I've been in a relationship another female for 1.5 years. This is my first same sex relationship and I feel like I love them but am attracted to no other females and always fantasizing about being with a guy. She is very serious about the relationship and wants to be with me forever. I feel completely dependent on them and fear that is why I'm staying in the relationship....what should I do? I'm terrified to be without them but we've been arguing all the time...it's just so painful. We've even seen a therapist and continue to argue. I love them with all my heart but I don't know if we're meant to be together....I'm so confused.
2007-02-07 04:29:57 · 14 answers · asked by partypooper 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm in a lesbian relationship and I don't think I'm a lesbian. Can you help?
I've been in a relationship another female for 1.5 years. This is my first same sex relationship and I feel like I love them but am attracted to no other females and always fantasizing about being with a guy. She is very serious about the relationship and wants to be with me forever. I feel completely dependent on them and fear that is why I'm staying in the relationship....what should I do? I'm terrified to be without them but we've been arguing all the time...it's just so painful. We've even seen a therapist and continue to argue. I love them with all my heart but I don't know if we're meant to be together....I'm so confused.
Also, we live together, have a dog together, and are suppose to go away together this weekend to VT..again confused....should I take a break and cancel the weekend or think it might help?
2007-02-07 06:08:52 · update #1
It's just like any relationship that isn't working. If it's not right for you, you should say so as the longer you stay with her the more you are wasting her time too. She could be finding someone that loves her.
Also, you shouldn't feel bad. You obviously given it a good go and now the brave thing to do is to end it without arguing or 'maybes' just make a clean break, it's a lot easier then long withdrawn endings.
Lesbian relationships are known to go on forever miserably before people give up on them and it's so painful and bitter in the end.
Good luck to you!
P.S You are strong enough to be independent on your own.
2007-02-07 10:12:46 · answer #1 · answered by How many questions can there be? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cancel the weekend trip,because it won't help and may make things uglier if you break up. Whatever you do, do not cheat on your lover, especially not with a guy.Lesbians are known to be posessive and feel especially betrayed when their lovers cheat on them with men. Violence can be a result. You don't sound happy in this relationship. So, let your lover know that you are not ready for a committed relationship at this time. Let you know that you love her but you need time to find yourself and you know that it is not fair or right to "find yourself" on her time. After the breakup, don't make any effort to start up any new relationship or hook up right away. Concentrate on self-improvement. Get a makeover or spa treatment. Mend fences with any of the friends and family members who you may have pissed off when you decided to enter into a lesbian relationship. Have fun doing some of the things you stopped doing because your partner wasn't interested in or didn't want you doing. Take a class or finish a degree program. Do some volunteer work. How's your relationship with God? That's the most important relationship you can have, you know.
2007-02-08 08:30:46 · answer #2 · answered by MsE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If at all possible, you should get some space. you won't be able to think clearly about this until you've spent some time away from her. Youare obviously confused about all of this, and all the arguing is just going to make it worse. Love is not something to be taken lightly, as a very wise man once told me "you can spend your whole life looking for the one you can live with, but when you find the one you cant live without, you know you've got something." Love is a strong complicated powerful thing, just remember to balance your heart and your mind befire deciding youre in love. Good luck to you.
2007-02-07 04:39:45 · answer #3 · answered by zoomchuck 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're fantasizing about guys. Have you been with one? You may actually be bisexual. That does not mean you can't be in a lesbian relationship. That is the point about being bi, but choosing one sex over the other.
As for your relationship, how many are in it? You keep saying "them".
A relationship is a partnership. Remember that. If you want out, you should discuss it and, if you are going in different directions or are not happy, end it. If you are in a relationship and you are not happy, then you have to ask why.
2007-02-07 04:58:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should take a break from this relationship. Obviously your needs aren't being met. Just tell her you need some time to sort out somethings and learn how to be indpendent before you want to make a life long commitment. This way you can date guys and see if you want to stay with her, or opt for a different romantic relationship. It would hurt you later if you didn't because you would continue to have "what if" questions. Just take a chance, because you don't want to be constantly wondering. I hope my advice helps if you decide to take it.
2007-02-07 04:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by QueenofLeon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be with someone just because your afraid to hurt the other person! You deserve to be happy too you know! I think you need to take a break from eachother to determine what should be done, having space will determine whether you should be together or not.
2007-02-07 04:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by ♥AMO♥ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe going to iFilm and watching some lesbo videos will turn you on. My friend is a lesbo, so i let her use me for practice, and she always goes on iFilm after 2 get hooked on lesbo things,, and 2 no how to hav good sex and such. if that doesnt work, break up with her. Also, they show great lesbo relationships so it might help.
2007-02-07 13:06:20 · answer #7 · answered by Sam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that it is all kinda new to u and if u liked boys before and still do or have doubts abt the relationship i think it is time for a change or breakup!!! lvs
2007-02-07 04:37:32 · answer #8 · answered by emioly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could bring a man into the picture for some fun.
2007-02-07 04:36:09 · answer #9 · answered by Kwijibo 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
the way u keep saying "them" instead of "her" makes me think...
2007-02-07 04:35:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋