I am not very good at sex. Truth be told, I am very nervous and timid. I am getting married in June and I know I will be terrible in the bedroom on the wedding night. Ifind it hard to get an erection when I am nervous (which is all the time when sex is concerned) and I find it hard to keep one. My fiancée is apparantly too overweight to go on the pill, so we have to use condoms. She doesn't, however, like the feel of them. I am concerned that perhaps she doesn't actually like the feel of sex, and the condoms are an excuse. When we do have sex (approximately four times per year) I have to withdraw. This isn't a very good method of contraception and it worries us such that every month we take a pregnancy test (her weight also affects her periods and she often misses them). She has never been pregnant (yet) though.
Anyway, I only want serious answers here - no mickey taking and no insulting. If you are under 18, don't bother to answer. My question is, how do I get better?
2007-02-07 02:32:34 · 2 answers · asked by Mawkish 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
...and yes, we have talked about this. It isn't an easy thing to talk about because she would never admit that I am bad in bed.
2007-02-07 02:33:17 · update #1
Renee: Thank you for you answer. The problem with alternative forms of contraception is that my fiancée is too afraid to go to the doctors. She weights 23 stone (146 kg) and she has experienced times when Doctors have been blamed any problem she has on her weight - this obviously upsets her. The long term plan is for her to lose weight so she can go on the pill, but I am not (and would not) force that on her. It is actually something she wants to do.
As with the erectile disfunction, I can actually give you a transcript of the conversation I have with myself in my head in the bedroom:
"Oh, she's looking very nice"
"What's that, she wants me to make love to her?"
"Now all I need is an erection"
"Uh oh, what if I don't get one"
"Oh no, she thinks I don't find her attractive because I am not getting an erection"
"Why wont you just get an errection"
"Come on, if I try not to think about it, it might happen"
"Nope, still not happening"
"Oh, now she's going to get upset"...
2007-02-07 03:05:56 · update #2
... remember, this is all me talking to myself... so you can see why I don't think it's a medical thing. I just don't know what to do about it. When I try to relax, it panics me more. The worst thing is, I actually think she wants to have sex with me, I am just too nervous and I hate myself for it. I can't satisfy her in the way she wants.
2007-02-07 03:07:11 · update #3
there are other forms of contraceptives, which she would have to look into such as an IUD and you may have a medical condition not just you cant because your nervous that needs to be looked at by a doctor....
2007-02-07 02:50:20 · answer #1 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2014-05-13 03:54:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋