friends, then you might need to distance yourself from her for a while.
2007-02-07 13:48:05 · answer #7 · answered by sereta zandrae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is just not ready for the big commitment and enjoys having what you guys do together. Maybe when she is ready to get serious you would be her first choice because it is always a good idea to marry your best friend
2007-02-07 13:46:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she just wants to be friends with benefits and does not want a serious relationship with you she can come and go as she pleases and still see what ever guy she wants to
2007-02-07 13:46:28 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he enjoys the relationship she currently has with you just as it is. My advice to you is to do as she asked, leave it "open" for now and see what happens. Good luck to you!
2007-02-07 13:48:52 · answer #10 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋