i want to talk to someone who has delt with a sexually abused child and can tell me signs, how do you know if they are telling the truth and how i can really ask a 3 year old girl about it without planting seeds, she has said on 3 different occasions that somone was touching her down there but we cant confront them witgourt a huge fued but we have told dfs but they didnt really do anything at all we want to be sure sure before we start causing huge problems but we do not want to just wonder anymore
2007-02-07 03:17:35 · 17 answers · asked by sally 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
the one she is saying is her mothers brother who is 11 and she really likes him she even has an imaginary friend she calls his name at our house (her dads) but i just think maybe he has been doing it for so long that she thinks its normal?
2007-02-07 03:33:23 · update #1
I am not a professional, but I am a mother of a two and one year old girls. I say go with your gut instinct. It usually is always right. A three year old knows her private parts and has no reason to state that someone is touching there if they really haven't been. Her mother is going to have it hard to believe that her child is being touched by another relative, especially one of that age. Until you have confronted the situation full force, be sure to constantly let her know that it is not okay for anyone to touch down there. " no one at all, including daddy, this way she gets the point that not even the one man she loves the most must not touch her. For you, please keep strong, don't argue. just let everyone know that you are concerned for her well-being.
2007-02-07 04:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by Iwonder 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, if it's true, it's disgusting! Anyone who could do something so dispicable deserves to be locked up for life, I'm sure you'll agree. It's also a huge accusation to make though and if it's not true it could seriously affect the person in question. They'd probably lose their job, friends and so much more if it was revealed. Ask yourselves if there's any reason your child would make this up. I don't mean she's deliberately lying, I just mean that she's only three and could just have seen something on TV or made up what she thought was a harmless story. Make sure she knows that this is serious and not just a game. Tell her how angry you will be if she is lying and that a lot of people will be disappointed in her. Small children tend to trust their parents (assuming that's what you are...) so she will probably tell you the truth. If she doesn't change her story ask her to tell you exactly what happened because it's unlikely if she's lying that she will be able to elaborate on her story while keeping it believable. If you believe her after all this then you will need to report this person to the police as soon as possible. It is your choice whether you confront the person first or not. Just be very careful as to who you are accusing in this very difficult situation.
I wish you the best of luck and really hope that it isn't true!
2007-02-07 03:34:14 · answer #2 · answered by Person M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all a 3 year old child does not know to lie about such things. It cannot be a revenge thing as they have no idea of the consequences. Just ask her to tell you what is being done and she will be able to show you. I had a little cousin that at 2 1/2 was being molested and could give us almost every detail of what was happening to her without being prompted(other than of course asking her what the guy did to her) This is a very serious matter which needs to be taken care of immediately even if it is going to cause a feud. this is a little girls innocence here.
2007-02-07 03:23:57 · answer #3 · answered by mom2ace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cindi P is right. I have a 4 year old girl and at age 3, they really have not learned how to lie about things (especially about abuse by another person). Only recently, she has started lying about touching our pet guinea pig's house because she doesn't want to get in trouble for moving it so she will tell me that he moved it himself. That's it. When it comes to your own children you never take chances!!! Bring your daughter to a doctor and call the police today!!! Or call the police from the doctor's office if you prefer but do not put this off. And who cares about causing problems. Move away if you have to then. This is your baby and she is the most important thing on earth. If you are concerned about planting seeds in your daughter's head, tell the doctor or another professional your concerns and suspicions and let them interview her, but please get on this today!
2007-02-07 03:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this question, how does a 3 year old know how to lie?
More importantly, why would she lie?
If she is telling you that some is touching her there without you "planting the seed", then you had better listen!
You could also take her the doctor and have her checked out, if you think she is lying. That's insane, that you would think your child lies, did you teach her to lie?
You are the parent, do your job, protect her!
2007-02-07 03:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by doodles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your doctor can tell if the hymen is broken. It's also a good idea to talk to your doctor/pediatrician simply because if someone has done something you want to be sure there are no STDs that are going unchecked. Also a child psychologist could help you about how to talk to the child to find out what has happened. If the child is saying it all, it's likely happened, as they don't have the forethought at three years old to make something like that up.
2007-02-07 03:23:52 · answer #6 · answered by Marlietta 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would believe that child,there is no way a 3 year old would make this up.Have the child checked by a doctor.The doctor will be able to help you take the matter further.
2007-02-07 03:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by Daisy Roots 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking from experience....watch for unusual signs such as being potty trained then to having lots of accidents, aftraid of being touched or wiped if having accidents, withdrawn and crying a lot or any unusual behavior even for her. If it is another child touching her, they say that children sexually experiment. It is somewhat normal.
2007-02-07 03:22:51 · answer #8 · answered by Sheila 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Toddlers don't normally lie about this kiind of thing mainly because they don't understand what is going on. This problem if ineded it is happening must be addressed immediately. Ther is nothing worse than a child molester.
2007-02-07 03:27:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That little girl needs to be seen by a therapist under the watchful eye of a camera so that it can be used in court.
Little girls don't just make up stories like that. You've got to do something to get her out of the situation.
2007-02-07 03:22:29 · answer #10 · answered by bluegrass 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋