A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting, when one of them grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba's dead from one of them thar' heart attacks! What should Ah do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, you've got to make sure he's dead."
There is a silence... and then a gun shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now whut?"
2007-02-07 04:07:56 · 19 answers · asked by Jodi C 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Loving this! :)
2007-02-08 00:41:37 · answer #1 · answered by Jay A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea,I can't stand the stupid mother ******* either. They all think they're the perfect image of America. There country music bullshit,there shitty *** pick up trucks. I live in the city projects and I swear there's more ******* skeet rods in here than anything else. one of them even has the nerve to have a bumper sticker that reads "Back off city boy" What the ****?! You do realize your living in the CITY projects,that's what the trailer parks for country boy. I also can't stand how ******* racist they are. They're one of the mane reasons racism still lives. I'm a white boy but my wife and two step children are black and I'll knock a mother ****** out if I ever hear a racist comment towards my family or anybody else that's around. BAN ALL REDNECKS FROM THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!
2016-05-24 03:13:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! Yup, one of my favorite jokes! Along with this one...
Q: So your running through a field in a canoe and your wheel falls off...how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house?
A: Purple because ice cream doesn't have bones!
and this one...
There are two muffins in an oven the first muffin turns to the second one and says "man, sure is hot in here" the second muffin responds "OMG! A talking muffin!!"
ROTFLMAO!! Ok I'm done...you may continue with your life now!
2007-02-07 04:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by ηєvєrmorє 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The management at Sesame Street was having trouble keeping drivers on their bus route. It seemed like every week they would have to hire a new driver because the last one would have quit. So, when they hired Maxine they warned her that the job would entail a certain degree of crowd control along with her duties as a bus driver.
"No problem" she replied, "I've handled plenty of tough cookies in my time." She thought to herself "This is going to be a piece of cake!"
The first day on her route she comes to her first stop. There at the bust stop stands a cow. MAxine figures, OK, this is odd. But she stops the bus and opens the door. "Hi, my name is Maxine, and I'm your new driver on the Sesame Street bus. What is your name?"
The cow replied "My name is Patty!" At the next stop another cow is waiting at the stop. Maxine pulls the bus over, and opens the door. "Hi, my name is Maxine, welcome to the Sesame Street bus! What's your name?"
The new cow replied "My name is Patty!" She then turns and sits in the seat next to the other Patty.
At the third stop there is a boy wandering aimlessly around the bench. Maxine stops the bus and opens the door. The boy shuffles onto the bus. "Hi, my name is Maxine, and I'm your new driver on the Sesame Street bus. What's your name?
The boy just looks dumbly at her. Then the first Patty speaks up. "His name is Ross, and he is what we call a 'special' student."
Maxine says to Ross "Well Ross, it sure is nice to have you aboard. I hope you enjoy your ride to sesame street."
No sooner does the bus get underway, and Ross starts making disgusting noises at the two cows, and it isn't long before they start doing what cows do, and making a mess of the bus.
At the final stop another boy gets on the bus. "Hi driver" he says as he runs to the back of the bus.
"Wait, not so fast" says Maxine, "I want to get to know my students." So he comes back up and she says to him "My name is Maxine. I'm your new driver, what is your name?"
He looks at her and says "My name is Lester Cleese, can I go now please?" Then he runs to the back of the bus.
The bus barely gets moving and Lester takes his shoes off. Soon the cows are screaming "EEEEEEWWW, Lester is picking the bunions on his feet and throwing them at us. Make him stop!"
Maxine has had more than she can handle. She speeds to the school practically shoves the kids out the door, and then storms into the school office. "That's it, I QUIT!!!! I can't handle this job!"
The principal says to her "You mean you are quitting too? Why do you want to quit?"
"I just can't take it" she says. "We had two all beef Patties, special Ross, and Lester Cleese picking bunions on the Sesame Street Bus!"
2007-02-07 06:07:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love the joke. It reminds me of this one:
Q: What is big and green and kills you when it falls out of a tree?
A: A pooltable.
2007-02-07 05:07:29 · answer #5 · answered by NIKKO23_99 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ahahhaha 10/10
2007-02-07 04:12:30 · answer #6 · answered by ssuasw 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love them Redneck jokes!
2007-02-07 05:39:21 · answer #7 · answered by BlahBlahBlah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family all live in Alabama except me, I escaped....your joke is a riot and on its way to the deep south as we speak........thanks...
2007-02-07 04:46:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
cute-but you can see the punchline coming before the end.
2007-02-07 04:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by JenJen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He He. A little chuckle. Was funny though. :-D
2007-02-07 04:19:40 · answer #10 · answered by Doodle 186 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good joke!
2007-02-07 06:18:22 · answer #11 · answered by get fuzzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋