What do you think of this?

Question

My husbands mom hasn't been the friendliest over the years.

I tried being nice & nvited her out with the girls. Everyone noticed how grim she was, she never smiled and didn't talk to anyone. So it just wasn't me, she was this way with my friends and family. She was also this way with her own mom.

Over the years I began to accept that she's this way with everyone. There's something wrong with her socially.

Then a sister-in-law my age came into the picture. I find out that they're best friends, talk for hours on the phone, go shopping, bake together... Imagine my surprise that she has the capability to talk on the phone and do things with people.

I'm furious because I have been nice to her all these years and have had to accept "the way she is" & i now find out she has the capability to be nice!

My husband doesn't see anything wrong with this. I'm hurt & mad I have been nice and it turns out she really doesn't like me! I wouldn't have tried so hard. Thoughts?

Answer 1

Don't be upset because you took the high road. Don't bend over backwards to be nice to her. Just accept she doesn't like you (not everyone will or has to) and you don't like her but you both love your husband. Just leave it at that. You wouldn't be friends with her now anyway. She's the one losing out. You husband should not let his mother be rude to you in any way though. If she's rude to you then he must tell her he won't allow it and leave. I wouldn't invite her out with your friends and family. She's not your friend and has made it clear she doesn't want to be. Be cordial. Good Luck!

Answer 2

While she may not appreciate it, you did the right thing by trying to include her and befriend her. As you know, when we get married we do in a way marry the family, too, because they are a big part of our lives. Your Mother in law has a problem and it's not you. Be proud of what you've done and feel good about yourself. You have done the best you can to be a good daughter in law so that's all you can do.

Answer 3

I've actually heard about this type of treatment before. Here is my recommendation, Ignore your mother in law.
she obviously doesn't like you and that's ok.
she doesnt have to. when and if she ever brings it up then air out your feelings, but by know means should you let anyone see that her behavior bothers you. why give her that control over you and the satisfaction. she obviously doesnt act correctly and if your husband doesnt get it, the he's an ***.
Be strong and ignore the whole damn thing, you don't really want to be best pals with your mother in law do you?

Answer 4

honey we all have these problems my husband swears his mom likes me but she never comes to visit and she lives across the road.His dad comes about twice a week to see his granddaughter but she has came maybe five times in a year.She doesn't talk to me when i go over there,she will talk if i ask her something or talk first but other than that zip notta.So i recently gave them pictures of the new baby she has not hung them up yet its been four months the picture is framed laying face down on a bed in the spare room,but she has all her other grandkids everywhere including my husband's daughter from a previous marriage.So I was like fine I won't give her anymore of my pictures and I havent.I walk in the other day and notice she still has a picture of my husband and his ex wife up.That was the last straw for me.I asked my husband if he knew he said she keeps it up because his daughter wants her too.I don't care I think she is disrespecting me in more ways than that.So don't feel alone we all have mother in laws like this but just think they won't be around forever lol......just forget about it u can't make someone like you and your husband won't say anything to her because i have asked my hubby to and he won't so just forget it

Answer 5

Let her make your Sister in Laws life miserable. Odds are they will at some point go on the outs and the friendship will be gone if she is the way she is. Misery breads Misery!! I would stay as far away from the situation as Possible.

Answer 6

Well, I am sorry about the situation. I wonder if your husband is her only son. If so, that's the reason why. Some people can't and won't change. You can't help someone who does not want to help themselves. As for your husband and that being his mother, that is very insensitive for him not to see where you are coming from.

Answer 7

Maybe you've been trying too hard. Just be yourself, and maybe she'll come around. She may have felt you weren't sincere. Of course, we never know what's in another person's heart, so don't take it too personally. Continue to be kind, but don't make yourself crazy.

Good Luck.

Answer 8

perhaps there are reasons why your mother in law treated/treats you this way---maybe u are a threat to her? maybe she has some serious pscyhological problems or maybe she is just not a nice person........whatever the case---take care of yourself and always take the high road.....good luck