We do not want gifts at wour wedding. How to tell people politely?

Question

I am an American getting married to a German man this summer in Las Vegas. We do not want any presents because we would have to ship them overseas to Germany where we will be living-this costs so much!
How do we tell the invitees this, and what are different options for them if they insist on giving us a gift? Is it wrong to have them help monetarily with the honeymoon?
I know that if they insist on giving us a present I will happily accept it and we will ship it, but I think it would help so much for different ideas.

OOPs-I meant to ask...

We do not want gifts at our wedding. How to tell people politely?

We will not be putting anything on the invitation about gifts-this would be rude.

Answer 1

you cannot write no gifts BUT we accept $.. tacky


tell a very close relative and best friend of your want, desire, and fears and let them by word of mouth tell the rest of your family/friends

Answer 2

I really think that if you are straightforward and honest with your guests about the costs of shipping, etc., they will all understand. One option I immediately thought of was registering for a vacation. This is becoming a more and more common practice. The bride and groom-to-be go to a travel agency and pick out a vacation, like a cruise or a trip somewhere exotic, and the travel agency prints up little cards that you can slip into the invitations that say the couple is registered for such-and-such vacation at such-and-such travel agency, and then the guests call and put however much money they want towards the trip in lieu of purchasing a wedding gift. This is a great idea for couples who have been living together for a while and already have all the kitchen and household appliances they need. It's also great for your situation because then your guests still feel like they got you something you really want, and you don't have to ship anything back!

Answer 3

You could put a little note on your wedding website (if you have one) that says "The Gift of Your Presence is All That We Ask" or you could ask them to donate to a charity instead.

You could do a honeymoon registry if you'd like them to help with the honeymoon, though many people still do not like that.

I'd just let your friends & family know to tell people that you do not want gifts or to suggest the charity donation. You are correct that it should not be with the invitations.

Answer 4

A good option is when you're registering to check out www.honeyluna.com. It allows people to donate certain things (ie hotel stay, plane tickets, a meal) for your honeymoon. For example, my fiancee & I will be honeymooning in London so one of the gifts on our registry is a day pass to see Stonehenge. All your guests have to do is go to the site, pick out what they want to get you, and pay by credit card. It's super easy and a very reliable website. Two weeks before the honeymoon, they will send you a check for the full amount that people have bought and any remaining money acquired after that will be sent after the honeymoon.

Answer 5

Well if it makes you feel better about it, most people give out money anyway. At my wedding I only had a handful of gifts. We got the bulk of our gifts with our wedding shower. So maybe skip having the shower.
I'm not really sure there's a proper way to ask for money instead. If you put Please no gifts, some may take that as give nothing, and some would be offended if they knew it meant cash only.

Answer 6

If you have invitation cards, you can use of the insert or information cards with it. Ex: "At Home Cards" ~ these are usually included for Couples who will be residing in a different country after the wedding. This is the Couple's way of announcing their new home address and a subtle way to advise people that Cash Gifts or gifts in small packages will be more preferred for practical reasons c",)

Answer 7

I don't think you have to say anything... people are smart enough to know you don't want to lug a fondue set to german. And since your getting married in Las Vegas... it's not like your having a huge wedding and going to get a ton of gifts. Most people are just going to give you money anyways. My friend is marring a german girl and moving there.... going through the same thing. Everyone is giving cash and they didn't ask for anything.

Answer 8

Well you are right that mentioning gifts on the invitation is not quite proper. So that means people will have to depend on word-of-mouth to find out where you are registered. Tell your wedding party and those close to you that you don't desire gifts and when asked, to tell people not to give them. You could also say something like you are gracefully accepting cash gifts because of the burden of shipping tangible gifts.

Answer 9

The best thing to do is offer a different idea, such as donating to an organization that is meaning ful to you. On a separate card in the invitation say something to the effect of "In lieu of wedding gifts, please donate to World Vision" It's a polite way of saying that you do not want any gifts.

Answer 10

I know there are some websites that allow your wedding guests to make a monetary donation to help cover the cost of your honeymoon...so this could be an option

Answer 11

this actually sounds like a question for miss manners. but i will try. this what i think, people put in the invitation on a separate card where the they are registered. so people can buy gifts, so maybe on a separate card you could explain your situation about Germany, & ask in lieu of gifts maybe gift cards & i believe the major banks carry gift cards so maybe that could be factored in. good luck & congrats.

I believe asking for gifts is the same as asking for money & when people put down where they are registered, that is the same as asking for it so i think it could be worded tastefuly