How do I get my 2 1/2 yr old to listen?

Question

I am a single mother and I am only 21 years old. My son never listens. I tried talking to him, I tried yelling at him, and I tried popping him on the butt. No matter what I do, he still doesn't listen and he yells and screams more no matter what approach I take! :( What should I do to get him to listen and stop yelling and screaming?

What he doesn't listen to. I ask him to clean up his toys, I ask him to wash his hands to eat lunch, dinner etc., I ask him to be quiet when others are sleeping, he won't do it. I have tried the time out thing and it semi-worked, but I gave up on it because he figured out I can't sit there and watch him so he sneaks off and goes to doing something else. How long should I put him in timeout?

Thank you everyone except the person who said to slap him. All of your advice will stay with me because I wrote it all down. Thank you again, you are very much appreciated!

Answer 1

Put him in a time out chair..
You'll be surprised how well this can work.

Answer 2

Be consistent and lower your own voice a few decibels. Don't give in to tantrums. Explain things on his level. For instance, if he is upset because it is bedtime, do something like this: have a solid routine. Bedtime is at 8 o'clock. At 7 it is bathtime. After bathtime it is settling down time doing quieter activities like looking at books, coloring, doing a puzzle. About fifteen minutes before bedtime, let him know that in fifteen minutes it is bedtime. Say it matter of factly. Use a deeper voice and stay calm (kids respond better to lower voices). Let him continue doing what he's doing, letting him know every five minutes that it's almost bedtime. At 8, take him by the hand, lead him to bed and tuck him in. Be very quiet and calm...even if he isn't. Kiss him goodnight and turn off the lights. If he comes out. Don't say anything, just quietly put him back into bed. Repeat until he stays in bed.
That's basically the same technique for anything. If he's causing trouble, put him in a specific place, let him know that what he did was inappropriate and that he must sit there for 2 minutes (a minute per child's age). He must sit there and the time begins again every time you have to put him back there. Don't say anything when you are putting him back in the spot. Also, when he is doing something well, encourage it! If he picks up a toy, cheer! Focus on the positive things and be patient. Remember, even though you're young, you are the adult and you are the one who controls the situation. Keep your voice really quiet as much as possible. I knew a preschool teacher who lost her voice and still kept control of the class because she always spoke quietly and had the respect of the 2-3 year olds. It can be done, but it requires consistency and patience.

Answer 3

Consistency is the key! Discplining your child isn't easy, it takes work and dedication. If the timeouts were working, then why give up!

If you child understands what you're asking from him, then you may need to encourage him. If he needs your assistance then help him sometimes until he gets use to the routine and what you expect from him.

Remember your tone of voice is also helpful. You need to be stern in your voice when you're telling him to do something that he refusing to do. It's not the yelling or screaming that helps, but the tone of voice you use. If he is the one screaming and yelling at him, make sure to let him know that that behavior is not acceptable.

Sit him in a quiet place for a timeout and when his 2 minute (a minute for every year of age) timeout is up...talk to him in a nuturing voice and let him know that he that whatever behavior got him there in the first place wasn't accpetable. Ask him if he understands what you're saying and if he does, then forewarn him that if he doesn't listen to you then he will continue to get timeouts.

Another tip, if he gets up from timeout without your permission, set him back down. Tell him the 2 minute timeout starts over each time he gets up without permission. Using a timer might be helpful.

Good luck! Don't give up...be strong...your efforts will be rewarded.

Answer 4

My three year old has had a hard time learning this lesson. But the fact of the matter is listening is a learned habit. You have to teach him to listen...so I have been told. I have not perfected this yet, but I have started "Stop Look & Listen" when he does not do this he gets sent to time out for 2 minutes and then I sit and talk to him about what it means to Stop (what ever you are doing) Look (at the person who is speaking) and Listen ( this is the part I am still trying to get down). Things to do when you are trying to teach "listening" bring him out doors and do the "What do I hear" Game. Make listening a fun learning experience so that he/or she does not think that listening is just hearing mommy yell at me. Keep up with the "talk in turn" and just stay consistant. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Many have already pointed out consistency in your actions, and I agree with that.

Spank him. If he yells and screams then do it again. Keep doing it every time he yells and screams. He'll get the message sooner or later that if he throws a tantrum he gets hurt (not permanently so, but I suspect you already know the difference between spanking and abuse; and there is a big difference).

At 2 years old he is testing boundaries anyway, but it sounds like he is somewhat stubborn. It can be a good thing for him to have in the future; but you want him to be able to stand by convictions, not be a jerk.

Now is the time to train into him the idea that all of his actions will have consequences. When he does something wrong, correct him as many times as necessary to end him doing something wrong. In time as he grows older, he'll learn to reason when the time is to fight and when the time is to hold back; and you'll will be proud of how good a mother you were to have raised such a son. But you must stick with it now to do so.

Answer 6

Don't beat up on yourself so badly. To me several people have given you great responses. I would say to follow through with them. It is obvious your child is going through those terrible twos age. This is my opinion, your child need a spankin and all of this toys taken away. I didn't say to scream at him or raise your voice but when you speak calmly to him and he still doesn't do what mommy tells him to do. Then it is time to be tough. If you don't get him straight at home, how do you expect him to listen to you in public?? I can't stand anything more than an unruly child in the stores. The first thing I say is how the mother expect that child to act right, if she is not discipline him/her at home. It starts at home and the sooner you break him up from his bad behavior the better. I know you have your hands full but I'm sure you will have things runnin smoothly in no time.

Answer 7

Sometimes physical discipline can work wonders other times its a more creative approach needed. Try starting with a timeout somewhere he can't see his toys or tv or anything but a blank wall. Taking his favorite toys away or tv time,find something he loves a lot and take it from him for longer and longer periods of time as he doesn't listen. I am not sure what he's not listening but these things were helpful for me with my oldest when spanking failed and still does more creative less loud and painful approaches actually did.

Answer 8

Take the crib down and submit a toddler mattress or a daily twin length mattress. he's too stepped ahead for the crib now, and it really is were given to be a soreness to save hefting him again in over and once better. once you've a mattress he can climb into on his personal, you do not should be stricken about it. Double gate his mattress room door (one on proper of the different) or purely close it and positioned a baby's protection element on the doorknob so he can not open it, and then he will be constrained to his room and could not wander around the residing house at the same time as each body is asleep. Tuck him in, say goodnight, and then leave. If he choses to upward push up and play or sleep on the floor--it truly is as a lot as him. After some difficult nights he will sleep contained in the mattress. For day vacation, he's previous adequate to hearken to you and do not forget that he has to sit nonetheless in day vacation. Get down on his element, take him via the shoulders, look in his eyes, and tell him that he's being undesirable and he has to sit in day vacation. position him contained in the nook or on a chair, and then walk away. If he receives up and runs away, seize him and positioned him again contained in the nook and repeat the completed eye contact/lecture blend till he sits there for 2 minutes. Flimsy palms and going limp? it truly is a 2 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous. My daughter does a similar element! you purely were given to get the coat on and drag them out the door, or if he's extremely appearing up about it enable him flow coatless to the motorcar. It gained't kill him. at the same time as he yells that it really is chilly, provide the coat again. one better element: verify he's getting adequate nap time. A drained youngster is a foul youngster.

Answer 9

First thing, yes you are talking about a 2 1/2 year old, so don't expect your child to get things right the first time around. Yes, yelling and screaming never helps, it just makes the situation worse.

When you scream and yell at them, they feel threatened. Try to talk to them in a more calmer voice. If that doesn't help, after asking them to yelling/screaming/crying. Walk away. Allow your son to yell/scream/cry his heart out. He'll stop eventually when he knows that he's not going to get that attention. Once he's done yelling/screaming/crying, immediately go to him. Pick him up and say something like "Do you feel better now?" Or if you were in the middle of something, "Are you ready to___?".

Washing Hands. Make this into a game, maybe make up a song to wash his hands. Do this with him several times or until he gets that down. Trust me this works for me. I've made up a way that my daughter thinks its a game, so when I ask her to wash her hands. She does it, while doing that game on her own.

Eating meals. First off, keep the portions to a childs portion. Set a time for your child to eat his meals. I was told to allow our kids to have 30 minutes to eat. Yes, tell your child that he only has 30 minutes to eat. Once the 30 minutes is up, take the food away. To make things easier, maybe get a timer and set it where your son see's it. Continue to do this, after a while your child will realize that when it's time to eat, it's time to eat. Yes, it has helped for my eldest daughter. She soon realized that if she doesn't eat, she doesn't get the treats and have to wait for the next meal of the day. You can also make things that looks fun, that encourages your son to eat.

As for keeping him quiet when others are sleeping. Allow him to watch something or do something that keeps him occupied. I've done this many times. Once my husband goes to bed and my son isn't tired just yet. I allow him to watch cartoons to keep him calm or let him play with non-noisy toys.

As for time-out, for your son, the best thing to do is sit with him. Yes, I understand that you can be busy with him. In time, doing this would help you out. I've read, that this mother holds her child in her lap, away from the tv and the rest of the family. Until her child has calme down, to serve as a time out. Of course, you could also, use your son's car seat too. I've used that many of times already and my son knows it's business when I do that.

I hope that my suggestions helps out for you and I do apologize for such a long response.

Answer 10

Say his name, hold him gently by his upper arms, make him look into your face, and speak seriously and softly about what you want him to do.

You need to be consistent in what you do, he senses you are out of control as you have tried so many different ways, but it's not consistent.

There is a great book called 1 2 3 Magic that I suggest you get.

Answer 11

When you speak to him stop him by putting your hand on his shoulder or arm and tell him to repeat what you just said to make sure he understood what you said. The child should then respond to your request however if not then punishment should be right away stop him again hand on shoulder and ask him what did you say for him to do ? Keep doing this every time and it sometimes helps to get down to thier level and look them in the eyes!!