i know that it sounds bad but when i had my son i felt nothing no bond i still dont feal a bond. i mean i love him with all my heart and and cant see my life with out him but just not a bond and now that i am pg agen i dont feal happy but sad that my time with my son wont be as it always has been. and now i feal like a bad mom cause i am not happy about the new baby comming. has anyone else had fealings like this.
2007-02-07 02:38:53 · 10 answers · asked by bebebe 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
This is really sad. I am sad for you and your kids. You need to get treated by a doctor, this is not normal. There are so many of us out here that can't get pregnant and would jump for joy if we could just conceive. You are blessed to have these kids and they need you to be invested in their lives.
2007-02-07 05:51:57 · answer #1 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was worried about this same thing when I had my second son. I had the same exact feelings as you have. I love him and cared for him well, but I really felt bad, and wondered why. However, the bonding did come, just not as instantly as it did with my first. I believe it was when he was about 18 mths old before I really felt that natural bond. It may be like the others suggested and be post partem blues, but I didn't have any other symptoms except that. We have since had a very close relationship, and he is 18 now. I would discuss it your doctor, and I'm sure he/she will reassure you that you are not the only one who has experienced this. You are being a good loving mother, and be happy about your new baby...every baby is a blessing.
2007-02-07 11:13:51 · answer #2 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been pregnant, but in my psychology studies, I've learned that this happens to many women and it doesn't make you a bad person. Pregnancy and childbirth affect women differently, and not every woman is immediately enamored and inseparable from the baby like in the movies. While most women do have automatic maternal feelings for the child that stem from the pregnancy, the actual relationship between mother and child is not automatic; like any relationship, it is one that is built over time. It can be close or distant, simply depending on the individuals and circumstances.
You can be a close as you want to with you children. The question is are you standing in the way of a bond with your son? Are there circumstances in your life that make it difficult to really focus on building a relationship with your son? And are these circumstances imposing worry about the child on the way? Are you generally a person that has trouble maintaining close relationships? I guess only you can answer that, but talking with someone about your concerns can help you discover what's going on. I know many people consider therapists to be hacks, and some of them are, but talking to someone outside of your situation who is trained to ask the right questions can help you understand and organize your thoughts and come to a solution.
2007-02-07 10:53:37 · answer #3 · answered by kittykorruption 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand...and you definitely aren't the only one...my baby is 4.5 months old and I too felt very strange about him...I still dont enjoy each and every moment with him...but that's normal....the fact that you say you cant live without him and feel guilty about the time with your son will be gone....shows that you DO have a bond with him...maybe not what we see in the movies, but we all care for our kids in our own way...dont be so hard on yourself and enjoy your pregnancy....:) best of luck
2007-02-07 10:47:38 · answer #4 · answered by Ank 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not the only one. I didn't feel that bond with my second child until she was a toddler (due to the circumstances of being a single mom). You may be experiencing post-partum depression. Talk to your doctor or a counselor at church, natural herbs or medicine may be required to get you through this time.
2007-02-07 10:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I felt that way with my son the first week.. I am not sure why. Maybe it was for me deep down inside I was scared that I might fail as a mom and all the responsibility that it brings. Also my DR. told me that it could be a little of Postpartum Depression.
Good Luck to you. And if it continues, please see your doctor..
2007-02-07 10:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I havent, but that is some of the symtoms of Post Partum Depression. The fact that you are pregnant again, and horomones factors into even more. Talk to your ob/midwife at your next visit.
2007-02-07 10:42:17 · answer #7 · answered by Bunker J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Definitely sounds like postpartum depression to me. Get to the doctor to get yourself taken care of. Then, you can get back to bonding with your baby. Best of luck!
2007-02-07 10:46:15 · answer #8 · answered by mommyof2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a textbook case of post-partum depression and you really really realllly need to talk to a healthcare professional about this...reallllllly...
take care, sweetie.
2007-02-07 10:42:04 · answer #9 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know that's kinda weird. as for me i have too son and i was so excited to see them during my pregnancy. Maybe you dont love your husband/partner because i think it has somethind to do woth your past that's why you feel like you dont love your kids.
2007-02-07 10:44:01 · answer #10 · answered by Janelyn B 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋