what do I say to mother in law and hubby if i don't want MIL in delivery room?

Question

I'm 36 weeks pregnant. Everyone thinks i'm going to go early b/c of my size. VERY LARGE BELLY! My hubby has been saying since day one that if my mom is in the delivery room then his mom is going to be in there, no questions asked. The thing is, I do not want her in there. I want my hubby, my mom, and the doula....what do i say to him or her with out hurtinig their feelings. These are very emotional people i might add!!!

Answer 1

The delivery of your child is between you and your husband only. Don't allow any moms in there

Answer 2

have you tried speaking in confidence to your MIL about it?

she's been through childbirth afterall - just explain you love her, want her to be a part of grandkids upbringin etc - - but don't want her in the delivery room as you are already stressed and worried.. then you can leave hubby out of the decision altogether

perhaps you can give her some sort of important duty to do otherwise - like ttend to the home, cleanup for arrival - or something.

good luck.

Answer 3

Every woman wants there mother. He thinks this is a mom contest. He needs to understand that you do not feel comfortable with his mother in the room with your legs in the air giving birth. I don't think that she will be comfortable as well. She can be there but once delivery time she needs to go.

Answer 4

You are the one you has to experience this and if you feel that having your MIL in the room will stress you out, then don't have her there. Your husband needs to understand that you are the one pushing a baby out. Everybody experiences labor differently. Some people lose their inhibitions and don't care and then there were people like me who only wanted the staff and husband there.

But if you want to be fair, then I would suggest not having any mothers in the room, yours and his.

Answer 5

ouch!!! hard subject... put it to the point, you are already going to be uncomfortable enough, you dont need any added stressors. Im a momma's girl too so I had my mom in the room with my first, and fully intend for her to be there with this one. I wasn't married before, and luckily I love my husbands mother, so I hope she wants to be in the room. Maybe try letting them know it is just uncomfortable for you, try letting them know it is okay for her to stay up to the point of delivery and let her in directly after. If it is not good enough for your husband, tell him to have the next one... lol!

Answer 6

Talk to your doula and have her explain that while you adore your MIL - that for the best birth experience for you - you want to keep it more of a private experience. But tell you MIL you certainly want her to be the very first visitor that gets to come in and welcome the new baby as soon as it is born.

Answer 7

My MIL grow to be contained in the delivery room for my toddler. She and that i'm getting alongside properly, yet we are not like best friends or something. before each thing my hubby & I purely needed it to be us, yet then wanting to have a get jointly. My mom & Dad were there, and his mom grow to be there (Dad in spirit, on account that he has kicked the bucket). before each thing it grow to be superb, purely magnificent out, chatting, then the contractions began, and enable me inform you she grow to be an extremely good help. Very supportive. She grow to be also useful to my husband. there have been some minor subject matters in my difficult artwork (very minor), regardless of the indisputable fact that it grow to be adequate to scare him, and that i understand he felt better effective that his mom grow to be there too. He had a blood relative to lean on at the same time as he concept that me or the toddler were in any harm, Now, am I that tender with the shown reality that she talked about each thing, properly no i'm not, yet she is a woman, and she or he went by skill of difficult artwork too, she is time-honored with of what that is like. before your ideas is actual made up about not having her there, talk which includes your hubby, he ought to extremely decide on some help there for him too (it should be very stressful for Dad's too). best needs and congrats. EDIT - I examine "Jenny's~" remark about not understanding she grow to be even contained in the room at the same time as the toddler grow to be born, that is so authentic. there have been about 20 people contained in the room between relatives & team, and all that I bear in ideas grow to be our new relatives of three!! I heavily do not bear in ideas everybody else contained in the room.

Answer 8

you know it's all up to you, you need to talk to his mom and let her know that you dont need the added stress of to many people being in there. while having a baby the natural thing is to want your mom..... you dont need his in there. tell her she can come in after you have the baby and everything is covered up. there is nly a few minutes that she would have to wait. that's what I did with my aunt. remember, your the pregnant one, and you should get what you want at all times, just be blunt. Good luck on the birth of your baby!

Answer 9

Tell him that since YOU are the person whose private area is going to be out there for everyone to see, then YOU are the person who is going to decide who's going to be in there with you.

Ask your husband that if he was going in for hemmorhoid surgery, would he feel okay if YOUR dad was in the room? LOL

If they keep pressuring you, then just have your doula there.
You need calm surroundings.

Good luck!

Answer 10

the delivery room is just for you and your husband but if it makes you feel safer with your mom in there go ahead. tell your hubby that you don't want his mom in there besides you don't want her telling everyone how your part looks...LOL...