My boyfriend is a very hardworking man, loyal and all the good thing a woman would ever ask for a man.
He is also a dedicated Apostolic Christian. He goes to church every Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday
(Church Service, Sunday School etc.) Also, he wakes up at 3am every single day just to pray, read the bible and
bible study online before going to work. It drives me crazy and I am getting worried, He was one time upset
because he missed church for a day or two because they had to work late in the office. He said he would
considerlooking for another job if that happens again. He also brings his very huge and thick Bible wherever
he goes and reads it whenever possible (lunch break etc). He have read the Bible back to back a million times
over and over again and he said he would still do over and over again. (note he also reads Bible Study online)
He also mentioned that he prays for me everyday that I would go to heaven and blah bla
2007-02-07 03:21:27 · 33 answers · asked by Faith H 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I told him he is a
fu(king crazy guy for doing so. He also admitted that he would consider becoming a Pastor in the future not unless
I disagree. It is really driving me crazy as hell. I am worried he might turn into some Bible thumper lunatic
one day. Most of the time when we are just carrying a normal conversation...'well, the bible says..."
We are getting married next year and now I am having second thoughts. Don't get me wrong, I was aware
he is a religious person when we were just dating. But as the year passed, I think he is over doing it.
Do you agree he is over doing it?
2007-02-07 03:21:59 · update #1
A person is more of what they are after marriage than before marriage. So, this type of behavior will likely continue (or increase) after marriage.
As a Christian myself, I think it's admirable that he is dedicated to the faith; however, I am wondering what his reasoning behind it is. If he is trying to earn his favor before God, then he has the wrong motive. If he is just being zealous in his dedication, then there is some balance to be attained.
However, the Bible states (2 Cor. 6:14): "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" This verse (and the context which it is written in) is traditionally taken to mean that if someone is a Christian, that they should not marry a non-Christian. This is not because Christians are better (rather, a true Christian will know that he or she is not because he or she understands the sinfulness of sin), but rather because it will create many problems in a marriage. This has been further applied to be that a Christian shouldn't date or court a non-Christian because the purpose of dating or courting someone (at least, for Christians) is to possibly end up in marriage.
You may not agree or like what I've stated, but it's the Biblical point of view nonetheless. Good luck.
2007-02-07 03:31:33 · answer #1 · answered by Sidewinder 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
My dear:
He is a bible-thumper all ready.
If this is driving you crazy...this is very important. You two have a very divergent issue that you either have to except as a part of him---for a long, long time. Its not that you are a non-believer...you believe differently. I understand this.
What concerns me a little, about your situation, was he like this for as long as you have known him??
If he wasn't...something happened to where he has felt compelled to become VERY repentant. Excessive religion is a personal preference (not normal to me...but it is a difference that have of others)...I know MANY ministers, priests and pastors that do NOT go to lunch and read the bible like that. It is their life, but something has either slipped or something has happened to where the only place to address it is with the Big G or he has possibly decided to delve into religion to cover something up. I might be wrong.
If you are considering your marriage to the man, that is a big clue right there. I will tell you something, right here and now--I had had a little doubt about an issue that I had with my spouse, but I decided that I could live with it...well, 15 years later it became an issue that helped to break us up. This kind of thing happened to a friend of mine, as well. I seriously recommend that you take a good look at your relationship and decide if marriage, to this individual, is seriously the way you want to go.
2007-02-07 03:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you need to think about what you have in common. Religion can be a big issue in a relationship. He doesn't sound crazy, but why are you to together. Can you let him live his religious life w/o conflict? If not, if it will be an issue maybe you two need to reconsider if you should be together. Let him know what you think, feel & your beliefs. Don't do it in a negative defensive/offensive way. Sounds like you both have some soul searching to do, before you walk down the isle. I was religious before I got married, went to church & it was a big part of my life...but my views & feelings have changed since then....
Good Luck
2007-02-07 03:31:40 · answer #3 · answered by shouldbworkn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i had a taste of the way the apostolic believe. and while i do not think they are correct in many of their teachings i believe they think they are doing their best obey God.and he sounds like he is doing every thing he can to obey God according to his faith. except of course for the fact that he is about to marry someone that does not share his faith. if you are having problems now they will only get worse after your marriage. think about it. you will not agree on what to teach your children religiously. or how to live or anything else that would affect his beliefs and yours. God says not to unequally yoke yourself for a reason. i am sure you are a very nice girl. but as long as his faith is between you you will not be happy. my only advice is to give his church a chance and if you cannot accept his beliefs maybe you should reconsider your marriage.
2007-02-07 03:45:22 · answer #4 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will not change, and if you are going to continue a relationship with him, just be prepared for that.
You may want to encourage him to get into the ministry, if that's where he feels he belongs. That much time being devoted to church activities means that he needs to think about a different career than whatever he is doing right now.
2007-02-07 03:29:46 · answer #5 · answered by ccrider 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is not overdoing it. He is following the Holy Spirit's lead. God has a calling for him that he has recognized and he is doing most of what he needs to follow it.
I don't mean to judge you, but are you saved? If not, I really cannot figure out why he would consider marrying you. The Bible plainly says that Christians are not to be unequally yoked (as God knew that it would cause problems with marriage). Unequally yoked is a Christian and a non-Christian. And, if you end up divorced, he cannot be a pastor. What is he thinking?
If I could speak to him, I would remind him that God's Word tells us not to be unequally yoked and that he is deliberately disobeying God if he marries you.
I disobeyed God and now I suffer through a very bad marriage. If you both marry and you are already miserable (and I'm sure it causes him some misery too), wait until you marry and have been for quite some time and you are always being convicted of your sinfulness, and you become bored because he does not like to engage in the same things that you do.
Your boyfriend loves God more than he could ever love you and that is how it should be. I love God more than my husband.
2007-02-07 03:28:44 · answer #6 · answered by Christian93 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I am not the same as he is although I am also religious. However, I have no right to say he is overdoing it. For him, it may still be not enough sans his temper when he missed attending to his religious chores because of his job.
The only thing i am worried about is you if you are having thoughts of being with him for the rest of your lives. You just have to get ready for he may require you to be the same as he is when time comes and you might feel it's being imposed upon.
Why not try to know which would be more important to him someday...his religious obligations over his commitment to you on a very imporatant situation for you. I am not trying to tell you to compete with his attention to God but just to measure if his commitment is on the border of fanaticism already. Then assess yourself honestly if you can live with that. I can see that it is you who will be doing a lot of adjustments. If your love is so great that you are willing to change for him then I wish you all the best.
2007-02-07 03:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by Rallie Florencio C 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you're not a believer, then he is being disobedient. Believers are not to be yoked together with unbelievers. (II Corinthians 6:14) If you are a believer, and you love him, you ought to be like-minded with him, otherwise this is going to (and apparently has started to) drive you nuts.
Marriage is about looking out for your spouse. As the husband, he is responsible for being the priest of the home and looking out for the family's well-being. You are to be his helper and partner in the faith. If you aren't, I can only predict disaster later.
You need to have a talk with him, and let him know your thoughts about all this. You know how he is, and if you continue towards marriage, knowing what you know about him, you will have only yourself to blame later, if you become discouraged because he won't change.
Either accept him as he is, or bail out now before it's too late.
2007-02-07 03:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Dump him.
If his devotion is to his Bible and not you, he's not worth your time. You're so worried about him becoming a Bible thumping lunatic... he already is one. Why do you want to get married to this man? I can guarantee you that divorce is inevitable. If he has a problem with supporting his future wife through a job that makes him work late and possibly miss religious services, then you have a lot more than his sanity to worry about.
He should be more concerned about missing your birthday over missing a church service.
I really hate to break it to you, because you seem like a concerned girlfriend, but your guy loves his religion and his self-righteousness more than he'll ever love you.
2007-02-07 03:24:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 3⤋
No it is his conviction and if you do not share his faith and accept him why would you be getting married?
It does not sound that your relationship is very strong or that you are a very mature person, if he is a religious as you say then you must have seen this from the beginning and not just now become aware of it. If it is something new then perhaps you forgot to relate the religious conversion that took place in his life.
2007-02-07 03:26:23 · answer #10 · answered by jegreencreek 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋