Weird??????????

Question

Is this weird-did I overreact?
I said to my girlfriend where she wanted to go for her birthday. She said which restaurant, and I sent her a text saying what time she wanted. She sent a text back saying the time, and so I rang the restaurant to book a table. She then tells me today that she rang the restaurant to check that I had booked the table. Don't like that!

Is that normal, or have I overreacted by saying that surely she could have trusted me to book a table. We're 18, and she lives with her mom. Today, I find out that her mom booked a table ages ago at a more expensive restaurant, with the assumption that I would take her out. However, I told her that I couldn't afford to as I'm only a student! Grr...

Normal?

Answer 1

the part that is weird is that her mother booked a table at a restaurant of her choice. sounds like she will be a major problem in the future if she were ever to become your mother in law beware!!

Answer 2

I think it's pretty weird she checked on you by calling the restaurant rather than just asking 'by the way, did you remember to make the reservation?'. But if her mom does things like that without asking then maybe that kinda stuff is normal in their family... still doesn't mean it's normal or acceptable behavior in the rest of the world, I wouldn't accept my mom or any other family member picking the restaurant where I'm gonna eat with someone else, not unless *she* is the one taking me out and paying for it! No way!

Answer 3

I do think that birthdays are important but when you are in a relationship trust is important and when your boyfriend says he will make a reservation, I would trust that he would do so knowing that it is important.

As for her mom, take this as a sign of things to come, if you continue with this relationship just realize that this girl will be heavily influenced by her mother and if you are OK with that then go ahead with the relationship if not find a way to break up and move on...good luck

Answer 4

I suppose it depends more on your past actions than anything else. Have you forgotten things regularly in the past? Have your forgotten to pick up something for her, or maybe forgot a date, or anything like that.

If it is something you do regularly, you can hardly blame her for checking to make sure you remembered this time. However, if it something you've never done or maybe done once (we all make mistakes, but repeated mistakes are a problem), I agree with you that she should show more trust. But try not to read too much into it if the second case (you aren't a major forgetter and she just overreacted), it may simply be that she wants this birthday to be very special and didn't want to leave anything to chance.

It also sounds like her mom may be somewhat controlling. My father is like that sometimes, he has regularly pushed me to start dating (no matter what the girl is like, he just wants someone) so that I can start having children. Her mother may be doing the same to her. Your girlfriend may be being pushed and doesn't want to deal with it any more than she has to, so she is doing her best to make sure everything goes down so she can get her mother off her back for a while. I did that with my father, I asked a friend to have dinner with us (and I didn't want to date the girl nor did she want to date me) just so I could convince my father I was trying.

The mother did step too far, this is your responsibility and privilege to handle (you are the one who has to pay, you are the one who has to set the mood, you are the one who gets the rewards or lack of rewards for how the night goes--not the mother); she should have stayed out of it.

If its something she does a lot (and not just this one time), it may be time to start talking with your girlfriend about possible options to take here. It may even be time to start talking with the mother about how she is handling things (but try to do it only if it something she does regularly; it may have been nothing more than she wanted to make sure the two of you had a good time).

Answer 5

The only part of this scenario that is not weird is you taking your girlfriend out for her birthday. In my humble opinion, her calling the restaurant to see if you made reservations is untrusting on her part. What if you had used the restaurant as a decoy to a surprise party for her? And as far as her mother making reservations for you at a different restaurant....Is the mother trying to prove a point here by saying if he can't afford this restaurant he is not good enough for you??? Very rude on mommy's part!

Answer 6

I'm sure her birthday dinner is important to her - and just following up with the restaurant is not wierd. The mother reserving a table in advance is a bit overbearing, though.

Answer 7

not normal. (you sound normal enough though_)

take warning - this could be a sign of troubles down the road:

a.) unless you have some extraordinary history of lying about booking tables - there is absolutely no reason for your GF to check up opn you like that.

b.) the is NO REASON for your GF's mom to be involved in booking tables on your behalf.. esp. if YOU are picking up the tab - - this is one of those things that if you do NOT establish clear boudaries will haunt your realtionship.

your realtionship needs a foundation of trust and respect - and no nosey pushy mother-in-law uneccissarily complicating things

Answer 8

Sounds normal to me I mean the her checking on the table. On the mother thing that sounds normal but annoying. She could have at least asked u first.

Answer 9

Well you can't blame her for trying to double check for you date plans. I wouldn't over react about it. Just calm down and have fun for her birthday. If you get weirded out about the little stuff like this then your relationship will be on the rocks before you know it. Just act like it never happened and it will go away. Tell her Happy Birthday for me!

Answer 10

1. That was rude of her mom to make a reservation and expect you to be able to afford that.
2. It's not uncommon for guys to have no skills like being able to make a reservation, but since you seemed to be on top of it, she should have trusted you. No need to make a big deal out of it, though.