My sister was with a guy for nearly 9 years. She gave him an ultimatum 5 years ago and said that if he didn't want to move their relationship to the next level, she wanted out. He said that he was okay with things just the way they were. She didn't want the status quo so they went their separate ways.
Now she wants to contact him after all these years. She's dated many men and had other relationships since but believes that he is "the one" .
She was told that he was living with someone but she says that she would like "to just talk to him" and tell him how much she "regrets the breakup". She thinks maybe he does, too.
Although she may be unable to get over him, I think she needs to get past him. If she was "the one" for him, he would have been able to commit back then. Besides, too much time has passed.
I'd like to be more supportive and hate to discourage her feelings but I think calling and/or seeing him will only open the wound.
Any advice? She's 53, he's 58.
2007-02-07 03:19:38 · 5 answers · asked by Angela 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hmm, I was reading that all the way through, thinking - yes, she absolutely should contact him, if that's the way she feels.
Lots of people I know aren't ready to settle down (say in their early twenties), but once they've been around a bit, they know more about what they want. And I would think fair enough.
But then I hit your last sentence, I thought if he's 58, and didn't know if he wanted to commit at 53, then he never will.
Definitely discourage it!
2007-02-07 03:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by the_ref 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is living with someone she will most likey be disapointed , because he will not give his life up the way it is now you should tell her that this is not a wise idea..He has already moved on and she needs to too..
2007-02-07 11:24:48 · answer #2 · answered by Denny O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one way or the other, talking to him should help her move on, it's never too late until you're dead. If he has moved on, maybe they can be good friends, if he hasn't maybe more. sounds like the wound never closed, don't discourage her from doing what she needs to do to heal.
2007-02-07 11:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to call him, do not interfere, although I have my doubts on his feelings in the same way you do. If she does not call him,she is not to be hurt, but she will always put him on a pedestal ... so even if she gets hurt,she might benefit on a long run.
2007-02-07 11:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by Vesna G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because you can send time with them
2007-02-07 11:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by deelashon j 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋