Probably have asked too many questions like this but things just keep changing...?

Question

My daughters father keeps blaming me for everything! He is court ordered to only have supervised visitaion one hour once a month unless he can dane a person he knows that can pass a background check the supervisor...then he can see her when ever the supervisor is available and I am available. He hasn't done that yet and things have been this way for 14 months...this is beside the other things the court said he had to complete which he hasn't yet. I got pulled over this morning for a suspended lisence I kne NOTHING about and come ti find out it was for unpaid tickets that my daughters father got in MY car!! I was livid and an hour late to work and I wasn't supposed to be driving after I got pulled over but what was I to do...couldn't get ahold of my mom or husband!! Next thing I know I get to work and the jerk (my daughters father) call me and says that I am ruining the relationship between him and HIS daughter and then hung up...this was due to him missing his visitation today. (cont.)

This is the second visitation he has missed and they are both MY fault! I don't see how! Yes I knew about it, the lady called me yesterday to see if I had heard from my ex about it and of course I hadn't. He did tell me the other day that I need to stay out of his business and his case and technically I did. I didn't think it was my place to tell him his one hour to see Aliyah was today. He just started ranting and raving. He is an awful father and hasn't seen our daughter in 2 months which will NOT look so good in court next week. He also plans on not going to court because my husband is going to go with me. My husband is (to me) more of a father than her real dad and he loves her to death and he wants to be there so I don't see why not. I guess what I am asking is...Am I wrong for not reminding him? Am I being a bad mom? I really feel like I am just protecting her. Every time I speak to my ex, he has something negative to say and ALWAYS asks for Aliyah like this... (cont.)

"let me speak to my daughter." I can't take this insanity and putting down anymore. Can I get a restraining order? and if so under what terms and can it be in regards to my daughter so she is protected too, not that she already isn't because he will be arrested if he see her other than visitation. I can't afford a lawyer to start a different case, I already have one but he doesn't like to call me back. I would really just like to forget this idiot ever existed.

Answer 1

Three things:

1. It is natural for him to try to blame you for everything. By making you look bad, he helps his position. He may well want to try to get his kid back, but it is also possible it is merely revenge on his part.

2. If he got tickets in YOUR car, then HE is liable to pay for them. Also, calling you against your will is harrassment. If he keeps doing it, it is stalking. Talk to the police about all of this. Specifically ask to talk to a victim advocate, who will be more helpful in helping you, the victim, than an officer might be. You may even be able to get a restraining order against him. Then if he contacts you, he will go to jail.

3. TALK TO YOUR ATTORNEY! What he is doing is likely illegal. It is obvious he is trying to cause problems, and the only way to stop him is to go through the legal process. It is hard, but it is necessary.

Good luck! A manipulative, conniving ex is one of the most streI wish you the best of luckssful and difficult things to deal with. Take comfort in your friends and family, and make sure you have some fun once in awhile. You need to relieve yourself of the stress as much as possible. Have some fun with your daughter, especially, and make sure you let her know how much you love her! She is the main victim in all of this.

Answer 2

U dont have to remind him thats his responsibility and he was the one that told u to stay out of his life. Get the restraining order and change your phone number he can go through his superviser if he has anything to say.