i know that it sounds bad but when i had my son i felt nothing no bond i still dont feal a bond. i mean i love him with all my heart and and cant see my life with out him but just not a baond and now that i am pg agen i dont feal happy but sad that my time with my son wont be as it always has been. and now i feal like a bad mom cause i am not happy about the new baby comming. has anyone else had fealings like this.
2007-02-07 02:37:35 · 9 answers · asked by bebebe 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
i have a small son and am pregnant again. it is hard to get as excited with this one as i was with the first one because nothing is new this time. heartbeats are just heartbeats. i don't really count the weeks anymore. i am excited, but not the way i was before. you're not alone.
2007-02-07 02:41:26 · answer #1 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are not alone by any means!
When I found out I was pregnant for the 3rd time (unexpected gift!!) I spent the whole pregnancy feeling wretched, so upset that my second daughter wouldn't be able to be 'the baby' for any length of time at all, before another baby came.(she was only 6 months when I fell pregnant again) When my son came, the bond just wasn't there, it took an awfully long time for me to feel anything towards him, I suffered terribly from PND after his birth which didn't help either. Not all women bond immediately, not all women love their children immediately, it is not unnatural, it sometimes takes a little bit of time thats all.
My son and I have a really close bond now, it took time, but anything worthwhile usually does.
Try to keep your chin up, the next few months will be hard, but you are a fantastic mum for admitting these feelings, now you need someone close to hand to talk it all through with, you will be feeling better in no time.
Good luck.
2007-02-07 10:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him and can't imagine your life without him then you have bonded with him. We all bond in our own ways according to our natural personality.
Sometimes pregnancy makes us have weird emotions and thoughts. No, the time you have with your son from now on will not be the same but you can still share a special relationship with him separate from the new baby. Be sure to give him as much one on one time as you can after the baby is born. And do the same for the baby. Talk to your doctor or see a therapist because the post-partem depression might hit you pretty hard.
2007-02-07 10:45:55 · answer #3 · answered by Nasubi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, this is normal. I felt the same way with my daughter for a long time. At the time, I was going through a lot of stress and I couldn't focus on just being happy about having my baby. It took a really long time for me to feel a bond but now we are fine. Try to elliminate stress and think about what makes your baby special. Also think about the things that make your relationship with you baby more special then your relationship with other people. For instance, the baby depends on you and needs you.
2007-02-07 10:47:54 · answer #4 · answered by Shanti A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt like this for 3 weeks after having my daughter. I was so sad all the time. Luckily it went away on it's own. It's due to hormones and it's totally normal. Just wait until you feel this baby move and see him/her on a sonogram. The bonding will start, and just like with your son you will fall in love with this baby too.
2007-02-07 10:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is normal to feel this way....You have another baby on the way and it is an overwhelming feeling......I stayed home with my three girls who came one after the other and the second child I never felt I gave enough to, like she got short changed whereas the youngest and the oldest had more of Mommy...Now I just had a baby boy 20 months ago and hubby broke his hip on the job and is out of work so I had to go back to work and I definately do not feel bonded with my son these days yet hubby is.......I feel like a crappy Mom too......Thing is back when I had girls I felt an immediate bond with my baby in the hospital so much so I would not send the baby back to the nursury at night because I didnt trust the nurses to take care of my baby lol They hated me.........so if you bond too much you are a bad mom too! Just know it will pass......you and I will both bond with our sons more....He crawled up on me the other day and cuddled up next to me and I did feel the first real signs of bonding with him since he was an infant before I had to go back to work and leave him with hubby at home to watch.......It will happen.......its hard though isnt it! I dont think men worry about these kinds of things either......as mothers we do though because we are supposed to be this supermom and we compare ourselves to others and feel something is wrong with us if we dont bond to our kids right away....I love all my kids but feel the way you do quite a lot of the time....
2007-02-07 10:46:24 · answer #6 · answered by Jenny T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It happens I know it happed to me don't worry the bond will come as long as you love him and show him that you do he will love you and never feel bad about you guys not bonding.
2007-02-07 10:49:15 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥LOVED♥♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a serious depression. Everyone goes through hormonal times when they are pregnant and right after, but this sounds like severe post partum depression to me. Please talk to the doctor about this.
2007-02-07 10:44:39 · answer #8 · answered by Bean62960 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need help see a therapist! Don't hurt your babies get help!
2007-02-07 10:40:55 · answer #9 · answered by Monet 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋