I have 3 sisters, and we we're all in my brother's wedding as bridesmaids. We've all been in my sister's wedding, as well as my brother. We've known the bride for a very long time, so she was able to accept us being in the party quite easily, which forced her to choose two of her friends as maids of honor. Her brothers and cousin are my brother's groomsmen, as well as my sister's husband, and two of his buddies are his best men. My boyfriend and I have discussed what we will do for our wedding, and this came across as a big issue. I want my brother in my wedding, supporting me. He doesn't really know my brother that well, and hasn't really had the chance to get to know him. He has a lot of good buddies that he'd like as his groomsmen- but some more than others. If he had the chance to get to know my brother (since we're not even engaged yet) would it be considered ok for me to expect him to allow my brother as his groomsmen? What would you do?
2007-02-07 03:58:59 · 11 answers · asked by arduA826 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Men don't always get to pick all the groomsmen, and the bride doesn't always get to pick all the bridesmaids. It's one big wedding party, and if you think of it that way I think your problem will be solved.
Let's say you're having 8 attendants each, for example. That means you each get to pick 4. bridesmaid or groomsman...it doesn't matter. You each get 4.
So, you may choose 3 bridesmaids and 1 groomsman (your brother). If he had a sister, I'm sure he'd pick her as a bridesmaid. If he doesn't want to choose any bridesmaids, that's fine too...but your brother should still be in the party, regardless of how well your future groom knows him.
2007-02-07 04:06:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your brother supporting YOU, and have him stand with you. Male brides"men" are happening more and more these days. If your fiance wants his friends standing up with him, you shouldn't ask him to have your brother simply because he's your brother. Reverse the situation, what if your fiance had a sister you didn't know very well, you probably wouldn't want her standing with you, would you? Your wedding will be very personal, and special to you, that's all that matters. Don't worry about having a guy on the girls side, and all that foolishness, if it's important to you to have your brother in your wedding, have him stand with you. Either that, or have him do a reading or something. But I'd have him standing up there with me if I were you. Good luck with whatever you decide.
2007-02-07 04:17:42 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! You never ever ever want to hurt someone's feeling about a wedding...especially in your family! Its ok if there aren't as many bridesmaids as there are groomsmen. They can walk in seperately and people don't really notice what's going on when they're walking out because the important people, bride and groom, have already exited.
2007-02-07 04:15:57 · answer #3 · answered by Jess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if the groom doesn't know him that well, I still think your brother should be in the wedding, as well as all your sisters. And the same is true for his family, as well. The only time I have ever heard of a sibling NOT being in the wedding is if there's bad blood there somewhere.
2007-02-07 04:21:11 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your brother! Of course he should be in your wedding. If not he may feel left out. Your boyfriend needs to get over it. Im sure that he may have someone he would like to be a bridesmaid and even if he doesn't it doesn't matter how well he knows your brother, HE is YOUR brother!
2007-02-07 04:38:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely!
We had a similar situation in my wedding. I have a first cousin that's like my little brother. Love him to death. And i had no brothers. So i asked my hubby to be about it, and he was like, "I can't believe it took you that long to ask! Of course."
Hopefully you will get the same response.
But he should be ok with it. Just ask him. It doesn't hurt to ask.
My hubby didn't know my cousin all that well either, but he was so close (like a brother) he knew what I would want.
Hope this helped, and wish ya the best!
2007-02-07 04:04:32 · answer #6 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is ALL about compromise. If he can't suck it up and let your brother stand up there with the rest of his "buddies" then you know EXACTLY where you stand in this guy's life. It sounds like he's just being a bully.
BTW, if he's going to be a complete jackass about this, then remember that it's no longer forbidden to have cross-gendered attendants. My husband had his best friend ... a WOMAN ... stand up for him as his Best Person (as opposed to Best Man). If your darling wants to push the issue, make your brother a Man of Honor or a Bride's Master.
2007-02-07 05:26:48 · answer #7 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldnt expect it. I am not a big fan of the "They were in mine I should be in theirs" mentality. I dont think its always necessary to reciprocate such an honor, especially if you are asking for him to be one of the men that stand with your fiance. He should be able to choose who he wants. HOWEVER, there is no law saying that he couldnt stand up with you. If its that important to you and your fiance is resisting the idea of having him on his side, put him on your side instead. He is afterall a dear person to you and thats what standing up at the altar with the bride and groom is all about. Male or female if they mean something to you then aks them to stand with you.
Best wishes.
2007-02-07 04:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definetely include your brother. My brother is going to be one of our groomsmen, and one of my fiance's cousins that I don't know too well is going to be one of my bridesmaids. Let him know how you feel :)
2007-02-07 04:38:58 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs.Neville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully, your guy will respect your family enough to ask your brother to be a groomsman in your wedding.
You aren't engaged yet? Why are you planning then.....
2007-02-07 06:56:37 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋